WhatDay?

Trim the stem and root ends of small radishes and scrape off most of the red skin. Leave just enough red to give a veined appearance. Use a melon baller to cut 1/2-inch-diameter holes. Fit an olive, cut side out, into holes.

On top of the latest multi-boondogglies - or doomnogglies - I topped myself for stooopid. Coupons will, without a doubt, eventually be my Waterloo. I try, I really do. However, on the rare occasions I manage to attach a few to my list, the coupons and the list end up left on the counter. Had it together this time, by gawd, that cart was packed with stuff I usually buy anyway and a coupla new goodies to try. Sooooooo proud of myself ... alas, nature called. Coupons went back in the purse, forgot all about them until groceries were unloaded.

At least I was still in the parking lot. Slapped self, went back in the store to announce I was an idiot, and could I please have the money? Cashier was politely amused, gave me the money and assured me I wasn't the only idiot. Well hell, all that for $2.37 ... and sho'nuf I'll do it again.

A woman was bemoaning the fact that she had procrastinated cleaning and organizing her house for a long time. Since she was planning to entertain, she felt a lot of pressure to get moving. That afternoon she phoned a friend, sounding glum.

"I went to the bookstore, and bought a book on how to get organized. I was all fired up, and decided to clean out all the shelves in the living room. While I was working, I found the same darn book. I had bought it a couple of years ago."

Please be advised any errors contained within this publication are intentional. I strive to offer something for everyone, including those who enjoy looking for mistakes.

However, if you spot a glaring naughty, please let me know.
MarthaJones1@aol.com

Also, tell me if you want to stay on/be added to new page notification list: SendNewPage@aol.com - not that I can guarantee delivery, your request might not arrive in the first place. The aol mail-eating buggies have been especially hungry lately. If I don't acknowledge in a day or two, please try again.

A clearly defined subject line helps eliminate deletions. In other words, if I don't know you, you might get zapped along with the junk.

Help yourself to anything you like on any of my pages. Quite a few graphics were by special request from tag groups, I made several along the way and others magically appeared in my mailbox or were "swiped" with permission. Linking back is cool, nobody's gonna have a hissy if you don't.

Alrighty then, why not get a jump ... this was too cute not to use right away.

Toldja I started this page last summer - think of it now as waaay ahead on next year.

When you go to http://chunky.nfl.com/click_for_cans.html and click on your favorite NFL team, Campbell's will donate a can of soup, up to 5 million cans, to the needy.

Hold on a sec ... from Snopes.com, "Campbell's handles the 'Tackling Hunger' payoff by collecting store returns of dented and otherwise unsaleable cans of soup and sending them to redistribution centers of their choosing. The (store-returned) cans of soup do eventually reach the needy, but any food pantry or other charity group that doesn't work directly with a redistribution outlet can't claim them, and the NFL teams and cities have no say in where the cans end up." See: http://www.snopes.com/inboxer/nothing/campbell.htm

Never occurred to me to question - stumbled on it looking for another subject. My gawd - Campbell's??? Football??? Messin' with American institutions??? - in a word ... SUX.

http://www.something-fishy.org/ - "Scales are for fish," says the Something Fishy Website - for anyone whose life has been touched by eating disorders, including over-exercise. Read testimonials from people struggling to develop a healthy relationship to food and exercise, get advice on how to help loved ones with eating disorders/what you can do to lower further risk, explore the cultural stereotypes and search for treatment options. "This is a very thorough and sensitive site that touches on all aspects of food addictions and abuses," SuzyWoo2

Excerpt from The MailTruck, subscribe: Suzywoo2@aol.com - Subject=I want a disclaimer so I can join the MailTruck!

From Rina: It used to be called Tai Bo, but Billy Blanks threatened to sue the world for using his title, so now it's kick boxing.

From Sue: Looks like someone who needs a CD writer because his files, like mine, will no longer fit onto a diskette! Either that or he is taking a break from sitting at his computer for entirely too long, like some of us. And we know who we are, don't we? :O}

Due to a recent court ruling T.G.I.F. has been shortened to I.F.

I'm including the following even though the chaos has settled, somewhat. No telling what the latest might be by the time this page quits floating around.

Hooray for Dennis Miller!!
(In any case, that was the credit given for the following, see: http://www.snopes.com/inboxer/outrage/miller2.htm)

Regarding the judges who declared the Pledge of Allegiance unconstitutional, Miller said, "So, the Pledge is unconstitutional because it says 'Under God.' Guess that means when you were sworn in with your hand on a Bible, and at the end of your oath repeated, 'So help me God' makes your job unconstitutional, therefore you have no job, which means your ruling doesn't mean anything."

My two cents (copy of mailer): Pointing that out would be why Miller makes the big bucks.

Now to take it a few steps further ... ALL judicial action must now be considered bogus. Isn't that special? All prisons can be emptied, and there'll be no more worry about enforcing any legislation. Everybody can do whatever they want with no fear of reprisal. Waaay cool dude, total anarchy. Bonus: Whoever wants to put the moron who started this BS out of his misery can do so with a clear conscience. Ditto for the idiots who let it get as far as court in the first place.

Here's an interesting side effect. I have avoided most specific references to God, including God-bless graphics on all my WAR pages - except the one that addresses religious diversity. Possibly no one even noticed. That was the point - I don't push my beliefs. Whatever path anyone chooses to follow is their own business, not mine. Exactly as any of my life choices are no one else's concern. Therein lies the BIG clue. The need for demolition would not exist if everyone stayed on their own side of the fence.

But back to that personal side effect - trying to telling me I can't use God (in reference or any other context) now gives me a reason to support the need most people seem to have for their beliefs, however they may focus. You know, that little old golden rule ... do unto others. I have seen how that system works.

As for the flag, I will continue on my unabashed, flag-happy writing and posting way. Pledging allegiance is a privilege - completely irrelevant to and/or for what or whom we as individuals do it under.

American PatriNOTS need to go find another country to pollute. They'll have some fun trying to pull off diversity "rights" there.

The irony comparison of opposite result, as in 9-11 intent, should be obvious.

For those who don't know me, there's plenty more where that came from:

The Whispering Activist Record
central link/update page
http://www.therealmartha.com/WAR/index.htm The Whispering Activist a.k.a. Martha Jones - Opinions and ideas, mine and from others, that everyone can use to get involved, make a difference and lighten the load. Find hoax busters, media hype alerts, timely info, controversy, common sense, commiseration, empathy, household tips, easy recipes, critter stuff, variety links, and a little humor along the way.

Great news! Some of the old favorite singers and bands have re-released their great hits with new lyrics to accommodate their aging audience. Some examples:

Herman's Hermits - "Mrs. Brown You've Got a Lovely Walker"
The Rolling Stones - "You Can't Always Pee When You Want"
Creedence Clearwater Revival - "Bad Prune Rising"
Marvin Gaye - "I Heard It Through the Grape Nuts"
The Who - "Talkin' 'Bout My Medication"
Carly Simon - "You're So Varicose Vein"
The Bee Gees - "How Can You Mend a Broken Hip"
Roberta Flack - "The First Time Ever I Forgot Your Face"
Johnny Nash - "I Can't See Clearly Now"
The Temptations - "Papa Got a Kidney Stone"
ABBA - "Denture Queen"
Leo Sayer - "You Make Me Feel Like Napping"
Commodores - "Once, Twice, Three Trips to the Bathroom"
Procol Harem - "A Whiter Shade of Hair"
The Beatles - "I Get By with a Little Help from Depends"

Special honor for a friend:

The following is a letter Congressman Shows sent to his colleagues in the House of Representatives. It was also a speech to Congress, entered in the Congressional Record.

Phil Alperson
Legislative Director/Interim Chief of Staff
Rep. Ronnie Shows (D-Mississippi 4th)
1408 Longworth House Office Bldg.
Washington, D.C. 20515
http://www.house.gov/shows/

"I Will Soar Again"
http://www.iwillsoaragain.com/
Honor the heroes who made Independence Day possible!

June 25, 2002

Dear Colleague:

As we prepare to go home to celebrate the July 4th holiday and the anniversary of America's Independence, we must remember the contributions of our fighting men and women who made our independence possible and who keep us free today.

In this regard, I want to share with you the work of Cindy Taylor-Dawson, of Brandon, Mississippi. She has created a web site called "I Will Soar Again," inspired by the events of September 11th and dedicated to the heroes who put their lives on the line to defend our freedom. "I Will Soar Again" has been viewed by countless people around the world, and has enabled them to express their thanks to America's heroes.

"I Will Soar Again" represents the best of America and the power of what just one person with a vision can accomplish.

Last year "I Will Soar Again" featured "Trees for the Troops 2001," where people could post messages on a "virtual Christmas Tree" that could be viewed by our troops, no matter where they were stationed. In fact, Cindy used every message to decorate real Christmas Trees, too! She is anxious to get going on "Trees for the Troops 2002"

I commend this web site to you: http://www.iwillsoaragain.com/

There are many things to see and read, including samplings of Cindy's poetry. By scrolling down to the bottom you will find "Trees for the Troops 2001" and you can read the heartfelt greetings submitted by thousands of grateful people.

"I Will Soar Again" is one person's way of saying God Bless America. I commend this site to you, your staffs, your families and your constituents. I hope you will share this site with them so they can contribute to the next Christmas Tree.

Sincerely,

Ronnie Shows
Member of Congress

From Wysper

I'm a old American Indian, and I just love your site. I have never laughed so much in my life. Mostly because I've been there and done that. I've been cooking at cooking for nearly 55 years. My poor husband used to ask what we were going to have for dinner. I would say I have no idea, just as I was getting things started, and trying to decide what I had to throw together. Hoped it tasted good and that no one wanted me to make it again, because I surely couldn't remember what I had done that time.

I wanted to tell you my Jalapeno Story. I went to a Church's Chicken (boy am I a Chicken Hawk) just for a snack. Got two large pieces of chicken, which came with a jalapeno. So I tore it apart and started eating a bite of chicken and a bite of jalapeno. In came a family, husband and wife and two small children. The husband ordered. When they sat down, the wife asked what that green thing was. Husband said he wasn't sure, but it could be some sort of a pickle.

Upon seeing me take bites of it with my chicken, he decided he would bite his and check it out. At the minute past the bite, his face started turning a bright crimson red, his ears started to stand straight out, and he jumped up and ran towards the restroom crying do not touch it over and over as he ran. A few minutes later he came out with such a surprised look on his face as he stood and watched me take another bite. Then he walked over to me and asked just what it was that had so severely attacked him, if I wouldn't mind telling him, wondering very loudly if I had a cast iron mouth. The poor guy was from New York, and I will never forget the look on his face as he gently walked over and tiptoed the jalapenos into the trash can.

My note: Way back when, a little while after I'd been chopping jalepenos my fingertips started to burn, out loud! Was positive I'd contracted some rare disease. Figured it finally and figured there'd be no more of that exercise.

Aha! A tip from Suzanne: I had to call 'poison control' once as my little sister's hands were a red mess from seeding jalapenos. They suggested applying vegetable oil directly to the skin to dilute the pepper oils. She had washed her hands more than 20 times before we tried this. Soap and water just did not do the trick.

Aha #2 - That reminded me ... water will not douse a spice fire in the mouth - oil and water do not mix. Try drinking milk, it coats the oil or something like that.

Wysper's Indian Fry Bread
"If bread isn't around and you don't feel like baking, here is a quick recipe I think you will like."

Wysper promised more which will appear soon on another page, including some of those baffling English measures and more. I looked all over to answer another reader's, "What's a knob of butter?" Found lots of recipes calling for a knob, still no clue what the equivalent was. Brit-born Sue to the rescue, with some funnies too. Stay tuned!

Don't miss http://www.therealmartha.com/WysperMade/index.htm - Wysperings, example display of hand-crafted baskets, bead work earrings and more.

www.eMailOurMilitary.com - Stepping in where "Any Service Member" and "Operation Dear Abby" mail programs left off. eMOM is a free service providing the opportunity for anyone to let America's military service members know how much we appreciate what they do on our behalf 24 hours a day, 7 days a week, 365 days a year.

The latest ploy to drive the Taliban out of the mountains of Afghanistan is to send in a team of Alabama Special Forces.

Billy Bob, Bubba, and Cooter are being sent in and told three things:

1. The limit is two.
2. The season ended last weekend.
3. They taste just like chicken.