GreenFridge

Not the Usual Hints and Tips
a special installment from
www.TheRealMartha.com
Real easy recipes for real busy, real people

Dedicated to the green beast that would not die, all the while providing endless hours of murderous snowmaking "fun" in the Arizona desert.

I am a hint junkie. Not an altogether non-productive addiction, based not on any desire to spend more quality time on domesticity, but getting out of the kitchen as fast and painlessly as possible. It's a cheap thrill finding NOOMs - new ones on me - in fact, I have a standing offer for a free copy of "Holiday Lifestyles of the Culinarily Inept" for anyone who sends in any sort of original household tip that trips my trigger. I am particularly fond of the oddballs, like a 15 oz. jar of spaghetti sauce being the "correct" weight for an emergency rolling pin substitute.

A quite talented baker gave me the jar tip. Not that I'll ever use it, pie crusts are not me. I did own a rolling pin at one time, fine hammer it was. Wouldn't try that with a jar ... padlock works in a pinch though.

Notice, there are bakers and there are "regular" cooks. Rarely does one excel at both efforts - such is life. After a rather rocky start and years of battling recalcitrant appliances, I truly believe if all I had was a hot rock on which to stir a pot, I would win. Tales of this nature are scattered all around, starting with Diary of a Mad Politically Incorrect Cook: http://members.aol.com/MsAtte2ude/diarymadpicook.index.html

Follow the links to indexes for recipes listed by title, more tips and moochas miscellanea. One of these days I'll get to fixes needed on the old Aol pages. In the meantime, I'm plain too busy trying to keep up with the newer projects: http://www.therealmartha.com/indexgraphiccr/default.htm ~ Feeder's Digest, critters, humor, stuff that'll really get ya, Bright Spots and for the duration, The Whispering Activist series.

Featuring TheBub Notes™ - similar to, but not to be confused with Cliff Notes classics study guides. TheBub is a classic species, not always easily identifiable at first glance. Upon further examination, one will notice certain ingrained behavior, fluctuating as far as their aboriginal range. Y'all can take Bubba outta Texas, but ya can't take Texas outta Bubba. Ya never know when one'll reverterate on ya either. Manifestations may vary due to port of origin and import/export conditions. One classic clash: http://members.aol.com/AltMartha/gravy.index.html; progress: http://members.aol.com/AltMartha/BubbaGourmet.index.html

The first tip below is responsible for starting this page. Shortly after, the simply brilliant idea for using a fridge-type magnet to cover car door locks when expecting nasty weather. It would be impossible to credit each entry individually, snatched 'em from all over. Many are "brand new" - including a few of my own recent discoveries - others have been circulating a while. Like all my pages, everything here is for my own reference protection the next time I lose files.

Enjoy my public library, and don't forget about the freebie book deal. Please use a clearly defined subject line. Due to the mountain of daily junk/virus mail, when I don't recognize return addresses, I have to delete. MarthaJones1@aol.com or, if that box is full, try MsAtte2ude@aol.com. Also, please see more mail notes at end of page.

When defrosting the freezer, or cleaning the fridge, store items in the oven. Aside from being extremely well insulated, also has convenient pull out shelves.

Think about the following before proceeding, and this: just because I say whatever works, or anybody else does ... at any given time ... especially in the kitchen, disaster looms. Life is too short to sweat the small stuff. Keep that pizza place number on speed dial.

Those who suffer the curse of perfectionism do not understand their goal is realistically unattainable. For example, you cannot clean a room perfectly. As you clean it, it's getting dirty as the dust settles. Any written piece can be polished and improved upon, several times, any time and so on. Striving for perfection creates stress and frustration.

StewRat is my pet name for Her UnRealness. Make no mistake, I wish no ill on her confused, zealotious hustling* self ... I wouldn't have nearly as much fun on here without her.

No doubt you've caught the "Martha's Way vs. My Way" hint list - starts with using a marshmallow to plug ice cream cone hole. I have no idea who pointed out it wasn't all that much trouble to suck out the drips whilst in couch-spud mode. Several other of the dear one's offerings are also addressed. I had to add my two cents ... one of these days the brain-o-dex will flip to where I stashed the file. For now ... cone? why bother - that's wimp city. A proper pig out requires at least three scoops, a brownie, one or two syrups and all the sparklies.

Who takes long enough on a cone for it to drip anyway? Thanks to Joy for catching that oversight.

*Uh oh, StewRat's got her tail in a wringer. Aol had a scandal poll running: 24 percent believe(d) in "goodness" vs. 76 - which I judge to be a fair translation of wannabes vs. real people. I say she's not sorry, she'll only be sorry about being caught. Tsk, tsk - it's about time something stopped that reign of torment. I get thank-you letters from people who were feeling bad about not "doing it all" the "right" way. There ain't no carved-in-stone right way, it's whatever gets you through the day that counts.

Recently spotted an article touting the wisdom of satisfying cravings before they turn into binges. Dang, almost takes away the fun. I shall persevere. Throw in cereal and a little milk, I call that sundae breakfast. Milk does stretch the ice cream ya know.

Back to the dust issue ... normal dust is not a major health hazard. A former boyfriend once proudly announced he had removed about a pound from my TV, to which I replied so sweetly, "Thanks." Had I known then that used dryer sheets are spiffy for that job (or so I hear, computer screens too), I would have offered the enlightenment, along with, "Knock yourself out any ol' time."

One more note concerning attitude adjustment: convenience foods, be they bottles, cans, boxes or jars are not "cheats" - they're much less risk than a from-scratch mess going to waste.

Also, frozen and canned veggies, because they are processed immediately after harvest, do not lose nutrients sitting in trucks and on display the way fresh do.

I haven't seen a decent "live" tomato at the grocery store in years. The good news: processing enhances the whatever-it-is in tomatoes to the max, good for all kinds of health measures. Even catsup counts! Happily, canned tomatoes are the one vegetable (and yes I know tomatoes are actually classified as fruit) I've found where a name brand vs. generic makes no noticeable difference. Really depends how picky you want to be, I don't appreciate stems and such in green beans and corn. Generics are usually the second "cut." The top pick goes out as the name brand. Check a few labels, quite the amazing education. More about shopping below.

This has to be one of the all-time best discoveries ever, and I guarantee it works. Once pasta comes to a boil, let it go for a minute or so - then turn off the heat - don't need a lid. It will be perfectly cooked, without stirring, watching, or otherwise messing with at the recommended time per box instructions. Holds without overcooking too. No kidding, you can get lost on the Web or wherever and still not screw it up or burn down the kitchen.

Haven't tried this - not a bad idea - at least solves the guilt for pouring vitamins down the drain. Save cooking water to add to sauce. The starch binds the sauce, helping it adhere to the noodles, which supposedly it won't if you add a drop of oil or smidge of butter to water to avoid a glued-together mass. I do not recall any noteworthy naked noodle difficulties. Of course, maybe you don't want extra starch at all ... and so you would rinse, there go more vitamins ... noodle that canoodledrum for yourself.

The main difference between pastas and noodles is that most noodles contain egg, or yolks, and most pasta does not. There are egg-ceptions (sorry, had to), and no-yolk noodles are also available.

Most noodles and pastas triple in weight when cooked (4 ounces dry = 12 ounces cooked). One pound dry will usually satisfy 4 - 5 average adult appetites.

Use a wooden spoon to seed melons like cantaloupe and honeydew rather than metal so not to gouge flesh. From Laurie, "By far my favorite method is to use a serrated grapefruit spoon to clean out melons and squash. Works faster and cleaner than anything else I have tried."

Stem fresh parsley, leaving only the leaves. Put them in a glass or deep bowl and snip them with sharp scissors. They won't turn to mush as they do when chopped with a knife or in a food processor.

Collect several pairs of kitchen scissors - once you get in the habit, you'll find all kinds of uses easier than knives. Go at it back-handed right in the jar on stuff like dried beef, or messies like marinated artichoke hearts.

Same idea: poke tuna or crab meat with a fork while still in the can. Drain the juice for critters :) Buster loves his tuna juice and veggie juice. Cheap thrills, we should be so lucky.

Silly break: I am a considerably happier kitchen camper since a friend took pity on me after a recent can-opener trauma report. Old Faithful developed a hitch in its get-along. Between two new replacement cheapies, and OF rallying occasionally, and calling Bub if all else failed, the jobs were getting done - nonetheless, the whole situation was getting past ridiculous. Aussie, that's her name, not location, sent me a wonder to behold:

A red letter day, what can I say? Hurray, hurray for the Swing-a-way ...

Yes, I do need to get out more often - honest to gawd though, that was one fine canned experience. Think the company'd pay a coupla thou for that testimonial?

Queen C.jpg (10195 bytes)

Gave myself that Queen Can-ivore title fair and square, should be worth something.

As soon as this page is finished, an official high five notification is going to the company.

Watch for further developments, the last remaining can opener factory in America is right down the road. Would be a blast to visit - take a few pics to accompany an inside, up close and personal feature. Semi-seriously, in today's world, it is nice to know at least one ordinary part of life will be standing reliably by.

http://www.core77.com/inconspicuous/swingaway.html ~ The Swing-A-Way was invented in 1955. More than four decades later, Al Packer, president, said the firm has sold at least 100 million of model #407. This is all the more impressive when you consider that there's no planned-obsolescence factor - the damn things just never wear out. "We get letters from people who say they've had theirs for 40 years," said Packer. "As long as you treat them well, they're almost indestructible." The product's high quality is rooted in its 40 stainless steel parts.

My word, further searching revealed the Swing-a-Way to be the first can opener in space! Aussie ordered mine from http://www.target.com - found several other sites that carry them too, at various prices. OK, so why don't I use an electric ... well, I suffered a trauma some years ago. Meltdown after stowing it on top of toaster oven. It was a sorry sight. And, one thing I am persnickety about is "the dirtiest inch in the kitchen" - I'd have to pop the thingy off to clean every time. Which reminds me, it's not a bad idea to run cans under hot water for a few seconds before opening.

Spanish or Bermuda and white onions are usually mild in flavor; globe types, such as red, brown and yellow onions are stronger. The crying game varies, mostly I'm sure due to atmospheric and sinus conditions. May have accidentally hit one tack recently while sucking a mint ... chopping along tear-free when a "whoooo-weeeee" came outta Bub.

Then there's draping a paper towel over the nose and securing it under specs. Best not to answer the door like that. Find a few more maybes strewn below.

A little vinegar added when boiling peeled potatoes causes them to form a light crust. Helps hold their shape when combined with other foods - a plus when making potato salad. Gotta try that sometime, except it conflicts with the fact that spuds are much easier to skin once cooked. And if you consider the time savings, doctoring deli- or take-out salads beats all. Most are too over-dressed anyway. Stretch with chopped extras from the salad bar: onions, green pepper and celery, a.k.a. Southern Holy Trinity. Dried forms work too, and a good plop of pickle relish never hurts. Red wine vinegar is an over and above zingy - might get away with trying it on Bubba.

Zingy number next is chutney, on bread - never on Bub - for chicken salad. Chopped hard-boiled are acceptable chickie additions, for tuna, macaroni and potato types too. Easiest eggs from deli/salad bar of course, however, one formula that works for me - if you must ...

Cover eggs in saucepan with cold water. Heat until water boils. Remove from heat, cover, let sit 23 - 25 minutes. Run cold water in the pan. Shell the best you can, always an iffy. Don't worry if yolk edges did turn green, that's more "normal" than not. Find more incredibly fascinating egg facts: http://members.aol.com/AltMartha/eggments.index.html

Eggments is another oldie page. Since then the magic timetable surfaced with my original, first edition ('57), "Betty Crocker's Cookbook for Boys and Girls." How I managed to hang onto it, of all things, is beyond me, or why I had it in the first place. I do recall making a bunch of the stuff. Had to have been for a required cooking class, was not born with a wooden spoon in my mouth or in other words, kitchen-staying-out-of determination started early. LMAO, may very well be I recognized good ol' Betty* at a flea market or garage sale and picked it up for old times' sake. There are some true gems out there - remember Buffy from "Family Affair"? Picked up the, "Use wax paper like a glove," thing from her cookbook. For pressing hot stuff - see Sin-in-a-Pan, http://members.aol.com/AltMartha/trueconfessions.index.html.

*Prepare for shocking news ... Crocker is a crock - born as an ad gimmick. I know, it hurts.

While we're into the shock department, I must warn never to try major experimentation for special occasions. I ruined one guy's Super Bowl by showing up with a German potato salad. It (boil 'em, roll around in a bacon grease, vinegar and onion dressing - don't think about the grease) was good, but it wasn't right.

Deviled eggs are another better-be-the-usual - haven't tried the honey mustard yet, and wouldn't unless I knew the audience to be open-minded. You almost have to have them with spud salad, which is where the whites that peeled raggedy go. The "great" and instructions are as I found them. Whichever timetable, throw in an extra (or two) for testing. Timing also depends on size. Supposedly, the rule for all recipes is large unless otherwise specified.

6 hard boiled eggs (large)
3 tablespoons mayonnaise or salad dressing
1 tablespoon sugar
1 teaspoon mustard (honey mustard is great)!
1 tablespoon vinegar
salt and pepper to taste
paprika (optional)

To boil eggs, place eggs in enough cold water to cover completely, bring to a rolling boil over high heat. Reduce heat to medium boil, cook an additional 12 minutes. Promptly chill eggs so yolks stay bright yellow. Remove shells from eggs, and halve lengthwise with a knife. Carefully remove the yolks, and place in a medium bowl. Mash yolks with a fork, and add remaining ingredients. Very carefully spoon mixture back into the egg white halves. Easier to put the mix in a plastic bag (see pastry bag tip below) and cut off one corner tip to "pipe" in. Garnish with a light sprinkling of paprika (optional).

Tomatoes should not be cooked at a rolling boil because they can turn acidic. For sweet and mellow tomatoes or sauce, simmer slowly ... no additional sugar is needed.

Tame cauliflower, broccoli and cabbage odors with a piece of bread added as water starts to boil. Haven't tried that one, let me know.

Or rub hands together with a slice of lemon or mashed piece of celery or leaves. Take the smell off a cutting board by rubbing celery over the surface. The list goes on, use toothpaste on hands, wipe counters/boards with vinegar ...

Find about a million other uses for uses for vinegar by doing a search, or try http://www.versatilevinegar.org/ - which oddly does not make a big deal about disinfectant qualities. I wouldn't count on anything except hot water to sterilize a cutting board, also wouldn't use a wooden one - yecccch - you couldn't special order a more ideal bacteria breeding ground.

*The stainless deal finally roused my curiosity. Lor-dee, it works. So sayeth TheBub's nose, giving him points for good sportsmanship. While falling into the category of lesser trials than the usual olfactory and digestive subjections, this was one you really had to be here for ... "I need your nose," as the onion-fresh hand zooms in. "Whoa," as the face snaps away. (Marvin the Martian conjures here, "Talk to the hand ... ")

"Be right back!" Ever the diligent researchist, first only rubbed the faucet, no soap, resulting in a no-snap, "Much better," reaction. After the soap, no noticeable difference to report.

Truth told, I do not consider onion/garlic lingers to be a monumental vexation. Fish maybe, but that situation's been taken care of for years: http://members.aol.com/MsAtte2ude/Fish.index.html

Keep rock salt, sand or anything else that will melt snow and ice in plastic milk jugs. Contents will stay dry, easy to apply and handy stored close by doors and in the car.

Use unscented candles at the table. Scented can clash with food aroma.

To free one hand when filling a pastry bag, set upright in a glass/jar, fold the edge over the top.

When washing crystal and china, line sink with a terry cloth towel to guard against chips and scratches.

Never drop knives into the dishwater. Also, don't store in drawers with other utensils - too easy to forget they're there when you're in a hurry. Blood is soooo messy.

When melting chocolate, make sure the bowl (stainless steel or oven-proof) is totally dry. Cut chocolate into small pieces, place bowl over steaming, not boiling water.

The microwave works well for melting chocolate. Use medium power (50 percent) for 40 seconds for one ounce (approximately one minute for 2 oz., two minutes for 4 oz. and three for 8 oz.). Stir at least once halfway through time.

The above is one of the few things nukers are actually good for - others being softening/melting butter, reheating leftovers, defrosting (sometimes) and without a doubt, the only way to cook bacon. They're useless for large cuts of meat and usually more of a pain than it's worth compared to "normal" no matter what their books say. Depending on the state of boredom, scrambled eggs can be somewhat entertaining. Texture tends to be a bit lighter too. Cleaning the stickies out of bowl or measuring cup would be the down side compared to a non-stick fry pan.

Frozen dinner results will vary according to contents, however, the bowls some come in are the perfect dome-size for zapping small portions. One would also assume they're safe as compared to the dire warnings I keep seeing about other plastic containers (like cottage cheese, etc.). I think, repeat think, almost any are safe as keep-the-steam-in/splatter-protection lids if not as the vessel. Be careful with the good stuff - unless it's specifically marked as micro-safe. Rubbermaid and Tupperware meant for storage only are easily damaged, very fast, by wave-generated, super-high temps.

Individual size pudding and fruit cups are handy for quick-warming au jus servings or for instance if only one person likes "exotic" sauce additions on veggies - try a tangy bacon/tomato or Italian salad dressing on green beans - but don't try it on Bubba.

Almost any dressing that proves too strong on salad can still be used as a meat, fish or chicken marinade.

Watch any new dish the first time in micro, not all are marked and may contain metal. A mini light show would be the clue and will likely do damage if allowed to continue.

Closing the air ducts and doors in rooms used mostly for storage and occasionally for guests may reduce heating and cooling costs by up to 20 percent, depending on the proportion of total square footage those rooms comprise. Check with the dealer first to determine whether closing has the potential to harm the system.

Unstick a zipper by rubbing the teeth with a candle, paraffin, light-colored crayon, lip balm, dry bar of soap or a pencil (graphite is the lube). If dresser drawers stick, try soap, or wax on the runners, also squeaky toy wheels, creaky indoor gates ... .

Baking powder - dead or alive? Test by putting a little into a cup of hot water. If it fizzes actively, use it. If not, buy a new box.

Use baby restraint straps in grocery cart to secure your pocketbook by its straps. It is so easy to be distracted. If someone tries to snatch, the purse isn't going anywhere.

Clean a shower curtain the easy way in the washer, with a hefty towel or two thrown in for scrub action. Go light on soap and bleach. Wrinkles will hang out once back on the rod.

Biscuits will be crisp on the outside and flaky in the center if dough is rolled thin, then folded over once before cutting. They'll also split open easily when ready to butter.

For soft-siders, bake in a pan with sides and put the biscuits close together. Place apart on a cookie sheet for crusty.

This was a recent not good idea: To re-heat biscuits, put them in a well-dampened paper bag, twist it closed and put in a 300� oven for several minutes. Problem: Bag could be, probably is, recycled, full of chemicals. Would suggest a tea towel, or maybe paper towel wrap instead.

Check the deli for discount end pieces, meat and cheese - chunk 'em up for salads, sandwiches, soups, etc.

If cucumbers, if they do not agree with you, substitute zucchini in recipes. Zs take on flavor without causing indigestion.

For a change on fried potatoes, try chili or garlic powder, celery salt or the usual seasoned salt and pepper.

Try lots of additions to hash browns ... for at least a year I have been perfecting the ultimate Hash Brown Pizza. Cook HBs whichever way you prefer, starting with raw fresh or from a previously cooked state or frozen or a refrigerated "fresh" form. Pile on the goodies right before potatoes start to brown.

Think whatever sounds good on pizza, or leftovers as handy - meat, cheese, olives, corn, beans, tomatoes, peppers, marinated artichoke hearts ... run the range on spices too. Onions and garlic are, of course, almost mandatory. Moisture content will vary, may need to add canned veggie liquid if using dried spices. V-8 juice, salsa, spaghetti sauce or plain old catsup all contribute to a beautiful browning job.

Same basic idea works on top of hard or soft tortillas or chips, or Italian or French bread. Combo away, but don't expect Bubba to play. Waaaaaay over the top for that palette mind set, "All that ... together?" Oh well, at least the reaction, and show of relief when he realizes that's not his plate, could be called somewhat entertaining.

Use 2� teaspoons of fresh, chopped herbs in place of 1 teaspoon dried - flavor is concentrated in the dehydration process. Use a sharp knife or scissors to avoid bruising the leaves.

Vanilla or cherry, or whichever liking strikes, pipe tobacco makes a pleasant potpourri. Place in a fine mesh bag, or a square of old panty hose, tie with ribbon to hang in closet or car; stash in a jacket pocket, suitcase. Cover in lace for a fancy, denim or canvas for work/sport/play area. After aroma has gone, make a tea to spray on outdoor plants to kill bugs.

Dampen a cloth with alcohol to clean a gunked-up curling iron. Unplug first!

Coffee tips

I don't do coffee. Nevertheless, this is the creature who lives in the morning mirror.

coffee critter.jpg (17820 bytes)

Store coffee fresh in airtight containers in a cool and dry place. Glass is good because it doesn't retain odors or oils from previous usage. Otherwise a plastic zipper bag with the air squeezed out is ideal.

Cut the toe out of old socks and holes for thumbs to wear under gloves and mittens - keeps wrists dryer and warmer.

Hang up wet clothes to add humidity to dry winter air, or boil a big pan of hot water for a while. Add potpourri, citrus peels or cinnamon for a nice smell too.

During a sunny day in winter, open curtains/blinds to help heat your home. At night or on cloudy days, close to help keep heat from escaping.

Spray snow shovel with veggie oil spray to help keep snow from sticking.

Heavy sewing needles will hold up at 20 pounds on a wall - no big hole - practical when changing arrangements frequently.

Vinegar cuts suds in the washer and when added to the last rinse cycle should remove any trace of perspiration or oily residue that may have survived to that point.

The yuck - a.k.a. "mother" - that sometimes forms in cider vinegar doesn't hurt anything, certainly not in the washer. It can be strained out before kitchen use.

New ratio codes on different grades of ground beef make a more accurate label. Ground chuck rarely comes from 100 percent chuck roast. Along with the titles chuck, round or sirloin, a number like 80/20 which means 80 percent lean and 20 fat. Keep in mind that leaner is not always better. Burgers made with 90/10 ground chuck can be dry and flavorless.

If you don't see the specific cut specified for a recipe out on display, ask. It may be packaged under another name, or another cut might even be on sale and could work just as well. Really and truly, the butcher doesn't bite - the best way to get a beef education is admitting you are ignorant. Pork cuts don't seem to vary quite so much. If a package of chops looks good, grab it, go to school another day.

Ask for extra sauce when you order out barbecue, use it later for cheap canned beans.

I've had several copies of the following, most recently from a friend who is an attorney, although he's not the one credited with this piece. I am assuming all info is accurate. What I know first-hand is what a pain the whole mess can be, even when you get your stuff back. Seems like it about two years before questions/verification stopped every time I tried to use a card, even though all numbers had been changed. Hopefully the system has improved in 20 years since. Hard to tell, one of Bub's cards was hacked a year or so ago - it's still causing all kinds of trouble.

Unfortunately I (the author of this piece who happens to be an attorney) have firsthand knowledge, because my wallet was stolen last month and within a week the thieve(s) ordered an expensive monthly cell phone package, applied for a VISA, had a credit line approved to buy a Gateway computer, received a PIN number from DMV to change my driving record information online, and more.

But here's some critical information to limit the damage in case this happens to you or someone you know. As everyone always advises, cancel your credit cards immediately, but the key is having the toll free numbers and your card numbers handy so you know whom to call. Keep those where you can find them easily. File a police report immediately in the jurisdiction where it was stolen, this proves to credit providers you were diligent, and is a first step toward an investigation (if there ever is one).

But here's what is perhaps most important: (I never ever thought to do this): Call the three national credit reporting organizations immediately to place a fraud alert on your name and SS#. I had never heard of doing that until advised by a bank that called to tell me an application for credit was made over the Internet in my name.

The alert means any company that checks your credit knows your information was stolen and they have to contact you by phone to authorize new credit. By the time I was advised to do this, almost two weeks after the theft, all the damage had been done.

There are records of all the credit checks initiated by the thieves' purchases, none of which I knew about before placing the alert. Since then, no additional damage has been done, and the thieves threw my wallet (someone turned it in).

The numbers are (write them on the photocopy of the stuff in your wallet/purse): (accurate as of February 28, 2002)
Equifax: 1-800-525-6285
Experian (formerly TRW): 1-888-397-3742
Trans Union: 1-800-680-7289
Social Security Administration (fraud line): 1-800-269-0271

Incidentally, a freezer is one fireproof place for important, irreplaceable papers. Enclose in zipper bags. Also, to keep you safe from credit card impulse, store them in ice.

Fruit and flowers may be preserved from decay and fading by immersing them in a solution of gum arabic and water two or three times, waiting a sufficient time between each immersion to allow the gum to dry. This process covers the surface of the fruit with a thin coat of gum, which is entirely impervious to the air, thus preventing decay. Hairspray works too.

Sharpen your own scissors by cutting fine grade sandpaper. A few dozen cuts should do it.

Hang bobbins, thread and other notions can be hung on a bulletin board with straight pins.

Use iron-on rug binding on men's trousers to prevent waistband curling.

Use nylon net to brush lint off dark clothing.

If nail polish hardens, try putting it in a pan of boiling water. Supposedly it will loosen and shake smooth again. Sounds feasible, haven't tried it. Now that we've wandered into manicures ... first, don't hate me because I have great nails. Years of work have gone into keeping up the original equipment. You can't neglect them and then expect miracles when you want them looking killer for a special occasion. Remember here, this what I do, pros have their own rules.

Keep filed to an approximate 45 degree angle in line with finger tip. They don't get in the way at that length and there's much less chance of breakage. Smooth out chips and cracks immediately. Use polish at all times, even if you only have time to slap on a coat of clear. Never do dishes, or anything more than minor cleaning without gloves.

Keep cuticles pushed back, do not cut. The opposing nail is the best pusher tool, and only acceptable use for a nail as a tool. Work on cuticles every time you use lotion, ideally after every time you wash your hands - at least in winter.

Nails must be absolutely clean and dry before polishing. I use an old toothbrush - much softer, less damaging than a regular nail brush - and antibacterial liquid soap. Use a paper towel for one last push back and run around the sides too. Air dry for a few seconds by shaking hands with wrists hanging loose - looks ridiculous but it's quite relaxing. Slather up with lotion and do nothing for a minimum of 30 minutes. OK, you can go to the bathroom but you should have thought of that earlier.

Test any new lotion on old manicure - some "melt" polish - most don't, and if lightly dabbed on a new paint job, lotion does tend to speed drying.

Very important ... roll, don't shake polish bottle (shaking causes bubbles) and before closing tightly, use a pinkie to wipe off the rim so cap doesn't stick. No kidding, all it takes for better than average appearance is about an hour a week, no special tools. By keeping at medium length for everyday, you'll always be ready to let them shoot to dazzling for a week or so before a main event.

If hands are overly dry, soap fingers only, obviously depending on what you were doing or getting into next. Sort of the same idea - shampoo just bangs if you don't have time for the whole head. Probably not news flashes there, however, the bangs thing never occurred to me until someone mentioned it during a general beauty bitch session.

Instead of throwing out ripened bananas, freeze in a zipper bag. As they thaw, they become slightly mushier, which makes them easier to add into bread batter.

If spaghetti sauce burns ... put in about a tablespoon of plain peanut butter and stir well. Add as needed until the burnt taste goes away. Haven't tried that one, let me know. The original tipster said you can't taste the peanut butter and it also works in some gravies and soups.

If only the bottom is scorched, change pots, and don't scrape. May still need the PB trick.

It should go without saying I have never burned anything ... oh wait, let me put that another way ... there are very few things I have not managed to burn at some point. "Dinner will be ready when the smoke alarm goes off," fortunately Bub likes crispies. LMAO, a friend tells me, "That's how I know when my roast is the right 'hue,' for brown potatoes, the smoke detector in the stairway goes off, honest."

I haven't bought a head of lettuce since salad mix appeared in bags. Watch dates but once opened, storing "loose" by closing the crisper drawer on the top of the bag seems to add a few days of life.

Poke an egg with a small sewing needle before hard-boiling, and the egg should peel with ease. Hold that needle in place with a magnet refrigerator clip.

Request the large-print edition when a book has a long waiting list at the library.

Capsule medications are easier to swallow if head is tilted down - air inside floats the cap up to the throat inside of bobbing to the front when head is tossed back taking a regular pill.

Gawd, this page is already running long ... good place to take a break. Do be careful about reading too many hints at once. You may begin to feel there must be a better way to boil water. Again, this stuff works for me, or the theory seems practical. I give no guarantee past not using the weirdies like cutting up old shower curtains for placemats - that is disgusting! Cutting old rubber gloves into rubber bands is another story, although I have yet to remember to do so before pitching.

I did just cut up a bunch of T-shirts for a quilt and saved the neck bands and hems. Have found several uses, including tying the washer hose to one of the water handles so the hose, theretofore secure, doesn't jump out of the wall drain. This was a new trick after Bub had to take the washer apart to find a glove that jumped out of the lint basket and dove in between inner and outer tub, ending up in the pump. Screwed up the whole system which was not so great, as used, in the first place. Damn timer has always been off, now I have to hit the exact click on the dial for agitation. It's almost as expensive to replace the timer as buying a new washer, neither being how I want to spend money right now. Stumbling on the dial spot was a complete fluke - and the whole operation is an exercise in excess aggravation - I mention it here as support for those who hate the laundromat as much as I do.

Back to the stretchy T-shirt scraps ... also nice for securing plastic wrap that won't cling to a dish. That's all so far - imagine any other scrap fabric or yarn use like tomato plant ties, pony tail holder, could even be doll skirts. One of the sleeves fits to keep Buster's ears warm - fortunately he's not particular about fashion when it's this cold. OMG, now that brings up more critter clothes. Knit or sweatshirt sleeves and ribbed socks can make pretty dang cute little sweaters. Cut out legs holes and roll a "turtleneck" - could finish off edges too for longer wear.

Wise Words
author unknown

I have my changed my system for labeling homemade freezer meals and leftovers. I used to carefully note exact contents in large clear letters, Meatloaf, Pot Roast, Steak and Vegetables, Chicken and Dumplings, etc.

However, it was very frustrating when I asked my husband what he wanted for dinner - he never asked for any of those things. Now the freezer is stocked with what he really likes, Whatever, Anything, I Don't Know, I Don't Care, Something Good ...

Dinner on the table in 10 minutes: Microwave a frozen dinner like macaroni and cheese or three-bean chili. While it's cooking, saut� mushrooms, chopped onions, peppers, tomatoes, diced lean ham to serve on top. Raw scallions, cilantro and slices of avocados also go nicely.

New packaged assortments of ready-sliced and usually very lean fondue-cut, diced, or thin-sliced beef, pork, turkey, and chicken make quickie stir-fries.

Avoid buying too much. Prewrapped packages often have more fresh vegetables than needed right away. Get smaller amounts and more variety from the salad bar. Frozen broccoli and cauliflower work well in chef-type salads too. Don't cook, they'll thaw by the time lettuce is torn and everything else is assembled.

Use sticky notes to mark interesting recipes in cookbooks, or any reference spot. No more bent pages in library books or losing place.

OK for machine wash doesn't always mean OK in the dryer. It's easy to forget in a rush. Put special cases in a mesh sweater bag. Same for stained items that need inspection before drying.

Fill and close the detergent cup after unloading clean dishes as a built-in reminder.

Mix juice from canned peaches, apricots or pears with melted butter and lemon juice to use as marinade or baste for broiled chicken. Always nuke or otherwise heat marinade to a boil before serving as a sauce.

If that bottle of rosemary has been collecting dust for half a decade, pitch it. However, according to McCormick and Company, herbs and spices last a long time if they're stored in an airtight container away from heat, moisture and light.

Ground spices last 1-3 years; whole spices 4 years; green leafy herbs last 1-3 years; seeds 3-4 and extracts, 4 years.

McCormick recommends refrigeration for spices in the pepper family such as paprika and chili powder, "To help retain color and guard against infestation," particularly in hot, humid climates.

Bugs, such an appetizing thought - spices ain't the only hidey holes either. I still keep sugar, flour and other not-so-frequently used grains in the freezer as space permits, even in Missouri. Way back when in Florida, after opening a brand new box of oatmeal to find a party going on, I wrote a letter to the company while still in full gross-out mode suggesting a better package. Also mentioned I wasn't too thrilled to know previous storage tactics had only protected me from live extra ingredients. The reply assured me that any frozen corpses I may have eaten were of no harm and sorry, there was nothing they could do to prevent invasions. They also enclosed coupons for several free products. The morale: writing letters is good for the blood pressure and budget - however, you still need to check new packages for unauthorized activity.

General Shelf Lives, from The Food Marketing Institute, Washington, DC
Note differing "expert" opinions compared to above and below

Flour unopened: up to 12 months. Opened: 6-8 months.
Whole Wheat Flour unopened: 1 month. Opened: 6-8 months if refrigerated.
Sugar unopened: 2 years. Sugars do not spoil but eventually may change flavor.
Brown sugar unopened: 4 months. (Once opened, it won't harden if frozen.)
Confectioners sugar unopened: 18 months.
Solid shortening unopened: 8 months. Opened: 3 months.
Cocoa unopened: indefinitely. Opened: 1 year.
Whole spices: 2-4 years. Whether or not opened.
Ground spices: 2-3 years. Whether or not opened.
Paprika, red pepper and chili powder: 2 years when kept in refrigerator.
High acid canned items such as fruit juice, tomato soup and things in vinegar unopened: 12-18 months.
Low acid canned items such as soup, meats, gravy and vegetables unopened: 2-5 years.
Honey: 1 year whether or not opened.
Worcestershire sauce: 1 year whether or not opened.
Ground, canned coffee unopened: 2 years. Opened: 2 weeks, if refrigerated.
Instant coffee in jars or tins unopened: 12 months. Opened: 3 months.
Bottled water unopened: 1-2 years. Opened: 3 months.
Pudding mixes unopened: 1 year. Opened: 4 months.
Jams, jellies and preserves unopened: 1 year. Opened: 6 months if refrigerated.
Peanut butter unopened: 6-9 months. Opened: 2-3 months.

Remember, these are guidelines, not as commandments. Cold-storage arrangements affect quality too, all very well and good, if the recommended space happens to available. Stash stuff wherever it fits and don't worry about, "Use at once if thawed," warnings. As long as a few ice crystals are hanging in, OK to refreeze. It's a pretty safe bet any frozen food has passed through a warm breeze somewhere along the line anyway.

According to a major linen manufacturer, fabric softener and dryer sheet residue can make towels less absorbent. Can't say I've noticed any difference. If you like the smell, enjoy.

Try a cupcake pan as a cooling rack. Height combined with spaces allows for better air circulation.

Clarified butter is supposedly, "A necessity for any seafood delight." I don't cook or eat fish, therefore, I don't care. Here ya go for other uses:

Heat two sticks unsalted butter in a small, heavy saucepan over low heat. As the butter warms, it will begin to separate into small amounts of milky liquid at the bottom of the pan and a large quantity of clear liquid, and a bit of foamy white residue at the top. The clear liquid is the clarified butter. Spoon off the residue from the top and discard it. Without aggregating the milk solids (the white liquid) on the bottom, ladle the clear liquid into another container

Can be made ahead of time and stored in the refrigerator. When cooled, the clarified butter will become solid and, contrary to name, milk solids will remain liquid. To use, lift the clarified off the milky part, reheat on low to serve. No doubt a critter would enjoy the leftover treat.

Vitamin C is water-soluble and heat-sensitive. Cooking vegetables for as short a time as possible is nutritionally wise. Have water boiling before adding the vegetables. That makes sense, I think ... I've also seen charts about starting hot or cold depending on above- or below-ground growth. This would be why I stick with canned.

The following suggestions border on too-too, in fact a couple almost sound like you-know-who-do-ness. What the hell, never can tell when a domes-festive bug'll bite. I've set one two or three tables along similar lines. One was a sheet of particle board sitting on custom-height sawhorses, but I digress. Main point is not to worry about "correct" when all your stuff doesn't match. Whose does?

I use a funky old oblong butter dish cover, upside down, for sweetener packets. Perfect functional size, if not chic - still wouldn't look any better in sterling. Likewise, ornate gravy boats are not mandatory, use whatever works. Look for a cool oddball ladle at flea markets, garage sales or on travels. All of the before are invariably good conversation pieces.

Heavy plastic plates do very nicely for bread/roll and butter, salad, relishes or dessert. About the only thing that's truly tacky is using cheap paper with an otherwise formal setting.

Use decorative kitchen towels (colorful stripes/checks, terry/linen) or bandanas in place of formal napkins or placemats for a picnic or casual meal.

Accessorize with napkin rings, ribbon or raffia. Tuck in a fresh herb sprig like rosemary or maybe holly at Christmas if that trips your trigger.

Good quality paper napkins in plenty of attractive colors and patterns are available at party supply stores. Save the cheapies for casual occasions and cocktail parties.

All napkins don't need to match. Use a couple of coordinating colors and alternate them on the table. Also OK to mix plates and glasses. Don't go mish-mash - unless you go all the way with every piece unique. Good excuse for picking up unusual finds.

Napkins and towels have plenty of other uses as well: Line a bread basket filled with warm dinner rolls; drape on a tray where you will stack coffee and tea cups; or fold into quarters and use as a trivet for a serving platter or bowl.

Choose white or clear for basic dishware. Easier to mix, and dress up or down.

Borrow if still short. Whaddya think family and neighbors are for? If short just one place setting, give the guest of honor the "special" mismatched one.

Rent. Party and regular rental centers offer dishes, flatware, and serving pieces.

Answer(s)(?) to a major, make-or-break-your-hosting-rep dilemma, from none other than JW Bubba hisself, editor, The Flamingo Times

I was sittin' around the Possum Waller General Store with the fellows the other day and we started discussing, of all things, Spam or spare-parts meat that has been around for years ... I call it mystery meat. You're never real sure what's in it ... and not sure ya wanna know. But the main topic was, "What kind of wine goes with Spam?"

Now we had about a two-hour talk on that, never really came up with definite anything though. Best I could do was the wine-in-a-box stuff that you get over at Wally World. Then there were the Ripple favorites as well as Boone's Farm, one feller held out for a Boojoolay whatever that is. If you don't know what's in the meat ... maybe stick to wine hidden in a box? Might be best served with a big bottle of chilled RC? Sun Drop? Maybe it goes better with Pepsi? What do y'all think? flamingotimes@yahoo.com

Get it on tape

The dog/cat's acting weird, but when you get to the vet, all's well and you have a hard time describing the worrisome behavior. A camcorder will give the vet a clear view of exactly what's going on - quite helpful to the usual mind-reading abilities called for (think about it). If you don't have a camera, write out in great detail all symptoms - small details that you may not remember in the vet's office may prove important.

Also for kids. Especially with seizure related disorders or odd movements. Mostly in infants and babies under 2. Thanks to Rexanne, Mom of the World, for pointing out the obvious.

More parenting wisdom: www.Rexanne.com - Rex is also the queen of holiday pages and she's just added a brand new birthday section with baby shower tips and links too.

My two cents on showers: The kid is getting enough stuff, wrap something personal for Mom. Anything like a bath and lotion set, pedicure gift certificate, negligee (Dad will appreciate that one too), and for the after-arrival ceremony, champagne with two proper stems.

Jewelry can be cleaned using toothpaste. Use an old, soft toothbrush to get into hard to reach places.

To clean metallic buttons, try rubbing with a cloth moistened with vinegar.

To restring pearls or beads, place them on the sticky side of a piece of scotch tape in the correct order.

Whack a head of lettuce on the counter, core down, to easily remove - it'll twist right out. Hehehe, pretend it's someone you're mad at.

Hold fresh unwashed mushrooms in a brown paper bag instead of plastic. Don't immerse in water, use a paper towel to gently dislodge dirt under running water. Slice just before using or dip in lemon juice to avoid discoloration.

Winter squash is mature when the skin isn't easily pierced with a thumbnail. Soft skin means past peak.

Tear salad greens instead of cutting with a knife to avoid "rust."

Add garlic flavor to salads by rubbing halved cloves around the inside of bowl(s). Bringing you the latest ... a garlic peeler made of a round piece of rubber about the size of a corn tortilla is now available. Fold over clove, then roll back and forth a few times. Accompanying this bulletin, "Those flat round rubber mat jar grippers do the same thing." Before you run right out to acquire one of those marvels, know that a rubber glove works both ways too. Also on bottle tops. Had a helluva time recently with one bottle that was stuck but good until I remembered my handy-dandy lid popper thingy, a close relative of the church key (what we naughty old folks called bottle and v-cut can openers before twist-offs and pop-tops).

Well ... as if all that wasn't excitement enough, due to the fact that I broke the lip on the plastic popper, I have just tested the "talon" on my beloved Swing-A-Way. Had to go on the diagonal to accommodate the wide rim - boy how-dee do, success! Heavens, what else will the day bring? The tester was a jar of pesto that must now become a scrambled egg experiment. Ha, didn't make it that far, yet - had to try in HBs - OMG ...

One last on stubborn lids, Bub told me a belt will work like a wrench if need be (as in he's not around - or sleeping at 3 a.m. - worse than a cop I tell ya). Think I'll put a wrench on the list, which reminds me ... lots of versatile gadgets and tools, not intended for the kitchen, can be found at hardware stores.

Anudder you-heard-it-here-first: A 12-roll TP wrapper is the perfect size newspaper carry-out bag. What? Don't your papers collect in the bathroom?

Dry sneakers fast: Tie laces in a knot at the end. Hold the knot, place shoes inside the door, close door leaving knot hanging outside. Set heat on low. Listen to the quiet, no banging around the drum.

Pre-cook onions, peppers, mushroom, etc. for an omelet and remove from pan. Allow egg to begin to set, then return the goodies. Cheese should be the last filling added, right before folding.

"The juice of one lemon" is approximately equivalent to 2� tablespoons of bottled juice.

What to do with all those small soap slivers? Put them in a cotton sock to use a washcloth. Also great: Wrap in a piece of lace and tie with ribbon. Makes a great loofah and looks adorable on the tub. :-) Thanks again to Rexanne

OK to use notebook paper in an inkjet printer. Holes already punched for collecting patterns and recipes in binders.

As a rule for fish, measure at thickest part - broil 10 minutes for every inch. Baking temperature should be 400 degrees. More: http://members.aol.com/MsAtte2ude/Fish.index.html

Add a little milk while cooking cauliflower to keep it bright white.

Sweeten store-bought mustards with maple syrup, honey, or fruit spread, or add a savory touch with grated horseradish or citrus peel, crushed peppercorns and dried herbs. Refrigerate for at least a few days for flavors to develop before using. Haven't tried, like the idea - one could be quite devious once you develop a signature concoction. Wrap up in homey jars for gifting.

To cook hamburgers in a hurry, poke a hole in the center when shaping. The centers will cook more quickly and when done, the holes will be gone. Meatloaf does better that way too, in a flat dish, round or square. If you forget, you can speed up partially cooked by slicing into quarters and pushing apart.

Add a small amount of water to eggs before scrambling. Steam produced makes for a lighter finished product. Avoid adding milk, it tends to make eggs tough. Melting butter in the pan before adding eggs will help prevent sticking, however, I'd never cook 'em in anything other than a no-stick.

Get Yourself Some Girlfriends ...
author unknown

Young and newly married, I relaxed under a pecan tree on a hot Texas summer day, drinking iced tea and getting to know my new sister-in-law, Estelle. Not much older than I, but already the mother of three, Estelle seemed to me experienced and wise.

"Get yourself some girlfriends," she advised, clinking the ice cubes in her glass. "You are going to need girlfriends. Go places with them, do things with them."

What a funny piece of advice, I thought. Hadn't I just gotten married? Hadn't I just joined the couple-world? I was a married woman, for goodness sake, not a young girl who needed girlfriends. But I listened to this new sister-in-law. I got myself some girlfriends.

As the years tumbled by, one after another, gradually I came to understand that Estelle knew what she was talking about. I remembered that she had said the word "girlfriends" with emphasis. As I went along, I discovered the subtle difference between friends and girlfriends.

You go to work with friends, go to dinner with friends, go to church with friends, belong to clubs with friends. You send friends greeting cards. You need friends in your life; all girlfriends were once only friends. But a girlfriend is different. I offer this praise of girlfriends.

Here is what I know about girlfriends:

Girlfriends don't compete.
Girlfriends bring casseroles and scrub your bathroom when you are sick.
Girlfriends keep your children, and keep your secrets.
Girlfriends give advice when you ask for it. Sometimes you take it, sometimes you don't.
Girlfriends don't always tell you that you're right, but they're always honest.
Girlfriends still love you, even when they don't agree with your choices.
Girlfriends might send you a birthday card, but they might not. It does not matter in the least.
Girlfriends laugh with you and you don't need canned jokes to start the laughter.
Girlfriends don't talk about you behind your back.
Girlfriends pull you out of jams.
Girlfriends don't keep a calendar that lets them know who hosted the other last.
Girlfriends will give a party for your son or daughter when they get married or have a baby in whichever order that comes!
And girlfriends are there for you, in an instant and truly, when the hard times come.
Girlfriends listen when you lose a job or a husband.
Girlfriends listen when your children break your heart.
Girlfriends listen when your parents' minds and bodies fail.

My girlfriends bless my life. Once we were young, with no idea of the incredible joys or the incredible sorrows that lay ahead. Nor did we know how much we would need each other.

I want to tell younger women to take my sister-in-law's advice. Get yourself some girlfriends. You are going to need them.

Dust if you must.
But wouldn't it be better
to paint a picture, or write a letter,
bake a cake, or plant a seed.
Ponder the difference between want and need.

Such spirits are found throughout the world, from Hawaii to Scotland, from Spain to Russia. The ancient Romans honored protective brownie-like spirits called lares and penates. They gave monthly offerings of garlands on the hearth and daily offerings of food. In return, the spirits protected the house and its wealth. Ovid portrayed the lares as similar to dogs - he said both guard the house and are faithful to their masters.

The penates, meanwhile, were depicted in idols made of wax or ivory and placed on special shrines in the house. They were worshipped along with the domestic goddess Vesta and were responsible for the house's food supply and the success of the harvest. The lares and penates also played a wider role in Roman society. The penates publici were the protectors of the Roman state and were worshipped in a state cult.

There was also a public cult of the lares vicinales, or "neighborhood lares." The annual feast of the lares was the Compitalia, celebrated soon after the Winter Solstice, when merrymaking accompanied the performance of theatrical farces. Some elements of the festivals gave rise to later Christmas customs. The Compitalia called for the use of artificial light, and the traditional sacrificial victim was the pig.

Though some Victorian writers claimed that the concepts of household spirits may have spread with the Roman Empire, there is enough evidence to prove that a belief in such spirits evolved independently in places as far apart as China, western Europe, and South America. Folklore tells us house fairies were once a common feature of English domestic life.

In the 12th century, a spirit called Malekin caused a commotion in the Suffolk home of Sir Osborn de Bradwell by discoursing learnedly in Latin on scriptural subjects. In Persia and China, it was the custom to make offerings to the house spirit before entering a dwelling. In northern Europe, it is customary to take bread and salt when visiting a home.

In many parts of the world, blood sacrifices were made to the spirit of the place whenever foundations were laid for a building. Animals or even human victims were buried alive under the cornerstones to provide protective spirits.

Today, house fairies often have a mischievous side and like to play tricks on the human inhabitants of a dwelling. Such pranks might include rattling the fire irons, smashing crockery, hiding objects, or making a mess. House fairies are easily offended. Some object to the presence of a cat or a dog. Most will disappear for good if given a suit of clothes.

The hearth was once the central focus of the home, providing warmth and food. House fairies, such as brownies, may be derived from an ancient belief in gods or spirits that protected the home. The hearth was their means of entrance and egress, their shrine and altar flame.

They often try to gain access to a house in order to warm themselves by it and are angered if they are kept out. Some fairy homes lie beneath human hearths. The hearthstones are their doors.
by Anna Franklin, copyright 2001 (edited here for brevity)

Restaurant Reviewer's Dining-Out Secrets

* Never order fish on Monday - odds are, it was fresh Saturday.

* Best time to make a dinner reservation at a popular restaurant is about six hours before you want to eat. That is when cancellations start coming in.

* Avoid dining out on holidays. Restaurants are so overbooked that they often charge double for the same meals they serve every day.

* Better: Have your special meal the day before or after the holiday.

* Become a regular. The best restaurant is the one at which you are known.

* Go out for lunch. Restaurants that are always full for dinner are often desperate for midday business and may charge half as much then for the same menu items.

* Avoid new restaurants for at least three months - while they work out the kinks.

* Be nice. It's the surest way to get good service.

There will be more, not linked here though. This publishing program, Front Page, cooperates on backgrounds at its own whims. Once this one sticks, with all its doo-das, I won't touch it again. Look for new link: http://www.therealmartha.com/indexgraphiccr/default.htm or, request notification: SendNewPage@aol.com - use for any department, but know there's no guarantee on delivery.

Most of the above have not been used on other pages, or not that I recall or care to swear to. Addict that I am, tips tend to work their way onto whatever page I happen to be building when first found. It's rather like sneaking off for a chocolate fix in the middle of a seven-course meal ... or in ... or something to that tune, no reasonable rationale or hope for ... I do not suffer from insanity, I enjoy it!

Wait, I lie too, new page is: http://www.therealmartha.com/GF2/index.htm - just decided to publish, pasted rough as found. At least it'll be here where it should be. This is the last page I'm ever going to aggravate myself with the background buggies, and I really mean it - not coming back here. Enjoy the typos :) Go ahead and have a lookee at the new, no telling what stage it may be in, or give me a few days to clean up. Lots of links to keep busy with below.

Opinions and ideas, mine and from others, that everyone can use to get involved, make a difference and lighten the load. Find hoax busters, media hype alerts, timely info, controversy, common sense, commiseration, empathy, household tips, easy recipes, critter stuff, variety links, and a little humor along the way.

Feeder's Digest Index
Recipes, graphics credits, awards and variety page (animals, cards, bashers, Skewed Views, Granny Greetings, Bright Spots and more) listings
http://www.therealmartha.com/indexgraphiccr/default.htm

There's a better, ya know, new and improved version of "Green Beast" close to the end of page here: http://www.therealmartha.com/Skewed_Views/index.htm - as well as some very funny stuff from friends, a.k.a. The UnBlonde Sheep™

"Hey there, hi, this is great ... " subject lines do not cut it, spammers do that. Due to at least 10 tons of junk to sort every day - when I don't recognize sender name and subject line is not clearly defined, I delete. Downloads, from anyone, even you my friend, also have to be automatic deletions. Most people don't realize scanners can't catch the latest virus/worms.

Embedded images or copies of doc. files are welcome. Typing in all caps is not. It's extremely irritating and should never be used unless you mean to be screaming, which is even more irritating. I will not read, no matter the subject. If you have a great article or essay you haven't seen everywhere, go ahead and send the first few lines. I will ask you to retype the whole thing if I don't already have it in proper form. BTW, double spaces between sentences, broken lines or any sloppy spacing are also major editing pains. Don't even think about forwarding with << >> marks. If you do not know about copy and paste into a new mail and blind copy courtesy, check http://www.rrudder.com/safe/bcc.html.

Please attach your credit on personal submissions - full name, initials or however you're comfortable. Also let me know if you'd like e-mail addy published for direct contact. Pen names OK too, I'm the only one who needs to know who are if for any reason your own name would cause difficulty.

I do try to answer all mail within 24 hours. If you do not hear from me in two or three days, it's likely the mail was lost - please try again. If you check and find your mail deleted, it could be because you saved me the trouble of opening one of many duplicates by using a clear subject line - thanks.