OMG, it's another one of *those* pages :~]
Cyber who?
Dear [insert screen name here] (if
that is your real name),
I regret to inform you that, under a plan for the periodic removal of unpleasantness from
my life, I must terminate our online affair. This termination takes effect immediately,
but only because I could not make it retroactive. Below, you will find the reasons for
this action:
_____ While our cybersex sessions were, for the most part, competent, your constant use of
"brb gotta pee" took some of the romance out of it.
_____ Your use of the term "the ol' cyber ball and chain" to refer to me has
hurt my feelings.
_____ I've found another lover, one who knows the importance of punctuation.
_____ Certain errors during cyber sessions indicate that you were less than honest:
__ You typed: "I remove
my bra" when you claimed to be a man.
__ You typed: "I enter you" when you claimed to be a woman.
__ You typed your own name at the end.
__ Your supposedly original scenario, it turns out, is simply page 56 of a Jackie
Collins novel.
__ Your repeated references to animals suggest that you are hiding something from
me.
__ Your refusal to cyber until I submitted a recent AIDS test suggests a degree of
paranoia that is, simply put, unhealthy.
__ I finally opened the file with your __ gif __jpg __ police record.
__ Mommy says I need to spend less time on the computer.
__ Your mommy called me and yelled at me because of all the time you're spending on
the computer.
_____ I have established a more
personal relationship with the Lord, and I would like to talk to you in great detail about
what you can do to ensure a place in Heaven when the end of times come. They are closer
than you think.
______ The fact that you BCC all your love letters to me leaves me feeling less than
special. As in cyber cheating.
______ I finally read your profile, and the fact that you are only 14 violates the terms
of my parole.
______ I am entering the witness protection program.
Please understand,______ [screen
name] and/or __ you misbegotten son of a bitch __ Sir/Madam __ Mom/Dad [for use in West
Virginia], that there is nothing personal in this. We've simply grown apart. Any
additional correspondence may be directed to my attorney.
__ Sincerely,
__ Gleefully,
__ I have to go before the warden calls "lights out,"
__ Uh oh, my Real Life mate is coming up the stairs,
__ Good riddance,
[Name or alias]
Thanks Rosey (~.*)
http://roseys.net/roseysezine.htm
Still, it could be worse ...
Can we say mixed emotions?
That's it for now, you know the drill - send 'em if ya got 'em.
Please use a clearly defined subject line, too risky opening unknowns - thanks!
BTW, Buttments, the Three-Quel is almost ready to set
loose, for those uninitiated: http://www.therealmartha.com/buttments/index.htm
- Silly naughties, not vulgar
http://www.therealmartha.com/buttments2/index.htm
- Follow links to more variety pages, or check main index listed below
http://www.therealmartha.com/HappyBday/index.htm
- All-purpose, CYA B-day card
http://www.therealmartha.com/whizlist/index.htm
- International Courtesy Whiz Exchange, the one and only virtual whiz-a-roo! Updated by
Buster, new whizmaster
http://www.therealmartha.com/evolution/index.htm - Evolution animated 'toons - always room for more on the subject
http://www.therealmartha.com/indexgraphiccr/default.htm - Main index, quite a few pages have new stuff, might want to dig around if you haven't been there lately
As always, a sincere
to all who perpetuate my delinquency
And on that subject ... coming soon, Dudley the Menace, who has only managed to live this long because he is sooooo damn cute.
Yes that is a kitchen chair, and table
Dudley is not impervious to the word no, he just ignores it, especially when he's on a mission, like terrorizing the cats - which includes rousting poor Dali, 17-year-old Himalayan, from her nice warm bed. And trying to squeeze back through, unsuccessfully now, Ed's door.
Stay tuned for more, many more, caught-in-the-acts - request* notification: SendNewPage@aol.com, subject line: The Dudley Dose
*Use SendNewPage addy for any department. Unfortunately there's no delivery guarantee, in or out. Best bet is cruising the index every now and then (link above).
