WA TheAnswerpattiflag.jpg (37396 bytes)

Now, more than ever, the Internet must be wielded along with other media to cast bright lights on all who would destroy freedom in the world. Information is the torch of truth and its free flow is the bloodstream of democracy. - Vinton Cerf, inventor of the Internet, September 12th, 2001

WA RD cover.JPG (77851 bytes)

Yep, swiped it, sue me.

Update: I wasn't the only one who appreciated the photo. Go to www.poster.rd.com to order as poster with caption: There's not enough dust to cloud our love for freedom.


Credit* has been applied whenever possible to all material - it's not always available. Omissions or errors will be corrected as soon as possible after notification.

Message to those spewing "mine, mine, all mine" nonsense epistles: Get a life, all the best is available to anyone who cares to look hard enough. Are we two years old? Me attitudes ain't cuttin' it. They're pathetically laughable - who do you think you are? I will not run such links knowingly, please tell me if you find otherwise. Britches have busted after the fact before, no big surprise. Incidentally, unlike the pseudo righteous, I will link (with fair warning) the rude, crude and socially unacceptable. Ordinary profanity pales in comparison to the desecration already witnessed.

Links are getting trickier to stay on top of every day. I'm finding more and more, "Sorry, shut down to excess traffic," notices. Also a lot of donation requests to prevent that from happening by moving to a different server or upping existing limits. Even with a decent capacity under existing domain expense, I may soon find myself in the same over-crowded boat. This effort is #1 priority, however, due to unknown duration and other ongoing/future projects, I am considering* advertising support possibilities. Obtaining non-profit status is a long, tedious process I'd rather avoid. Ads would most likely be tax deductible depending on a variety of factors. I'll be happy to work with anyone, with the understanding that no advertiser will pull any weight regarding content here.

On that same subject ... ads and other sponsorships keep the media running. If - no, make that when - you see something objectionable, tell the show's/publication's powers-who-be that you are going to complain to sponsors and suggest they withdraw their support. That'll get attention. Threatening to cancel a subscription or quit listening/watching makes about as much difference as missing a cockroach squash.


*Credit: see old guy soldiers "editorial" below as an example of how I handle tweaked versions. It is amusing when I see my corrections (grammar, spelling or for brevity) and adaptations going around without credit - certainly not worth a tiz though. I'm the oddball who enjoys editing, even though I know most people never catch the fine points like a simple replacement of who for that when referring to a person. Hey, you can be AR too: http://www.therealmartha.com/editingetc/index.htm


*I'm also thinking about putting the new cookbook on Web pages, at least one sample chapter and the intro. That would tell me which way, for now, to go time-wise. All my recipes are easy, this is the bare bones collection, including tips anyone can use to get by in bachelor-type temporary housing with the kind of equipment usually provided in such arrangements. I have to go with Bubba when work-related classes last more than a week - poor thang, he'd starve. Plus I can think of waaaaaaay better ways to spend the money he'd waste eating out. "Good Goop" as the title is a pretty good hint to basic style. For more info, use subject line: New cookbook, MarthaJones1@aol.com.


Lotsa cool stuff ahead - there's finally been time to cruise now that idiot mail has slacked off. As for mail in general, awareness is one thing, obsessing is ludicrous. Anthrax odds are about as good as hitting the lottery big. Save your energy for constructive activity, trust that every precaution is being taken by those who need to be concerned.

Go to http://www.usps.com/news/2001/press/pr01_1010tips.htm for the answers to: What constitutes a suspicious letter or parcel and what to do if received.

SUSPICIOUS MAIL ALERT Poster

"SUSPICIOUS MAIL ALERT"
 PDF File 18" x 24" (126kb)
 Larger Image JPG (275kb)

Learn more about bioterrorism, bomb threats, emergencies in federal buildings and more.
http://firstgov.gov/featured/usgresponse.html#bioterrorism

Visit the official Department of Defense site: http://www.anthrax.osd.mil/ or the Center for Disease Control:
http://www.cdc.gov/ncidod/dbmd/diseaseinfo/anthrax_g.htm

http://nyc.gov/html/doh/html/cd/wtc1hcp.html New York City Department of Health Responds to the World Trade Center (WTC) Disaster


WA wewillnotfail.gif (44992 bytes)

"The battle is now joined on many fronts. We will not waver, we will not tire, we will not falter and we will not fail. Peace and freedom will prevail." - President George W. Bush

Loved that when I watched him say it. TV Guide (10-20) ran "Facing the Nation" by Michael Bechloss, "... what ... viewers will notice is a leader speaking not from cue cards, but from his gut," finishing up with, "The most effective way to persuade the public is simply to be real." With no apologies to Bechloss, duh! Thanks for pointing it out though, some are still confused.


WA ducky usa.bmp (72826 bytes)

Oddly enough, cynic to the core I am, from the very beginning I've seen silver linings showing up all over - mainly, a lot less BS toleration. About time, everybody's been so worried about hurting anyone's precious feelings, damn few have had the guts to speak the truth, balk at a screw job or do anything about obvious incompetence. In business, anyone can be replaced or downloaded. Those not holding up a fair end will be outta luck first. Straighten out, fly right, tighten up or be gone - dig it, what a concept!

No better time to share this little ditty, from Reader's Digest (my condensed version): After John Carroll's letters and calls to a car dealer about lemon laws brought him no satisfaction, he sent a basket of the fruit with a note, "When I drive my lemon, I'll be thinking of you. Pretty soon, my attorney will too." He reported the dealer asked him shortly after what color he'd like his new car to be. Not to pick on car dealers especially, although most do rightly deserve it, telling it like it is does work. After three supposed transmission fixes, various excuses and pat, pat go away dearies ... I simply drove into a bay, asked for the manager and assured him this time I had no intention of parting with one more dollar, however, I would be picking my car up that evening. Really, that was all there was to it. Not too long after that, the ol' bug developed different ailments so I bought a new car, new dealer natch. Drove it exactly 18 miles and the stick froze. Left it where it sat, walked to a phone and told 'em where to find it, don't bother to cash my check. Next ...

Bottom line, now is not a good time for anyone to be jackin' around. Road rage was bad before, "sharing" rap crap in heavy traffic is liable to bring on new demonstration definitions for boom box. While I won't call the cops the first time some jerk lays on a horn, slams a door or otherwise wakes me at 3 am - real bad idea pushin' that kinda cranky outta bed.


Yesterday my auntie's friend's daughter was on the train travelling from Redfern to North Sydney. A man of Arabic-appearance got off the train and she noticed that he had left his bag behind. She grabbed the bag and ran after him, caught up with him at the top of the stairs and handed him back his bag.

He was extremely grateful and reached into his bag which appeared to contain large bundles of banknotes. He offered her a reward, but she refused. So he looked round, made sure nobody was looking and whispered to her, "I can never repay your kindness, but I will try to with a word of advice for you. Stay away from the HR Cafe."

She was terrified, "Is there going to be an attack?"

"No," he whispered back, "I went there yesterday evening - the food was sh*t and the dessert selection extremely limited."

Gotcha (~.*) ... had to do it. Lil' change from my usual hoax bitching anyway. I did add new hoax sites to my fave links page: http://www.therealmartha.com/Classyfiedlinks/index.htm - Also search engine tips.


WA resolve.bmp (98566 bytes)


Hope you had a chance to see at least part of the Concert for Heroes. It was truly something else. While watching, it was impossible not to think about how incredibly asinine it was of binny boy to pick New York of all places to hit. I've never been there, I do want to visit, briefly, sometime. Too many people to suit me actually, but exactly the kind of people NOT to mess with, no how, no way - on any scale. Unmatched attitude to be admired. Below is a second hand (still wondering why not first hand) set of comments about the letter from a New Yorker on the previous page about that recovery frame of mind.

Our apologies to the Grand Canyon but surely God won't be found there, he is dwelling this moment above the ruins of the World Trade Center. I am glad I serve a God who IS able to be in New York, the Grand Canyon ... and EVERYWHERE at the same time. This remark really diminishes the content ... sorry, but it does.

Our firemen no longer need ladders, for they already stand on pedestals 10 stories high. Surely every American wished they could live in a community like that. And I think they do. I can't help but feel most Americans would come out as troopers if given the same plight. OKC was on a smaller scale, but no less troopers. Do we want to put anyone on a pedestal? Isn't that sort of dangerous? I don't think I'm just being argumentative, but a couple things hit me wrong. And ... NYC will NEVER be the HEARTLAND!!!! Other than that, was pretty good.

Analysis: What in the hell is wrong with you woman? New Yorkers can have God or anybody else they want or need, furthermore, they can call NY the top of the world if that helps too. I left the caps, don't they look stupid? Spelling and grammar OK, had to fix the ... though. (......... irritates me no end, looks like escaping brain cells. It's three dots, no more, no less.) Of course, also had to appropriately colorize. Oh yes, I do have fun.


Questions are being raised about what's happening with donations: "It is estimated that 15,000 children are in need of financial assistance right now, assistance that has been provided by generous Americans, but much of the money remains tied up in red tape." Bill O'Reilly, The O'Reilly Factor. Go get 'em Bill, no excuse acceptable for that. Read transcript: http://www.foxnews.com/story/0,2933,36999,00.html

TheBub brought that to my attention. He actually enjoys the news - making him the official watchdog over this effort. Had a great laugh when I told a friend about our alert system ... "Dog!" First time, I thought he'd finally ODed on BS and was in need of a swift chain choke, which is exactly what the friend thought and she was more than ready to run right over to help. "Dog!" ... meant one of the heroes was on, which is one of the few things that'll make me drop this bone. Find more doggy good news below.


A list of bona fide charities - click through to find out the exact use of the donated funds.
http://www.wtcrelief.info/Charities/Information/pages/relief_orgs.html


Review: The Concert for the Heroes
By John Williamson, October 21, 2001
http://www.ucanhelp.com/rvw-concert_for_nyc.html

WA ucanhelp468x60a.bmp (84294 bytes)

http://www.ucanhelp.com/main.html

Williamson is co-creator of the UCanHelp site. Obviously a man who practices what he preaches, he created the banner below after he noticed my request on a previous page. Find UCanHelp's best choice sites: Noteworthy Efforts and Links

WAR wa-m_jones468x60.bmp (84294 bytes)


Patti, a.k.a. OPattiann, also surprised me, again, with this cool custom job

WA JFKgraphic2.jpg (27375 bytes)

after creating The Whispering Activist Excellence Awards by request. http://www.therealmartha.com/WARAwards/index.htm
Keep the link handy to send when you find great pages. Circulation "elves" are listed along with site winners. I appreciate all the help more than I can say.


The Longest Feelgood Sentence in the World

http://get.to/feelgood  

  Neville receives readers' contributed feelgood words and phrases and adds them to his sentence. He believes words help shape emotions - think we could all expand our feelgood vocabularies.


Freedom is the right to be wrong, not the right to do wrong. Author unknown

Copy of WA flag Bar2patti.jpg (2717 bytes)

An Ode for the Anti-Politically Correct

You cannot bring about prosperity by discouraging thrift.
You cannot strengthen the weak by weakening the strong.
You cannot help the wage earner by pulling down the wage payer.
You cannot further the brotherhood of man by encouraging class hatred.
You cannot help the poor by destroying the rich.
You cannot keep out of trouble by spending more than you earn.
You cannot build character and courage by taking away man's initiative and independence.
You cannot help men permanently by doing for them what they could and should do for themselves.

President Abraham Lincoln

WA icanflag_small.bmp (145190 bytes)


Editor's Note (not me, taken from a list): It may be a truism that during times of crisis or adversity, it's especially hard to have a positive attitude. But that simply underscores the fact that a positive attitude is a cornerstone of living. It is the number-one quality that many managers strive to cultivate personally, as well as seek in potential hires. Business author and consultant Barry Farber offers seven simple but proven tactics for gaining and keeping a positive attitude.

Read something inspiring every day. When you get up in the morning, before you do anything else, spend 15 minutes reading something motivational or enlightening. Do the same thing at night for 15 minutes before you go to bed.

Find a quote that really means something to you, copy it or cut it out, and hang it where you can see it every day. A short quote can take you a million miles.

Take an honest look at the people around you. What kinds of attitudes do they bring to the table? Do they pump you up or bring you down? Everyone is entitled to a bad attitude now and again--but if the people you know are constantly angry, bitter, or scared--it might be time to find yourself a new crowd.

When you're going through a bad time, think about others who have gone through adversity and made it out the other side. Count your blessings, and recall other people who have turned bad attitudes around.

Be selective about the books and magazines you read, the shows and movies you watch, the tapes you listen to. Remember that just as inspiring movies can improve your attitude, too much negative content can have the opposite effect.

Find attitude mentors, people you can call for an infusion of excitement and enthusiasm. These are people who can teach you, often through their own accomplishments, what having a positive attitude can do for you.

Change your focus. Stop thinking about yourself and start thinking about those around you. Mark Twain once said, "If you want to cheer yourself up, cheer up everyone around you." Be of service to others. Help somebody else, with no expectations of getting anything back. Help move someone else's achievements forward, and your attitude will lift itself.

Copyright Barry Farber. Reprinted with permission from The Economics Press, Inc. Farber is president of Farber Training Systems Inc., a sales, management, and motivational training company. www.Zooba.com - Feed Your Brain, e-mail selections


WA militarymom.jpg (9110 bytes)

From a new reader:

We live in Ft. Worth by way of San Antonio. We're both veterans, he was Air Force, I'm Army. I'm also a GI Brat, which explains the different countries part. I now have two boys in the Air Force, one state-side, the other overseas.

I was raised on "America: Love It or Leave It!" When driving on a military installation, and taps began to play, if you were in the car, you got out and saluted in the direction of the base flag and the music; if walking, running, etc., you stopped what you were doing and did the same as above. It really gripes my butt to see My Flag burned or sullied in any way. It gripes my butt to hear people, especially from other countries, talking about how much they dislike our way of life here. Well, if you don't like it, go back to where you came from and stay there!

It gripes my butt to hear young people in Basic training for the military talk about how hard it is and how they wish they had not made that decision and stayed home. Excuse me! I was 30 years old when I did BT, and I had the time of my life. Yes, it was hard work, but you get out of it what you put into it. With every mile marched or run, the only thing that kept me going was the song by Gloria Gaynor, "I Will Survive!"

I've spent 45 years (all my life) in the military in one way or another, and wouldn't have grown up any other way. I love this Country of Ours, and will defend it till the day I start pushin' up daisies. I kissed the ground when I got off the plane from Turkey. I can't imagine living in the same place all of one's life. It's totally beyond my comprehension. Sure, I've missed out having friends for life, but I've other things just as good in life, if not better. And yes, I've made friends in different places, but unfortunately, I've lost track of them over the years. It's time for me to make new friends and put down some roots.

I don't know why I've told all of this unless it was maybe to give some insight as to why I enjoy your pages so much. And I'm doing my part. Although I have two Airmen of my own, I'm adopting other service members. I'm a firm believer in giving our troops all the support they can get, especially when there are those who don't think we should be involved in this war. I hope and pray that my boys will stay where they are, but if they should get called to be in this war, actively, then they too, will have my support, more than ever.

I'm proud of my boys. I'm proud to have grown up the way I did. I'm proud to have served My Country. I'm proud to be an American. God Bless America!

I asked about ID and if OK to use parts of note: "Sign as 'Momma' please. Who knows, there may be other moms out there who feel the same way. By signing it in this way, it not only comes from me, but maybe from them as well."


WA primi freedomring.bmp (109398 bytes)


Yesterday is history.
Tomorrow a mystery.
Today is a gift.
That's why it's called the present!

From Donna's update for http://nycityangels.com/: Send cards of encouragement, little gifts of hope and be there to support the families of this tragedy. I am holding off on a letter and gift campaign until this anthrax thing clears up a bit ... don't think people will be wanting to open mail from strangers at this time.

From what I understand, the US Postal Service will be getting machines to check the mail. When that is in place, I will be calling upon all the Angels who have contacted me, and yes, we will do what was set out to do. Until then, I will be using NYCityAngels to highlight stories of good will. http://www.nycityangels.com/Page2/HealingAngel.htm

Also from Donna, good to copy and keep on file: Please remember to practice safe e-mailing etiquette when you wish to forward, or send a mass e-mail by copying and pasting into a new message. Remember to put your e-mail address in the TO: field and all of your recipients into the BCC: field. If they are not in the BCC field, then their identity is not protected. If you have trouble doing this go to send a blind carbon copy.


WA luv my soldier.bmp (12934 bytes)

The anthrax mess has also screwed up soldier support efforts. From Sarah, AdoptSoldier:

It is with great sadness that I say that I must join the ranks in protecting our soldiers and will no longer send Any Soldier addresses. You will still receive your soldier as I get to your name on the list, however I must ask that all mail to Any Soldier must cease. The post office has said all Any Soldier APOs are being closed and mail will be returned. Please just hang in there until you get your soldier.  

I have learned that it is very true that Saudi and Kuwait areas will not allow religious material or pork. Also, they do not allow cards with cartoon characters or people, specially anything portraying kissing, hugging etc. They find this extremely offensive. Also, if you send magazines, there are no pictures allowed of women "dressed scantily."  Sports Illustrated swimsuit edition is a HUGE no no. No alcohol or pornographic materials (not that you would send but still on the list). Someone also mentioned to me that beef is not permitted in some areas as the cow is considered sacred.  

Make sure you include your return address on everything. Also, the postmark must be from the same area as the return address. Meaning I cannot put my return address (in Florida) on an envelope and then it have a Georgia postmark.  

I have been very busy the last couple of days assigning soldiers (got a batch in and still trying to crank them out.  working my way through the list). Some of you have asked what to write. I would suggest in the first letter maybe telling a little but about yourself, about how you heard about them (some people were submitted by family or platoon members) and maybe about information in your area. 
A lot of the soldiers overseas don't get stateside news much so they like to hear about home. Ask questions! It encourages them to write back. Maybe in your first letter send them a self addressed stamped post card or envelope. Or maybe just a stamp.

Another idea: for your first letter or all of your letters if you choose, how about using a clear envelope. The lady who told me about this said they do it for rubber stamping and you can see the contents of the envelope. Also, you might want to think about sending a post card and letting the soldier know you will be writing them and to look for your letters, so they know what to watch for.

Please understand it does take time for mail to get overseas. Usually about 2-3 weeks so you won't get a response right away. Our military men and women are very busy and may not be able to write back ... please do not let that discourage you!! They need to know we care.

The chat room for AOL is now open for members to use. Here is the link: Friends - AdoptSoldier.

Sarah Phelps, founder Operation AdoptSoldier


NBC has set up an arrangement with four warships in the Indian Ocean to receive e-mails from Americans from around the nation. The ships are the USS John Paul Jones, USS Comstock, USS Antietam and the USS Princeton. Thousands of sailors and Marines aboard those ships say that they would love to hear from the folks back at home. The e-mail address is:
troopsupport@nbc.com 
Not too sure about this one, I wrote several days ago, still no response.


A Battle Prayer

Young Warriors;
Should fate find you on the battlefield,
May your cause be a just one.
May your courage not falter.
May you show mercy to your enemies.
May your efforts bring the blessings of peace.
May you be triumphant and earn victory.
May your sacrifice be always appreciated.
May you endure the conflict unharmed.
Should you be harmed,
May your wounds heal.
Should you perish in the struggle,
May God embrace you and find a
Place for you in his Kingdom.
~Author Unlnown~

WA flag like desktop.gif (9864 bytes)

Colleen of Hillbilly Cornbread is working on a special edition for military prayer requests. Crech43@aol.com subject line: Military prayer request


The Difference

By Colonel Steven Arrington
17th Training Wing vice commander
Goodfellow AFB San Angelo, Texas

Over the years, I've talked a lot about military spouses ... how special they are and the price they pay for freedom too. The funny thing about it, is most military spouses don't consider themselves different from other spouses. They do what they have to do, bound together not by blood or merely friendship, but with a shared spirit whose origin is in the very essence of what love truly is. Is there truly a difference? I think there is. You have to decide for yourself.

Other spouses get married and look forward to building equity in a home and putting down family roots. Military spouses get married and know they'll live in base housing or rent, and their roots must be short so they can be transplanted frequently.

Other spouses decorate a home with flair and personality that will last a lifetime. Military spouses decorate a home with flare tempered with the knowledge that no two base houses have the same size windows or same size rooms. Curtains have to be flexible and multiple sets are a plus. Furniture must fit like puzzle pieces.

Other spouses have living rooms that are immaculate and seldom used. Military spouses have immaculate living room/dining room combos. The coffee table got a scratch or two moving from Germany, but it still looks pretty good.

Other spouses say good-bye to their spouse for a business trip and know they won't see them for a week. They are lonely, but can survive. Military spouses say good-bye to their deploying spouse and know they won't see them for months, or for a remote, a year. They are lonely, but will survive.

Other spouses, when a washer hose blows off, call Maytag and then write a check out for getting the hose reconnected.  Military spouses will cut the water off and fix it themselves.

Other spouses get used to saying "hello" to friends they see all the time. Military spouses get used to saying "good-bye" to friends made the last two years.

Other spouses worry about whether their child will be class president next year. Military spouses worry about whether their child will be accepted in yet another new school next year and whether that school will be the worst in the city ... again.

Other spouses can count on spouse participation in special events ... birthdays, anniversaries, concerts, football games, graduation, and even the birth of a child. Military spouses only count on each other; because they realize that the Flag has to come first if freedom is to survive. It has to be that way.

Other spouses put up yellow ribbons when the troops are imperiled across the globe and take them down when the troops come home. Military spouses wear yellow ribbons around their hearts and they never go away.

Other spouses worry about being late for mom's Thanksgiving dinner. Military spouses worry about getting back from Japan in time for dad's funeral.

And other spouses are touched by the television program showing an elderly lady putting a card down in front of a long, black wall that has names on it. The card simply says, "Happy Birthday, Sweetheart. You would have been 60 today." A military spouse is the lady with the card. And the wall is the Vietnam Memorial.

I would never say military spouses are better or worse than other spouses are. But I will say there is a difference. And I will say that our country asks more of military spouses than is asked of other spouses. And I will say, without hesitation, that military spouses pay just as high a price for freedom as do their active duty husbands or wives. Perhaps the price they pay is even higher. Dying in service to our country isn't near as hard as loving someone who has died in service to our country, and having to live without them. God bless our military spouses for all they freely give.

And God bless America.


WA eagle rat hole.bmp (328374 bytes)


Source for letter above: http://www.ernieshouseofwhoopass.com/home.html newsletter. EHOWA is one of those links I warned you about above. Guys, lots of T & A there. Ladies, if you don't know what T & A means, do not go there. I have not communicated directly with Ernie yet, I do hope the man is not suffering from my neglect. Ernie, I think I'm in love ... gotta respect anyone who doesn't give a rat's what anyone thinks about what he has to say or how. Not that I'd care to witness one of the plans he has for use of a "special purchase flag" in response to something he saw being done with ours - definitely does deserve points for creative thinking.


We'll Fight till the Last 50-year-old!
By Jeff Ackerman, editor and publisher of the Nevada Appeal, October 2, 2001
(The tweaked version follows. I am assuming this is indeed the original ... you do know what assume means ... take the word apart: makes an ass outta u and me. Either way, it's corrected my usual way.)

A couple of weeks ago I indicated that if I could, I'd enlist today and help my country track down those responsible for killing thousands of innocent people in New York City and Washington, D. C. But I'm 50 now and the Armed Forces says I'm too old to track down terrorists. You can't be older than 35 to join the Army.

They've got the whole thing backwards. Instead of sending 18-year-olds off to the fight, they ought to take us old guys. You shouldn't be able to join until you're at least 35 years old. For starters:

Researchers say 18-year-olds think about sex every 10 seconds. Old guys think about sex every 15 seconds, leaving us more than 28,000 additional seconds per day to concentrate on the enemy.

Young guys haven't lived long enough to be cranky and grumpy. A cranky and grumpy soldier is a dangerous soldier. If we can't kill the enemy we'll complain them into submission or surrender: "My back hurts!" "I'm hungry!" "Where's the remote control?"

An 18-year-old hasn't had a legal bottle of beer yet, and you shouldn't go to war until you're at least old enough to legally drink beer. An average old guy, on the other hand, has probably consumed at least 126,000 gallons of beer by the time he's 35, and a jaunt through the desert heat with a backpack on and an M-60 over your shoulder would do wonders for a beer belly.

An 18-year-old doesn't like to get up before 10 a.m. Old guys get up early just to show we can (and to steal the neighbors newspaper). If old guys got captured we couldn't spill the beans because we'd probably forget where we put them. In fact, name, rank and serial number would be a real brainteaser.

If it wasn't for the age barrier, I'd pretty much be able to get into the Army without a hitch. According to the Army Internet site, I'd need to pass an entrance exam (officially called an ASVAB), but the simple questions I saw weren't exactly headache material. For example:

A magnet will attract:
(a) water
(b) a flower
(c) a cloth rag
(d) a nail

I took a wild stab at it and guessed, "nail," knowing they'd probably stick me in some desk job with Army Intelligence.

If 12 workers are needed to run four machines, how many workers are needed to run 20 machines?
(a) 16
(b) 18
(c) 3
(d) 60

Well, let's see now ... three workers per machine times 20 machines ... err ... 60?

Finally, they wanted to know if I had command of the English language, just in case I had to describe an enemy camp from memory.

Now you know where the first questions come from - the "Who Wants to be A Millionaire" game show. Boot Camp would actually be easier for old guys.

We're used to getting screamed and yelled at, and we actually like soft food. We've also developed a deep appreciation for guns and rifles. We like them almost better than naps.

The Army could lighten up on the obstacle course, however. I've been to the desert and didn't see a single 20-foot wall with a rope hanging over the side. I can hear the drill sergeant now, "Get down and give me ... er ... one!"

And the running part seems to be a hell of a waste of good energy. I've never seen anyone outrun a bullet. I'm reminded of the story of the young bull and the old bull standing on a hill looking down at the cows. "Let's run down there and make love to one of those cows," says the young bull. "How about we walk down there and make love to all those cows," replies the old bull.

Patience is something most 18-year-olds simply do not have. For good reason, too. An 18-year-old has the whole world ahead of him. He's still learning to shave. To actually carry on a conversation. To learn that a pierced tongue catches food particles. And that a 200-watt speaker in the back seat of a Honda Accord can rupture an eardrum. All great reasons to keep our sons at home to learn a little more about life before sending them off to a possible death.

Let us old guys track down those dirty, rotten, filthy cowards who attacked our country three weeks ago today. The last thing they'd want to see right now would be a couple of million old guys with attitudes!


Tweaked (some duplication, left intact for your choice of copy): On September 11th I indicated that if I could, I'd enlist again and help my country track down those responsible for killing thousands of innocent people in New York City and Washington, D.C.

But I'm almost 60 now and the Armed Forces says I'm too old to track down terrorists. You can't be older than 35 to join the Army. They've got the whole thing backwards. Instead of sending 18-year-olds off to fight, they ought to take us old guys. You shouldn't be able to join until you're at least 35.

For starters: Researchers say 18-year-olds think about sex every 10 seconds. Old guys only think about sex every 15 seconds, leaving us more than 28,000 additional seconds per day to concentrate on the enemy.

Young guys haven't lived long enough to be cranky and a cranky soldier is a dangerous soldier. If we can't kill the enemy, we'll complain them into submission. "My back hurts!" "I'm hungry!" "Where's the remote control?"

An 18-year-old hasn't had a legal beer yet and you shouldn't go to war until you're at least old enough to legally drink. An average old guy, on the other hand, has consumed 126,000 gallons of beer by the time he's 35 and a jaunt through the desert heat with a backpack and M-60 would do wonders for the beer belly.

An 18-year-old doesn't like to get up before 10 a.m. Old guys get up early just to show we can (and to steal the neighbor's newspaper).

If old guys were captured we couldn't spill the beans because we'd probably forget where we put them. In fact, name, rank and serial number would be a real brain teaser.

Boot camp would actually be easier for old guys. We're used to getting screamed and yelled at and we actually like soft food. We've also developed a deep appreciation for guns and rifles. We like them almost better than naps. The Army could lighten up on the obstacle course, however. I've been to the desert and didn't see a single 20-foot wall with rope hanging over the side. I can hear the drill sergeant now. "Drop down and give me ... er ... one!" And the running part is kind of a waste of energy. I've never seen anyone outrun a bullet.

Patience is something most 18-year-olds simply do not have. For good reason, too. An 18-year-old has the whole world ahead of him. He's still learning to shave. To actually carry on a conversation. To wear pants without the top of the butt crack showing and the boxer shorts sticking out. To learn that a pierced tongue catches food particles. And that a 200-watt speaker in the back seat of a Honda Accord can rupture an eardrum.

All great reasons to keep our sons at home to learn a little more about life before sending them off to a possible death. Let us old guys track down those dirty, rotten cowards who attacked our hearts. The last thing they'd want to see right now is a couple of million old guys with an attitude.


  Or ...

Take all American women who are +/-5 years of menopause. Train us for a few weeks, outfit us with automatic weapons, grenades, gas masks, Prozac, hormones, SPAM, etc. Drop us (parachuted, preferably) across the landscape of Afghanistan, and let us do what comes naturally.

Think about it. Our anger quotient alone, even when doing standard stuff like grocery shopping and paying bills, is formidable enough to make even men in turbans tremble. We have had our children, we would gladly die/suffer to protect them and their future.

We'd like to get away from our husbands, if they haven't left already. And for those of us who are single, the prospect of finding a good man with whom to share life is about as likely as being struck by lightning; therefore, we have nothing to lose. Let us go and fight.

The Taliban hates women. Imagine their terror as we
crawl like ants with hot-flashes, all through their godforsaken terrain. I'm going to write my Congresswoman. You should too. May I add, every woman, no matter what age, suffering from PMS would be eligible to go also. This matter would be taken care of in no time.

Hell hath no fury like a woman POed.


Emergency List

Attributed to Scott Borgioli, Chief Emergency Communication Center officer/incident commander chief radio officer, US Department of Commerce National Weather Service

(Edited for this publication - irrelevant if Borgioli exists or not, it's usable advice.)

As an emergency manager, I have privileged information to current events and those events that may happen in the near future. At this time, I want to take this opportunity to give you some general advice for survival. If a terrorist act hits very close to home, it could incapacitate you. Here are some suggestions to be prepared:

Treat the situation as if it were a major earthquake or other natural disaster.

If terrorism strikes in your state or even region, cellular phone systems will go out due to the overloading of the system and the resultant crash of the network. Also your regular phones may be disrupted and the state of emergency may result in 1/3 of your region's lines being turned off for periods of time so that the system doesn't overload. This is similar to rotating blackouts, only on the phone lines. Develop a plan for your family members so that you can either meet or be assured they will know how to regain contact with you.

Also consider that if family members travel or work in another city, roads may be blocked or unsafe to travel. Arrange for diversions to a friend's house in the city they frequent. Have them stay there until the "all clear" is given. You (and they) will be more assured of their safety. Have backup friends too. Consider you will not be able to communicate with them for at least four to 24 hours - again, at least.

Ensure that you frequently refuel your vehicles and that they are always full with gasoline. Less than a half tank may not get you home if stuck in traffic. Gas stations need electricity to run; they may be ordered to shut down even if there is electricity available.

Always carry cash and lower dollar bills. In a situation with communications failure, no store can process credit card/ATM transactions because these require phone lines. If you don't usually keep cash on you, have $40 in loose bills stashed in the car you use the most.

Keep enough freshly bottled water on hand for one week. Municipal water systems are at risk. One week should be sufficient for trucked water to arrive - the traditional three day supply may not be enough.

Stock enough packaged food for a week. Also, food that requires no cooking, should electric systems fail for a few days.

Prepare a portable emergency kit in a large duffel bag containing the above items, should you need to be evacuated. Essential items also include medicines (one week's supply), toilet paper, toothbrushes and paste, hand sanitizer, water/food, flashlights, portable radios with plenty of batteries, pen and paper, whistle, rope, duct tape, blankets, general toiletries.

Make sure you have the appropriate carriers for your pets and plan for extra water and food for them and store it with emergency duffel bag. Also store leashes/collars. Do not leave pets unattended. In emergency situations, they may become frightened and try to run away. Be mindful of this.

In extreme cases, the Red Cross and local governments utilize amateur radio. NYC's 9-1-1 dispatch center was on the 12th floor of one of the towers. That went down and so did their 9-1-1 system for the whole city. If you evacuate, it is best to go to the Red Cross and have HAM radio pass welfare traffic to your loved ones across the country.

If you are home when a situation occurs, stay there. Do not go out and drive around or wander. Subsequent events can immobilize you away from home, creating undue worry and you may hamper life-saving efforts. Stay off the phone and the Internet. Tying up the phone system obstructs emergency services. Contact one party out of state to contact everyone else to let them know you are okay.

The notion this can't happen here was proved wrong. It can happen anywhere. Report suspicious circumstances to law enforcement immediately. Let them determine the severity of the situation. If government says get out or to watch out for certain places, don't take it lightly. Don't panic. Just be prepared. It is also suggested that you research more for other items like special clothing, good walking shoes and dust masks.


This sux

Adapted from About.com notice (thanks Rod): In a press release announcing the "Yo Mama, Osama!" game, Twistedhumor.com described it as a means to raise charitable contributions for the American Red Cross September 11 Fund. What the press release doesn't describe is how that money is being raised. Presumably, since game play is free, the funds are raised through the advertising being surreptitiously slipped to the user. Officials at Twistedhumor.com did not respond to requests for information.

The online game promises a free cell phone booster to players successful in "taking out" binny boy. What they don't realize is they may be "taking in" an adware Trojan that allegedly monitors Internet usage and feeds pop-up advertising to the user long after the game is over. According to complaints, uninstalling Yo Mama Osama removes the game and leaves the offensive adware.


This'll flatten ya

Sarah was a sign language interpreter for a hearing impaired 7-year-old boy named Travis, in a public elementary school. Children can be cruel at times. They would make fun of his loud and often unintelligible speech, wiggling their fingers at him as they mocked how he communicated.

Travis was obviously frustrated that he was not like the other kids and sometimes he acted out inappropriately. He was in the principal's office a lot and he didn't have any friends. One day, he was giving Sarah a particularly hard time during a lesson and she told him in exasperation, "I would rather teach my friend's dog, Travis. At least he's willing to learn."

Travis was intrigued and started throwing questions at her. "Does she really have a dog named Travis? What kind of dog is he? How old is he? Can I play with him?"

"He's a big black German shepherd and he's the exact same age as you," she replied. Sarah was a little surprised at his interest, since not much appealed to him. He asked many more questions, and Sarah was inspired.

Sarah called me that night and asked if she could teach my dog, Travis, some hand signals. She would then arrange for us to present a humane education program to her class. Her student, Travis, could tell my dog what to do with hand signals and it would be a tremendous boost to his morale.

"That's a great idea!" I said.

So Sarah taught Travis, the student, during the days and Travis, the dog, at night. She told the boy that we would be coming to school and he could help with the presentation because the dog would understand his hand signals. He was very excited, and his behavior and concentration improved dramatically in anticipation.

Finally the day arrived. My dog, Travis, and I were standing in front of the class, and Sarah and her student, Travis, were sitting just off to the side. When the time came, the little boy gave hand signal commands to my dog. The dog seemed to understand how important this was to the boy, and his eyes never wavered from his hands. He was flawless that day, doing everything the boy signaled him to do - come, sit, shake, down, stay, back up, catch and so forth. Travis & Travis were a big hit!

For the first time in his life, Travis was able to dazzle his classmates. He got this impressive big dog to do what he asked without speaking, something the other kids couldn't do. As we left, the kids were crowded around him, eager to learn hand signals as if they were a new secret code.

On this momentous day, a lonely boy communicated with a dog who understood his language and did what he asked without hesitation. But much more importantly, the dog helped all the children see the boy's difference in a way that made him special - turning his disability into an ability to finally make friends.
by Carol Munroe, found in K9WebWorld@aol.com (I highly recommend.)


E-chat tie-in: We are both "aggressive" females, knowing that without a fight, we're sitting ducks for the pacifists of the world who would probably knife us all in the back for an extra pancake on their plate. In my heart, I'm the biggest liberal pacifist there is but when reality strikes, I'm gonna protect my kids and my country with frightening intensity. My article on bullies pretty much speaks volumes about how I feel on this subject: http://www.rexanne.com.cnchost.com/rwr-29.html - Look under "Parenting & Family Topic of the Week."


WA flag rules.bmp (68594 bytes)

Swiped (I am incorrigible) the above from http://www.greenville.k12.sc.us/taylorse/booksfor.htm. "In response to this American tragedy, Books for Broken Hearts was created ... to collect new books for the children of NYC." 

Some mix-up/coincidence brought a request from the Taylors School for the Libby Award, Claws and Paws on the Keyboard, reserved exclusively for critters who do their own typing; offered by Dog's Eye View hosted by Miss Liberty, M.E. (Mutt Extraordinaire). Never know where these things might lead ...

Can't imagine why you'd be interested in The Libby Award - it's for dog and cat pages :) However, you are most welcome to your choice of Awards for your book donation support. Also, I would be interested in running a report to encourage other schools to follow suit.

I have two precious dogs who many of the children have met when they made "guest" appearances. 

Cool, I am ALL in favor of critters in school. One of things I'm pushing is class "adoptions" - just as a local thing/by the class or even whole schools sponsoring K9 teams. The work dogs do in each specialty - search and rescue to bomb, drug detection - is nothing short of awesome. Very valuable lessons in life respect. Most teams are happy to make special visits. If you need help finding one in your area, I may be able to help. In fact I'm going to put out a call next page. You could start by contacting local police K9 unit.

I feel very strongly that every kid needs a dog. If they can't have one of their own, next best is one to dream about. Especially considering the nightmares today. I have a couple of cool dog things for next page, including:

Reading Therapy

Reading to a dog is now being used as a program in some schools and libraries to help children who are having difficulty reading. This program is having notable success with children who were floundering with reading skills and who might otherwise have been academically doomed, or delayed, at a very early age.

Why have children read to dogs? It puts the child on a one-to-one basis with the dog. There is no person standing over the child to correct mispronunciations, or any other error. Instead, there is a nonjudgmental dog giving the child its rapt attention. The child need not worry about errors of any kind. In fact, he can ad lib if he wants. The dog won't know or care. The main thing being accomplished is that the child's confidence and self-esteem are being elevated. Getting words letter perfect can
come later.

~~~
Taking that a step further, what about your dogs doing "interviews"? The kids could ask why they like to visit school, what their favorite treats are and so on ... If it goes well and you publish some of the material, you would be eligible for the Libby award. Kind of a stretch but who's counting :)

In fact, my "girls" were featured in a video made by second graders. A wonderful parent came each week to teach French. The children had the best time asking questions in French/English about the girls. You did give me an idea - the third graders are doing ocean research. Callye and Bridgett, my girls, could appear on their research page to assist with tips. Then the Libby Award could go there.

Dig it, like I said, ya never know! Here's that "call" I mentioned above: I'd be happy to try to coordinate volunteers for school or other group visits. All it takes is a friendly dog. I'll put up a dedicated page if response justifies. Also still looking for K9 soldier info. LibbyK9@aol.com subject line: K9 volunteer info

dogsdivider.jpg (10569 bytes)


http://www.nasar.org/ National Association for Search and Rescue http://dogsinthenews.com/issues/0110/articles/011009a.htm SARs go home - great pics.

From The Scoop newsletter:
Tails from the Front Lines: Ricky the Smallest Dog

http://dogsinthenews.com/issues/0110/articles/011015a.htm

In all the excitement, it may have been easy to overlook this 17-inch dog squeezing through the wreckage of the WTC last month. Here's a dog who's 50 percent heart, 40 percent nose and 10 percent legs.

No effort as dedicated as the month-long canine SAR campaign can be hailed as anything less than triumphant and resoundingly successful. The mettle shown by these dogs and their human-halves has affected the world in a way that should not be underestimated. Big mutts, little mutts, German Shepherds, Black Labs, Yellow Labs, Collies, Rotties, Spaniels - and even a few reports of feisty little Dachshunds - have all reaffirmed the humble honor associated with the old WWII term "dogface".

"He was a great, big guy, and he was just bawling. He was crying like a baby. He couldn't talk, but he mouthed the words: 'Thank you. Thank you - and thank the dog.'" - Louis Wardoup, volunteer, describing how his partner Insee unearthed the hand of a firefighter in front of his FDNY comrades.


Disaster preparation suggestion: Replace your wallet or purse photos to include recent pictures of loved ones and pets. In the event of evacuation, it may be hours or even days before you will be able to return home. Having photos with you will be an asset in locating lost loved ones or pets. Update your organizer or address book phone numbers and keep it with you.

In the event of having to evacuate your home, shelters will not be able to take your pets for health reasons, so part of family preparations should include making arrangements for your pets to have a safe place to go to as well. Think about emergency kits, food, information, medical supplies, and pet carriers. In the event of sudden disaster, making sure your pets can be identified will increase your chances of safe recovery. Here in Canada we have tattooing available through our local vet, free of charge when your pet is spayed or neutered. If this is not available, you might want to put ID tags on their collars. I hope no one will need to use their wallet or purse photos for this purpose, but by doing this we will be able to keep our loved ones close and let it remind us of what really matters. Peggy

When friends are laid-off: Having a husband who has been out of work for several months now, I can speak from our own situation. The fact that you don't have a lot of extra to help but are still willing to help your friends in their time of crisis means more than you'll ever know.

Give a gift certificate to a grocery store. They can be purchased in small amounts and are always helpful. If you can or freeze fruits and vegetables, share with your friends. When stores have buy one, get one free deals, save the free ones and put together a mini food pantry. Give pre-paid phone cards. A gift certificate to a restaurant would be greatly appreciated because chances are they haven't included dinners out in their already tight budgets (friends did this for us and we did so appreciate it). Christmas is fast approaching. If your unemployed friends have young children, consider purchasing gifts for the children. As a parent facing Christmas with a spouse unemployed, my only desire is that my 16-month-old daughter has a good Christmas. That in itself is gift enough for my husband and I. Hope these suggestions help. Don't be afraid you'll embarrass your friends. They will simply be grateful someone cares. Regina

"United We Stand" is a feature containing recollections and suggestions for surviving in turbulent times from Dollar Stretcher newsletter: http://www.stretcher.com - more ideas on how to help friends and neighbors who have experienced a lay-off: http://www.stretcher.com/stories/01/011015a.cfm


http://www.dav.org/news/golden_corral.html - Held near Veterans Day, Military Appreciation Monday is a salute to military heroes by Golden Corral Restaurants across the nation. The restaurants offer hundreds of thousands of veterans free meals.
 

Copy (5) of WA map flag ani.gif (7027 bytes)

Thanks Jill for spotting this! Watch for more and send any goodies you find, with details. Please make sure they're worth the trouble - chintzy deals with ridiculous low availability limits per day thoroughly frost me.


http://www.dav.org/veterans/index.html - Main Disabled American Veterans page, check links - long list.

http://www.katu.com/special/attack/ican_fly_the_flag_screen.asp - (other sizes available) link includes links to inspiring words and more
              
http://alaskajoe.com/links/flags/index.htm - Awesome collection

http://www.jsonline.com/news/attack/sep01/wallpaper.asp - Patriotic screen savers

God Bless America - This is the one everyone kept trying to get to but too many hits shut it down - now has all the bandwidth needed.


I think (mixed 'em up again) the group of links below came from the Komando newsletter - "A free service of The Kim Komando Computer Show, one of the Top 10 Most Listened to Programs in the United States!" http://www.komando.com/ Subscribe now, you won't have to wait for me to post - always has great stuff.

If you spend a lot of time online, you may want to get news delivered to your in-box. To sign up for N.Y. Time's e-mail updates: http://www.nytimes.com/services/email/email.html

CNN's e-mail alerts: http://www.cnn.com/EMAIL

MSNBC's breaking news updates work a bit differently. You download a free application and as news breaks an audible and visual signal alerts you. http://www.msnbc.com/tools/newstools/d/news_alert.asp

  http://www.skepdic.com - the Skeptic's Dictionary
  http://www.vmyths.com - Vmyths guide
  http://www.snopes.com/ulindex.htm - Urban Legends
  http://www.sarc.com - Symantec Security Response 

Kid's Site of the Week
http://bensguide.gpo.gov - Set up with different areas for kids of all different ages as well as parents and teachers, this site hosts a virtual Benjamin Franklin exploring the branches of government in the United States, along with symbols of America, citizenship, presidents and more. There are interactive games too.

Decisions being made now by our government will affect all of us for possibly generations to come. Domestic security, privacy and the economy are just a few of the major issues under debate. If you feel strongly about the course of America's future, now is the time to let your voice be heard.

To contact your Congressional representative, go to:
     http://www.house.gov/writerep
To contact your State Senator, go to:
     http://www.senate.gov/contacting/index_by_state.cfm

Letter from an Astronaut
http://spaceflight.nasa.gov/station/crew/exp3/culbertsonletter.html
Get a very unique perspective on the events of September 11th. This page is a letter from an astronaut on board the International Space Station who witnessed the destruction unfold from space.

From site: The flags carried into orbit as part of the "Flags for Heroes and Families" effort will be returned to Earth at the end of STS-108, mounted on specially designed memorial certificates, and presented to the survivors and families of the victims in New York and the Pentagon, and to the families of the heroes killed aboard United Airlines flight 93, which crashed in Pennsylvania.

As part of this NASA-sponsored effort, nearly 6,000 American flags will be carried into orbit aboard Endeavour. The mission, known as STS-108, is currently scheduled for liftoff from NASA's Kennedy Space Center in Florida Nov. 29.

Did you know that you can get an American flag that has actually been flown over the U.S. Capitol building? Flags are available in either cotton or nylon, and you can even request that your flag be flown on a specific date - it'll even come to you with a certificate showing when it was flown.

For details on how to get your own flag, check out: http://www.pueblo.gsa.gov/call/us_flag.htm - includes other Federal Consumer Information Center links,
and America Responds to Terrorism: http://www.firstgov.gov/featured/usgresponse.html

Protect Yourself and Your Country

  Report Leads and Clues
  Precautions Regarding Bioterrorism
  Precautions Regarding Potential Bomb Threats
  Federal Protective Service For Emergencies in Federal Buildings
  Corporate Security Professionals
  Law Enforcement Forensic Tool
  Beware of Scams and Fraud
  Report Civil Rights Violations
  Invest in America
  Work for the U.S.A.
  Fly the American Flag
http://www.usflag.org - printable images, links and flag info

Also see: What You Can Do for Victims and their Families, Victims Benefits and Assistance

FCIC has put together a list of publications to help you and your family during this difficult time. Coping with Crisis.


www.libertyunites.org - By putting a LibertyUnites.org banner on your Web site, you can help ensure that all of the rescue and relief efforts get the funding they critically need.

Patriotic Crafts

http://www.makingfriends.com/Patriotic.htm - other ideas online including friendship bracelets and pins (just make them in red, white and blue) and more angel crafts. If you know a child or children in crises or live in the area and can help with distribution please email terri@makingfriends.com.

http://family.go.com/crafts/ - lot of pop ups - neat stuff though


If you have a beautiful fall wreath, you can easily convert it to a Halloween wreath for the month of October by attaching a few simple Halloween symbols such as a ghost, a bat, or a witch. One easy way to attach these items is to use floral wire. Once Halloween is past just remove these items and your wreath is still perfect through to Thanksgiving.


Display your clock in military time by going to Start>>Settings>>Control Panel and double click the Regional Settings icon. Click the Time tab under Time Style, click HH:mm:ss and select OK.


http://army-technology.com/projects/index.html - Learn more about the firepower being used in Operation Enduring Freedom. There are descriptions and amazing graphics of the weapons and vehicles used.

A lot of reservists and guardsmen are being called up which can create a real financial burden for people used to higher civilian salaries. There is help. For example, creditors, once they are notified can only charge you a maximum of 6% interest? That goes for mortgages, car loans and credit card debt. Some employers will make up the difference in salary, or at least let you keep benefits while you are on active duty also. If your company doesn't have this policy, suggest it, whether you would be affected or not. HSLDA is also starting a fund to help those struggling financial in this situation; for more info, go to http://www.hslda.org.

For more information on benefits reservists/guardsmen are entitled to: http://www.defenselink.mil/specials/Relief_Act/

http://www.themilitaryteam.com/military_links.html - Long list of military links provided by The Military Team, a real estate relocation service

http://www.paratroopers.org/wwtgraphics.htm - Humorous/patriotic photos, graphics, cartoons, sounds, videos, links and games

http://www.173rdairborne.com/menu.htm - Dedicated to Sky Soldiers

http://www.texianlady.com/TexianLadys4/going_off_to_war.htm - Going off to War, includes links

http://www.ishaah.com/America0911_05.htm - Response to Attack on America, includes links

WA flag purp ribbon.gif (15136 bytes)

Remember yellow ribbons? Purple was suggested for two reasons:

http://www.ishaah.com/Backgrounds5.htm - Patriotics

http://geckocountry.com/milgraphics.htm - Doc's Military and Patriotic Graphics, links


Organized home? Is this possible? Usually the experts offer about 10,000 ways to lose your mind trying to accomplish such a goal - this would be because they have never actually bothered to put their own teachings into practice. However, even though www.OrganizedHome.com exists to sell books on the subject, there are plenty of free, real working tips to try. Even printable forms if that's your cuppa tea. You will also find simple family favorite recipes - intended for freezer planned cooking, but all are perfectly adaptable to one time portions. It's entirely possible after hitting on a few dishes everyone likes, you might find yourself thinking the cook once for multiple stashing idea might not be so bad after all. In some cases, instructions are only assemble ahead. The whole site has a nice, "OK, here's the ideal way to do this or that, but we know how life really is," feel. In other words, use the suggestions that sound doable, the others will still be there if you get around to them. My "foodie" editorial for Rexanne's Web Review - it's a good 'un even if you don't have any two-legged critters - always entertaining and informative, quite often controversial.

http://www.rexanne.com "Parenting, Holidays, Humor, Family, Fun!"
http://www.rexanne.com/rwr-archives.html "Web Sites and Insights"

In reality, what it takes to get me organized is a raging case of hormones ...

Here's a newsletter Rexanne recommends: http://www.instamom.com/ Very similar idea to your cookbook basics for college kids. Check it out. Very clean style. Excellent, short, with great tips and a fantastic format.  


Copy of piggies 3 yellow.jpg (6509 bytes)

Easy Piggers

Pork Tenderloin in Celery Gravy

1 whole pork tenderloin (1-2 pounds)
pepper to taste
1 tin cream of celery soup

Rub tenderloin, all over, with pepper. Place in crockpot. Pour tin of cream of celery soup over all. Cook on low for 6-7 hours (longer is no problem as it won't overcook). Since pork can be dry, don't lift the lid until you serve. You want to keep all of the moisture in. Serve with vegetables; mashed potatoes or rice are good with the gravy.

From Alice Sue who lives in Canada where cans are called tins. Or it may be because she's a Brit, can't remember ... More of her goodies and the funnies I promised two pages ago will be included as soon as possible. The one above reminded me of ye olde spuds and chops: http://members.aol.com/AltMartha/SpudswithChops.index.html

Sue also mentioned crushed pineapple for dessert. We've been piggin' on pineapple with fresh apples chunks - those two just scream for pork.

Not a LTFer (less than five ingredients - my thang) but as close as D**** is to swearing!

Chicken in a Crockpot  (How I (Sue) LOVE that appliance!)

Enough chicken pieces (breasts and/or thighs work best) to feed your family
2 chicken bouillon cubes (or two packets of powder) mixed with 1/2 cup very hot water
1/4 cup brown sugar
1/4 cup vinegar (I used apple cider vinegar)
1 Tbsp. soy sauce
1/2 cup ketchup
some sliced onion (or dried flakes) to taste
salt and pepper to taste

Place chicken pieces in crockpot. Sprinkle with salt and pepper and top with as much onion as you like. Combine rest of ingredients in a measuring cup until bouillon dissolves and well mixed. Pour liquid over chicken and onions. Cook on low for 6 to 8 hours. Great served with mashed potatoes or on buns like sloppy sandwiches.

LOL on the LTF note, "staples" (s & p, ketchup, butter etc.) and whatever else is usually around the house doesn't count. Good one BTW, I do close to the same thing in a baking dish for wings: Brown sugar, soy sauce, ginger and garlic (which of course is basically the same as any old teriyaki marinade). Sugar makes a gooder glaze :) These are great at parties - everybody gets a big whoopee running 'em over a teeny hibachi with Sterno flame - like in Oriental restaurants.


Tailgate recipes from TigersRecipes4U

Mexican Cream Cheese Roll Ups

1 8 ounce package cream cheese, softened
1/3 cup mayonnaise
1 4.25 ounce can chopped olives, drained
6 green onions, washed, trimmed, finely chopped, including green tops
several large soft flour tortillas
your favorite salsa

Mix cream cheese and mayonnaise until well blended. Stir in olives and onions. Spread a thin layer of cream cheese mixture over each tortilla, leaving a 1/2 inch border around the edge with no filling. Roll tortilla up and wrap in plastic wrap. Continue in same manner until all filling has been used. Refrigerate several hours or until firm. Cut into 1 1/2 inch slices and serve with your favorite salsa, if desired. Makes 6-8 servings.

Ham Wraps     

1 pound sliced ham
8 oz. cream cheese
4 oz. sour cream
1/4 cup minced onion
2 tablespoons minced chives
1 teaspoon garlic powder

Blend all ingredients together, except ham. Spread mix on ham slices and roll up, securing with toothpicks, cut in thirds for easier serving. Chill for 30 minutes or longer, if possible.

H Boo for choc.jpg (15012 bytes)

Halloween Salad
OOOpsie ... forgot where I swiped this

6 full-sized Snickers or other fave candy bars, cut into small pieces, or 18-20 snack size (trick or treat size) mini candy bars
6 apples, cored and cut into bite-sized pieces
1 small container whipped topping
1 small box of instant vanilla pudding (do not prepare)

Mix dry pudding into whipped topping thoroughly. Add Snicker and apple pieces to whipped topping/pudding mixture. Chill. MMMMMMMMMMMMMyummy.


Food Comfort in Stressful Times
By Janice Krouskop

Stress often triggers eating. Several folks have commented that since Sept. 11 they have been craving "comfort foods." Since "comfort foods" aren't typically carrot sticks or a tall glass of orange juice, but high-fat or high-sugar treats, a steady diet of "comfort foods" can be a problem. If your appetite for gooey treats or fatty foods has increased over the past few weeks, here are some ideas to help soothe yourself in a healthier way.

Rather than reach for food; call a friend, take a walk, listen to quiet music or play with the dog.

If you still need to munch, try eating comfort foods in smaller portions that won't bulge your belt. buy a very small bag of Doritos, a small scoop of ice cream, a miniature chocolate bar, or one small cookie at the bakery.

Incorporate your "comfort foods" into a meal. Many people tell me their favorite comfort foods are mashed potatoes, fried chicken, macaroni and cheese, or chicken noodle soup. I suspect these foods bring back childhood memories of love and security. Why not create one comfort meal this week with childhood favorites?

For chocolate cravers, try a cup of hot cocoa made with skim milk or a small package of chocolate covered raisins. Bake a batch of chocolate chip cookies; package the cookies 2 at a time into small plas