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KIA soldiers' spouses left behind without decent benefits Thought you'd heard it all about our government's inexcusable and disgraceful failure to live up to promises made to our service members? You know, the people who maintain our freedom and make that government possible. The following is outrageous and way beyond sickening. Submissions and info links will be updated as fast as I can, check back often.
Many of my comments might strike some as
heresy coming from my usually-proud-American stance. Good, every word was
chosen with great care. Above all, I value my rights and multiple
opportunities for public expression.
Without the brave, we would not live in the home of the free.
The issues below are sitting in a pot that must be
stirred. And watched more than diligently,
before it boils over and burns everyone involved.
Anyone who could contribute and does not,
loses their right to complain. Eventually, so could we all and that
won't be all we'll lose.
From Joyce Lindsey, wife of SSG Nathaniel Brad Lindsey, KIA 9/9/06,
Shajoy, Afghanistan:
Since my husband's death I have realized many of the
things he and I counted on, should he be killed, are not as we
expected. One of these injustices is his military retirement. My husband
was under the impression that it would be given to me, in full. That is
not true.
Widows of our soldiers are only entitled to 55 percent
until they either remarry under the age of 57, or die. However, if their
husband is KIA they receive a death benefit payment called DIC. Their
husbands' retirement is reduced dollar for dollar from the death benefit
payment. In my case, I receive nothing from my husband's retirement
because he was KIA. The DIC is a payment given to widows to replace the
loss of income. This payment is $1,067 across the board no matter how
many years of service the soldier has. I can assure you my husband
earned much more when he was alive. Basically I am being paid for
losing my husband but then being told that I am no longer entitled to
his retirement which he paid for through his years of service. I also
served, supporting him through three wars or conflicts and six
deployments.
I was given the option of waiving my rights to his
retirement and giving it instead to my children, which I have
done. Since it was a situation of giving it to them or getting nothing,
what choice did I have? However, my children will only receive it until
they are 18 years old or 22 if in college, which means for us 9 - 13
years. I am only 46 years old, most of my husband's retirement will
never be paid to anyone.
Bills before Congress (HR 1927 [companion bill to S 935])
will abolish this offset, allowing all widow(er)s of service members to
receive their spouses' retirement even if they are receiving DIC
payments. Please support this bill. Those left behind have already lost
so much, should we also be penalized because our husbands were KIA?
Your ZIP code will take you to e-mail addresses for our President and all your reps, a choice of issues and prepared messages for each. You can also add your own words. Couldn't be easier and only takes a few minutes. If you prefer to send only your own composition go to http://www.visi.com/juan/congress/ which also offers a request for response option. Links to each rep's site are also included. Scroll down past input section for a sample of prepared e-mail text available and sent through the Military Officers Assn. of America: http://www.moaa.org/ At this point it's getting hard to keep track of links (which ones I've already used) and various options. All the better for keeping up the bombardment. Just start clicking around and let fly. From a Gold Star Wives member:
The bill on the Senate side that focuses on the SBP/DIC
offset issue is S 935. The House companion bill to S 935 is HR
1927. The other House bill that attempts to end the SBP/DIC
offset is HR 1589. It's important that all of us are working
towards having our Senators/Reps co-sponsoring the above three
bills. We need to educate them.
Currently S 935, HR 1927, and HR 1589 are under Key Bills in
Congress The bill number can also be entered at the very bottom
of the page too. http://capwiz.
My first reply to Joyce: I am shocked, but sorry to say, not surprised. Mike, Air Force in Vietnam and Desert Storm, is still going around with the VA about disability benefits. At every "wrong" turn, he's reminded of those famous last words upon enlistment, "Don't worry about a thing, we'll take care of you." He's spent thousands having himself patched up. Simply could not put up with the pain any longer and he's still not properly reconstructed, or completely out of distress. Makes me furious every time I hear about anyone in similar positions. Yep, Uncle Sam sure does take care, as in here's how we "take care" of nuisances, dead or alive. Beat down the little peopleTo all: I'll do my best to make this page pack a workable punch. Your participation is required. I would be astonished to learn of even one legislator's family member serving in a life-threatening capacity. And then name one politician of any kind whose financial future is anything to worry about. Mere thousands of dollars are chicken feed when they're hauling in millions. Back to Joyce, after I asked her to elaborate:
I supported my husband's service to this country and believed in what he
was doing. My children and I endured six separations from him. Many of
our military families and their children suffer from a form of PTSD from
these deployments. The stress caused to our marriage and
the relationships between Brad and his children, dealing with his
recovery from PTSD (post-traumatic stress disorder) from the Iraq war,
constantly worrying that I would lose him, and surviving the emotional
depression each separation caused to me and my children was hard enough.
The worst thing that can happen to a military spouse took place
when I answered the door to two men in uniform, my husband's
commanding officer and a chaplain. We were good friends with his
commander and his wife, so she was also with them. Anyone who has to
go through being told their spouse was KIA and then have to tell
their children and his family certainly is entitled to their
retirement in my book. Here is my journal entry a few months later
recounting these events:
Sept. 9, 2006 you were killed in Afghanistan when your convoy came
upon a false checkpoint run by the Taliban and was ambushed. From
what I have been told you were returning fire when your Humvee was
struck by what I found out later was an IED. You were hit from
behind and killed instantly. It now seems very strange that I was
notified of your death within a few hours, however with difference
in time zones it really was almost a day. I had worked that day at
the bank as I did every Saturday. I had to take Trevor,
SSG Mark
McShane's son,
home as he had baby-sat Michelle for me. I'd been stuck without a
sitter that day. On my way back from Trevor's I called Nora Stuckey
just to check in. She said she would call me later as she was going
out to meet Col. Stuckey and not able to talk. She asked if I would
be home and I told her sure, call anytime. I went home and cleaned
the house, the whole downstairs, which is unusual. I am more of a do
a little each day than everything all at once. I was satisfied that
the house looked so good and was relaxing on the couch when there
was a knock at the door. I opened the door to see Col. Stuckey, his
wife Nora and another soldier I recognized but did not put together
who it was at the time. I was thrilled to see them, thinking they
had decided to drop by for a visit. Then I saw the look in Nora's
eyes, bloodshot from crying and the pain in her face. I knew
instantly something was wrong. I looked to Dave for reassurance but
was met with more bloodshot eyes and trembling lips. I knew
instantly what had happened but didn't dare to believe it. Col.
Stuckey said, "Joyce I'm sorry, it's Brad. It's not good. "His lips
quivered with each word. From that moment on is a blur of emotions,
darkness and sounds that don't go together. I remember stepping
backwards, putting my face in my hands and saying, "No." Then Col.
Stuckey's arms were around me and I heard someone sobbing, later
realizing that it was me. My mind spun, I was thinking about
everything and nothing all at the same time. I did an accounting of
the insurance policies and what I could pay off and how I was going
to survive without you. I thought of Michelle being raised without
you and how I was going to manage that and how unfair it was for
her. I also had a sense of relief that I did not have to worry about
you anymore, no more deployments, no more hearing, "I have to leave
you again," which surprised me and would later cause me some serious
guilt feelings. Then came an overwhelming sense that I had to do
something, but what?
I must have said out loud, "What do I do first?" because Nora said," Why don't we sit down." We sat on the couch. I asked what happened, Col. Stuckey told me what he could, but details were sketchy at best. Nora held my hand and I sat there in complete shock. Michelle was in her room playing, the boys were out working and with friends. We talked for a while about what I can hardly remember. Then Michelle came downstairs and I had to do the hardest thing I have ever had to do in my life. How do you tell your 8-year-old her dad is dead? I held her and tried to spare her using soft words. I told her you had been hurt and would not be coming home. She knew in a flash, she has always been a bright child. She screamed, "You mean my daddy is dead." I said yes. She screamed, "I don't want him to be dead." I said, "I know, neither do I." We held each other and cried. There was not a dry eye in the room. Your daughter had managed to reduce two seasoned officers to tears. Once we were both somewhat composed it came time to let the rest of the children know. Each one responded differently. Marc grew angry and walked out of the house, Brandon collapsed in my arms, sobbing and kicking and Kailina, I had to tell over the phone after telling her husband so he could console her. She sobbed uncontrollably and then got off the phone. I also had to tell your parents who took the news equally as hard. Col. Stuckey went through the process with me, advising me of what a casualty assistance officer is and that they would be here to help me through everything.
This was the worst experience in my life. Then to be told that I am
not entitled to his retirement because I receive a payment for him
being KIA is a slap in my face. I feel like I served right beside my
husband for the past 17 years and earned his retirement just as much
as he did.
Even though Joyce's last line is about money, money is not what it's all about. Respect needs to be pounded into the numb skulls of officials who have the power to make changes. For opening her soul to all, every American owes Joyce their maximum support, as we do every other service family. I can't even come close to imagining that depth of anguish. Brad is "my" first casualty, this wartime. So far, just one old (high school) friend's son was involved and he's back safe at home now. Many 'net friends still have loved ones in service. Of those friends, I've only met two in person. Doesn't matter, I take their worries to heart all the same. And each takes me back to organizing my girlfriends into pen pals for my brother's platoon guys in Vietnam. We all had a great time with our silly flirting. Fortunately none of them died, although one developed a stress problem - something like shell shock, can't recall what the proper term was/is - and we all took that very personally. I don't think the war was serious, or real, to any of us at home until one's brother was killed.Fast forward to recent past, I received a note from a woman asking if the Sgt. Lindsey in Joyce's poem (find Freedom isn't Cheap link near end of this page) was the same Sgt. Lindsey her husband knew. Evidently while looking for info on Brad, she found the poem link. Her husband had told her about the ambush and how brave Brad had been. I don't recall if she meant that specific incident or always (what a good example he was, leadership qualities, someone admired by all).
Told her I didn't think so, but I'd check with Joyce. Privately, I
thought, NO, couldn't be him. Not with all the good he was doing and
last I'd heard he was fine.
After all the communication with Joyce, I almost felt like she and Brad were family. I've had respect and a soft spot for the military for as long as I can remember - my soldiers, on my pages, are extra special. Stand up for yourself because your country won't automatically do it
for you. Just sign me: A FED. More appalling facts: I am the surviving spouse of Command Sergeant Major James D. Blankenbecler, killed in Samarra, Iraq October 1 2003. My husband served in the United States Army for almost 21 years. We had just arrived to Fort Hood Texas in August of 2003 and were still in the process of establishing our household when he had to leave. He was with us for about a month and left to Iraq September 10. He was in Kuwait for three days and in Iraq for only 18 days when he was killed by an RPG missile. At that time, I was given a $6,000 check for a death gratuity and a thank you for his Ultimate Sacrifice for this country and was informed that I had 90 days to be able to stay on post but could extend another 90 days with permission but then had to pay his BAH (Basic Housing Allowance). I was given six months of his BAH at the time of death but had to return it and pay rent for any time after the 90 days. I found out that I would not receive the full amount of my husband's retirement (SBP) because I would be receiving a benefit from the VA called DIC (dependency indemnity compensation) which is given to every widow to help compensate for the loss of income. However, this benefit deducts dollar for dollar from my husband's SBP (retirement) which is paid by the DoD (Department of Defense) and I get to keep the leftover, if any. Right now the DIC payment is $1067 a month which gets deducted from his time in service benefit of almost 21 years in service which for me should have been $1,543 a month. This would be a grand total of the DIC benefit of $1,067 and the SBP benefit (55 percent of my husband's retirement, based on his last three pay periods of basic pay) from the DoD of $1,543. That would be a monthly amount of $2,610. However, since we have this unfair SBP/DIC dollar for dollar offset, the VA benefit deducts $1,067 from my husband's retirement and I get the leftover $476, which by the way, this amount is taxable. This $476 a month represents almost 21 years of military service. I receive $1,067.00 from VA and 476 from the DoD for the grand total of $1,543 a month. My husband is STILL paying, even being dead, for my survivors benefit, from his very own hard earned, time in service retirement!!! I am trying to live on $1,543 a month. No other government job has this unfair offset of benefits. Any widow from a government job, receives both benefits. It is ONLY the military widow who has this unfair offset and it is called the WIDOWS TAX. I was already 46 years of age when he was killed and we were in the planning stages of retirement. I am now 50. I have one daughter still living at home, she is now 17. We were told we had three years of medical benefits, including the children and then we would be put on retirement status and had to then pay medical premiums, just like the retirees. MY HUSBAND DID NOT RETIRE. HE WAS KILLED WHILE ON ACTIVE DUTY FIGHTING FOR THIS COUNTRY. I also found out later that ONLY WIDOWS and their families are exempt form flying Space A travel, also know as a MAC flight. Not that I would ever fly a MAC flight but it's the principle of it. Active Duty and their families could use this. Retirees and their families could use this. For most everything, the widows of war are kicked to the curb. Widows from previous wars, over 30 years ago, are still fighting our government for fair benefits. And the list goes on and on, the slaps in the face continue. It is a complete fallacy and injustice of information for the general public to think all of the surviving families received the SGLI insurance. This was an insurance policy provided by the military and was soldier elected and could be refused by the soldier and the beneficiary did not have to be the spouse or children but parents, girlfriends, organizations etc. It could also be purchased in $50,000 increments and could be up to the max, or less. So the bottom line … are widows of war being cared for by our government? I am telling you as the widow of a Command Sergeant Major serving this country for almost 21 years, that we are not. Things are improving for us, there have been needed changes. It is the widows themselves who are trying to inform the public of all of the inequities we struggle and fight for, not for monetary benefits. We are damn proud of our soldiers and feel they died a death of honor for this country and the only way to unquestionably honor that dead soldier is by forcibly educating our government of the responsibilities of war. We, the families left behind, continue the sacrifice. He proudly wore his uniform, proudly served his country and was willing to train and be an example to young soldiers for more than 20 years. He gave his life for his country and the United States Army because he proudly obeyed the orders of the President of the United States. And I say proudly. He expected the same courtesy for his family, from his country, if he had to give the Ultimate Sacrifice for his country. He did. And this is what we fight for. Our soldiers matter. Dead and alive. It is the toughest job in the world. A job of Honor and A death of Honor. How can anyone think it is the right thing to do and accept, that one benefit paid (DIC) from VA is deducted dollar for dollar from his already earned, time in service retirement (SBP) from the DoD? My dead husband continues to pay for survivors' benefits for his family with a dollar for dollar deduction. Two completely different monthly benefits paid for two different reasons, two different government organizations but both benefits equal to one. I receive $476 a month of my husband's hard earned retirement pay and he was in the Army for almost 21 years. This is a disgrace. And this is our fight … the disgrace to our soldiers, the disgrace in the care of the surviving family. It's wrong anyway you look at it and can no longer be accepted from the greatest country in the world, The United States of America. Our husbands died for you, for THE UNITED STATES OF AMERICA. Stand with them in life and also in death. We call it "The Ultimate Sacrifice for Our Country," because it is.
Linnie
Blankenbecler I am a new GSW member, since March this year. Each of our stories are unique but I think mine is more unusual than many. My husband, SFC James H. Lauderdale, Jr. was drafted into the Vietnam War in 1968 and was in the Army for two years. He went back to college and eventually joined the Arizona Army National Guard. He was due to retire after 20 years in January, 2005. His unit was called up in October, 2004 for OIF. He trained in Fort Dix, NJ and then went to Kuwait in January, 2005, where he was involved in guarding the Iraq border for the election. He became sick in March, was taken by medevac to Germany and on to Walter Reed on April 1, 2005. He was diagnosed with head and neck cancer, and cancer of the mouth and tongue. He spent 13 months at Walter Reed which involved four cancer surgeries, a heart attack on his 59th birthday and a code arrest in the emergency room, plus three cardiac stents that night. He endured 39 radiation treatments, chemotherapy when he was able, and many, many complications, ER visits, and hospitalizations. He died at Walter Reed July 14, 2006 and was buried at Arlington July 21, 2006. So, here I am a widow and Jim thought I would be well taken care of. He was in the service 21 years and deserved his retirement, but did not live to enjoy it. He was retired after he died. I applied for DIC and SBP and was told the first week in August what I would be getting. I got my DIC in March finally, and have since been told that I didn't qualify, and then I did qualify, and then, they didn't know if I qualified for SBP. I have yet to see any SBP. My husband's retirement SHOULD be given to me. He should not lose it and neither should I. I have yet to understand the DIC/SBP offset. Why does a person not get all his retirement? What has one got to do with the other? Jim worked 21 years for the Army and now I can't get his retirement? No other person's retirement is offset dollar for dollar by another income. It doesn't make sense. I have written my Senator John McCain, and talked to his MLA and have also written and called my House of Representatives from Arizona. They need to show their support for military widows and stop this insane policy! I lost my job of 22 plus years at the American Red Cross because I took more than 12 weeks of FMLA to care for my husband in Washington, D.C. Instead of giving me a leave of absence they chose to terminate me. But, I chose to retire two days before they were going to terminate. My husband found out I retired a couple of months later, as at the time he was in ICU and way too ill to talk about it. He later asked, "What happened with the Red Cross?" And I told him I retired. He felt really bad that I lost my job and felt it was because of him, but it wasn't because of him, it was because Red Cross didn't care. They act like they care for the soldiers and the war, but they don't care about their employees. I had given my life to them and they didn't care. My husband gave his life for this country and now I don't get what he worked so hard for. He was honored and willingly went to the war. I am glad for anyone who will help me and all the other widows fight for what we deserve. But, I want to make it clear, for me, anyway, I have only so much energy and it takes all I have to write this right now through my tears. Every day is a struggle not to lose it, and for the last nine months I have called and contacted all kinds of offices and people regarding my benefits, etc. It is all I can do to talk to people, and inevitably I start crying and then they can't understand me. Many are less than empathetic. I have many times not been able to stand up for myself because I didn't have the energy or stamina to do so. I have contacted, like I said, my Senator, Congresswoman and Congressman, to encourage them to take a stand for us military widows. Please do not judge us because sometimes we are just too worn out, too depressed, too sick, or too tired to get involved in everything presented to us. I thank you for listening, and sorry this is so long. Thanks again, God bless, Dixie Lauderdale As I told Dixie, no such thing as too long when it comes to these stories. In this case, the rest of Jim's medical horror story is here: http://sistersoldier.blogspot.com/ - type Lauderdale into the search box. You are so right about the veterans' issues. It's really criminal what we do to our military families. I am hoping that the Washington Post series on Walter Reed will light a fire under some of these bureaucrats and lead to more than just band aids for the problem.- L in D.C. http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-srv/nation/walter-reed/index.htmlThis is still just a start. I encourage all widow(er)s to take advantage of the chance to vent and add to impact: MarthaJones1@aol.com - please use Soldiers' Widows in subject line, I delete mystery mail. If publishing your real name would cause any problems, only I need to know who you are, and your location. You supply the pen name. Initials are fine too.All submissions will be considered
intended for publication. I will edit for brevity, fix typos and
punctuation. Anything contrary to
the purpose of the page will be ignored. From Military.com:
Back to Joyce,
Well our government is at it again. It seems they are trying to offer us some sort of compromise. They are trying to pass Chapter 61 which would instead give military widows a $40 a month payment. Please see the following:
That oh-so-generous offer is an unforgivable insult. You'd be
better off on food stamps!
If it was me, and I could hold out, I would for the full amount.
Once they're allowed to get away with any compromise, it'll be
years before anyone sees another penny.
I will not sign the suggested message. I will send
my own, opening
with: The idiot(s) who came up with the $40 and $100 so-called
compromises, and the other idiot who composed the prepared
asinine*
message, are also beyond-belief-colossal wimps.
I will also send this link. Amazing how many people still ignore the power of the 'net when they show their sorry asses. Lots more is on the way as soon as I can manage. Please check back. Had to get the last two stories out there before another day passed. * Gotta love it:Main Entry: as·i·nine Guess I'll have to send the definition along too. http://www.therealmartha.com/Freedom/index.htm - Freedom isn't Cheap, a poem by Joyce, written while Brad was alive, and much more.
http://www.therealmartha.com/WAR/index.htm - Whispering Activist
Record pages If all you can do is send the page around, please do not hesitate. It is about the money though, and about the monetary value of a soldier's life. How dare they put such a meager sum to his or her worth!!! A slap in the face doesn't begin to describe the audacity of the most powerful government in the world!!! - H in Indiana Wow ... am shocked to learn most of this ... but then again ... maybe not. - RE in Missouri You should send this to Bush and as many government officials as possible. There is just no excuse for this. - JW in Texas I lost several friends in Vietnam war, but none of them were married, so I suppose benefits weren't an issue. My dad was injured in WWII. He talks about everything under the sun, but never talks about his military service. I remember him keeping his purple heart in a cigar box, have no idea whatever happened to it. I also remember him wearing a big heavy brace on his leg when I was a kid. I understand he got a lot of shrapnel in his lower back and legs. I know that (well, I heard about it from my mom) for years and years Daddy fought for some kind of help for his injuries. I think he gets about $80 a month. He does get some help with medications from the VA. The thing with my mom, though, I think is the same as the lady in your story. When my dad dies, my mom doesn't get anything, no benefits at all. I think a couple of hundred bucks for burial and that's all. And the little benefits, such as the drugs that my dad gets, doesn't apply to my mom. The wives don't get medical benefits. Plus, my dad has to argue with his doctors over certain drugs. His doctor wants him to use a medication that the VA doesn't supply, so the doctor has to give him a prescription for one that he can get through the VA. And, after all these years, he's never used the VA thing to get a house. - LM in Texas I hadn't even thought about the older folks until LM's note. Her parents are in their 80s and so are Mike's. WWII veterans have it much better than those who followed. Mike recently set his parents up in a nursing home. Once he gets past 300 miles of red tape, those VA benefits will kick in. Contact: Military Order of the Purple Heart of the U.S.A., Inc., "An Organization Chartered by Congress and/or Recognized by VA for Claim Representation" - http://www1.va.gov/VSO/index.cfm?template=viewreport&Org_ID=84 for help dealing with the VA. Anyone can provide the necessary documentation to start processing. Service-connected is the key word, although, Mike's dad came through without injury. Seems to me, anyone who needs to be in a nursing home is somehow disabled. Mike's not sure where the eligibility line is drawn (in service damage doesn't necessarily show up immediately). He's dealing directly with the VA for his dad. As far as we understand, assisted living and nursing home coverage is extended to spouses. Please let me know about other experience, good and bad. Following is one example of prepared text (copied to me) from Military Officers Assn. of America: http://www.moaa.org/ Thank you for using Military Officers Assn. of America Mail System http://www.congress.org/ is another place to check. I'm finding many disability issues addressed and I'm working on another page for those which will be linked here a.s.a.p. | ||||||||||||