These are the people you won't find anywhere else. Most listings will follow a similar format. Everyone had the option of expanding on or ignoring any question altogether. To find shared interests immediately, hit ctrl, F (at the same time) - type in key word when the box pops up (travel, kids, dance, your area ... you get the idea). Cool trick to find anything on any page.

Good news ladies! Finally have one gentleman's answers (pic soon). See end of page. Will be on separate pages a.s.a.p. All so far are ladies looking for gents and vice versa. However, do not hesitate to contact someone if for no other reason than to compare notes. Have not had any interest from the gay community - those listings will be welcomed and categorized accordingly.

More on the way, (plus more bells and whistles - my choices so far - "this is me" contributions most welcome) stay tuned!

Pics page: http://www.therealmartha.com/SinglesPICs/index.htm - coupla guys there too without profiles written yet.

Remember - the matchmaker can only offer kindling here,
you have to take the steps to fan the fire.

Ladies first ...

and gentlemen, please note: If Barbie was a real woman, she'd have to walk on all fours due to her proportions. There are three billion women who don't look like supermodels and only eight who do. Marilyn Monroe wore a size 14. The average woman weighs 144 lbs. and wears between a 12-14. Models in magazines are airbrushed - not perfect!

Wild Juli 7353

What's the stupidest movie or TV show you ever loved? Twins, The Gong Show

How old are you? 48 physically, 16 mentally

Would you try peanut butter on pancakes/have you? Yes and yes

Commandments of Meeting Cyberdates: DOH - Absolute honesty, no lying, meet in a well-trafficked area, man always pays on the first date, be open to the possibilities, not paranoid about past lousy choices. Try to have a nice sense of humor. ;-)

Special interests: Internet, fine dining, rock & Top 40 music, I'm willing to give parenting advice but only to a point :-), traveling, Vegas, fun, parties, intelligent conversation.

Location: Los Angeles, not willing to relocate but love to travel.

Smoking: I smoke. A lot at times. Not willing to quit for a relationship but might quit for myself one day if I feel like it. Do not want to be around anyone who badgers me about it.

Dog/cat/allergic: Love them both, have two cats, not allergic to anything except assholes.

Kids/allergic: Two daughters, 13 and 7. They will always come first but I'm perfectly capable of having a relationship without them being involved.

Age range: 35-50 (young 50)

Am/pm type: Both, am out of necessity.

Lively, outgoing/stay home: Love both.

Celebrity or fictional character you admire or people say you remind them of and why: Titanna Springs - The Catasy (own novel in the works). :-)

No wasting time with the fireplace and walking the beach fantasies, what is your real idea of the perfect date. Have you had a perfect date? Awesome dinner, great conversation, great music after dinner, surprise me. :-)

Everyone needs to be honest about drinking/drug use, past and present, RX details included. Drink socially, not an alchy and don't want anything to do with anyone who is or has been accused of being one whether you think you are or not. Pot on rare occasions. Don't take pills except vitamins. Perfectly healthy, thank you. No STDs (if that's what you mean).

There is no point to lying about appearance either, some people have all their original parts in working order, some don't - so what, if it makes a difference, say so. I'm into great-looking men or someone who strikes me as great looking. Prefer taller than 5'8," soulful eyes, great hands, bald is fine but no wigs or vain attempts to look younger, no dye jobs either. Physically fit but not a gym rat or perfectionist. I have a few xtra pounds I don't want to have to answer for. I'm attractive, petite, dress casually and like a funky look. See picture for details.

Current relationship status: Separated more than two years. Would get divorced but can't find the time to finalize the issues.

Level of security/insecurity (ego/financial/screening before meeting): Pretty secure, can't handle insecure types. Financially secure. Looking for same on both counts. Confidence a plus. :-)

Rate yourself on the following scales:

Neat/slob - (home/car/personal): Both
City/country: City
Nerd/hip: Hip but a computer nerd.
Assertive/wimp: Assertive. No wimps need apply but no brute force types either. If you're nice to the waiter, you're OK.

Do you care which way the TP comes off the roll? Why? Yes! Has to roll over the top, not behind the roll. Drives me crazy when it's behind. Because I like to see the pattern the way it was intended to look, that's why! ;-)

Want a cake for your birthday/usually bake/buy for someone special? Yeah I want a cake for my birthday. I always buy one, too busy to make one. I'm also the one who takes responsibility for everyone's birthday. Love to celebrate for any reason.

Like surprises? Sure!

Usually make decisions by gut feelings or research, include examples. 99% gut, 95% of the time it works perfectly so that's my example.

Thoughts on spirituality: Big time into the universe and all the miracles swirling around us if we're open to them. Intense dislike for organized religion. Was raised a Hindu by Catholic parents ... figure that one out. I do not go to church or temple or worship goats on a mountain. Just like to know the universe is on my side if I let it be.

This lady found her man, no use wasting her good advice

Commandments of Meeting Cyberdates:

1) Don't be stupid. Lunatics lurk behind the kindest of faces and behind the most benign seeming personalities.
2) Meet in a well lit and highly populated place.
3) Get to know your date well in advance of meeting them as much as you can.
4) Take a buddy along with you!!!
5) You are taking a risk by meeting someone from the Internet ... weigh the risk against the possible and plausible benefits.



Lisa100953

Stupidest movie or TV: I loved Fernwood Tonight and I bet if I were to see it again I would think it was stupid, but at the time I thought it was hilarious.

My birth certificate confirms that I am 47, but physically and mentally I am much younger. I take good care of myself.

Age range preferred: 42-52

Would you try peanut butter on pancakes/have you? Never. Sounds awful.

Special interests: I work out five days a week, but haven't recently because of my new job. I will be back there next week. Promise. And I love movies, live theater and music.

List current occupants of your home, describe it and them (include critters): I have two daughters. The 20-year-old is staying home this year to attend junior college. If the 19-year-old decides not to go back to college, she is moving out. I also have a dog, Reeses. Not even the vet knows what kind he is.

Location: Kansas City metro. I might be willing to move, but only to a warm climate.

I am an ex smoker (quit 10 years ago). I hate it. I drink socially, but don't smoke or take drugs.

I think I am allergic to cats. I know that I can't stand them

I don't want to do little kids again, except for my own grandchildren, someday, maybe. I have already been through teenagers and don't care to do that again.

I am more a morning person. I love going out at night, but can't make it much past midnight.

I prefer going out to staying home, but I need to stay home occasionally to recharge my battery. That might change if I had a good companion to spend the evening with at home.

I would like to email, then phone and then finally meet in person in a public place. I am cautious, but not chicken.

Everyday habits/bug-a-boo(s), good and/or irritating/compulsive: I make my bed before leaving the house and don't leave lights on when I'm not home, except the porch light in the evening. I am always on time.

I am hoping to find a mate who is employed, a bit ambitious and doesn't have an ex that won't go away (in the mind or in the flesh). I require a nonsmoker, light or nondrinker and someone who is in fairly good to good physical shape. And, a sense of humor is a must.

Thing/being/"state of" you miss the most: I miss having a best friend to enjoy life with.

Personal quality/accomplishment or deed you are most proud of/regret: I have raised two daughters to maturity (sometimes) since they were 4 and 2 by myself. It was hard at time, but very rewarding.

Spontaneous/gotta think about it: Usually gotta think about it.

Rate yourself on the following scales,

Neat/slob (home/car/personal): Neat
City/country: City, definitely
Nerd/hip: Hip, well as hip as a 47-year-old can be without looking foolish
Assertive/wimp: Usually assertive without being overbearing
Quiet/talkative: Talkative - I'm in sales!
Opinionated/go with the flow: I am opinionated only when it's a very important subject to me. Otherwise, I go with the flow. I pick my battles carefully.
Open to new ideas/my way or the highway: Always open to new ideas
Leader/follower: I will lead if no one else will
Instigator/peacemaker: Some of both. I am a Libra - balanced.
Causes you support/fight (for or against) actively/ignore: Nothing comes to mind. Probably anything that has to do with my children or friends.

Do you care which way the TP comes off the roll? Why? I like it to come from underneath. Beats me why.

Want a cake for your birthday/usually bake/buy for someone special? I like birthday cake, but it's not mandatory. I usually buy for someone special. I am not a baker.

Like surprises? Only if they involve gifts. :)

Usually make decisions by gut feelings or research, include examples. I will make decisions by gut feelings unless they involve large sums of money. I am beginning a remodeling project on my bathroom and will take many bids.

Thoughts on spirituality: Reincarnation, maybe. I was brought up in a very strict religion and stay clear of that now.
Politics: Don't really care.
Beliefs/superstitions: No superstitions. not firm on beliefs other than Karma
Education/intelligence: I enjoy intelligent people
Social status: I'm not sure what that means. All of my friends are in my social status . . .
Celebrity or fictional character: I really don't follow celebrities enough to say and I don't know any fictional characters!

I think I have had some great dates, but obviously they weren't with the right people or I wouldn't be filling this out. I love to go to a nice place for dinner and then off to listen to live jazz or see a good play. Or maybe just a good movie. If the weather is nice, I like a walk in the afternoon or evening. Who knows!

I am petite and in good shape. The picture is current. I am happy with myself most of the time. I don't hate being alone, but don't like long stretches of aloneness. I love being with good friends. I have been divorced for years, not dating anyone special.

Mary 6654

Stupidest movie or TV show you ever loved? Ren and Stimpy, Get Smart, I Married A Strange Person

Age: Physically - mid 30s, mentally - ageless, reality - 47

Age range preferred: 38-55

Would you try peanut butter on pancakes/have you? Only with chocolate sauce

Special interests: science, gardening, current events, sci-fi, video games

List current occupants of your home, describe it and them (include critters): myself, my 15-year-old son Josh, Butchie the-dog-who-can-poop-in-five-languages

Location: NJ/NYC area -- might move

I smoke moderately

Dog/cat/allergic no

Kids/allergic: no

Am/pm type: yes

Lively, outgoing/stay home: yes

Level of security/insecurity (ego/financial/screening before meeting): screen before meeting

Everyday habits/bug-a-boo(s), good and/or irritating/compulsive: none
Strongest want/need/desire: To be loved, appreciated, and paid what I'm worth.
Thing/being/"state of" you miss the most: days of being carefree and naive
Personal quality/accomplishment or deed you are most proud of/regret: raising a good, decent, and introspective son
Spontaneous/gotta think about it: I can be spontaneous if I plan for it in my schedule

Rate yourself on the following scales: (I don't do scales!)

Neat/slob (home/car/personal): slightly sloppier than neat
City/country: both
Nerd/hip: both
Assertive/wimp: assertive
Quiet/talkative: how about thoughtful?
Opinionated/go with the flow: depends (and I'm not talking adult diapers!)
Open to new ideas/my way or the highway: will try most things once
Leader/follower: reluctant leader
Instigator/peacemaker: neither -- I'm a butt-outski (as opposed to a butt-inski)
Causes you support/fight (for or against) actively/ignore: support freedom of thought, fight ignorance, ignore born-again Christians

Do you care which way the TP comes off the roll? Why? as long as there's TP on the roll and it's nice and soft, I don't care

Want a cake for your birthday/usually bake/buy for someone special? Loove chocolate ice cream cakes!

Like surprises? only good ones!

Usually make decisions by gut feelings or research, include examples. use research to support or dispute gut feelings -- buying a car, where to move

Thoughts on spirituality: quite spiritual in a very quiet way -- to me it's very personal
Politics: the only honest politician is one who stays 'bought'
Beliefs/superstitions: belief in G-d, continuation of spirit beyond death
Education/intelligence: college educated in both the sciences and arts, too intelligent for my own good
Social status: what the hell is that? (it's not like I live in India and am relegated to a cast)

Celebrity or fictional character you admire/respect/can't stand or people say you remind them of and why: Fran Drescher is obnoxious, I admired George Burns for staying active and involved in life, and that King of England who gave up his throne for love. People say I write like Erma Bombeck

No wasting time with the fireplace and walking the beach fantasies, what is your REAL idea of the perfect date. Have you had a perfect date? Going on one of those ships that cruise around Manhattan at night with nice R&B, jazz, and soft rock to dance to

Don't gamble, very moderate drinker, and I turned my bong into a bud vase 16 years ago.

Some of my parts may be a bit rusty, but they are all original.

In general: happy with yourself/could use a little improvement/I'm a mess: If I were perfect, I'd either be an angel or Rudy Guiliani - but I'm pretty good for a mere mortal!

Amount of time you are comfortable being alone: quite a bit

Current relationship status: What relationship?

Tee'z 110455

Stupidest movie or TV? Get Smart. I thought all of Max's gadgets were just too cool.

Age: I've heard it said that a person is only as old as they feel ... and some days I feel pretty doggoned old! Mentally I prefer to think of myself as wise beyond my years. Physically, I've been blessed with "young genes" ... I always win those "let me guess your age" deals at fairs.

Would you try peanut butter on pancakes/have you? Never have, but sure ... I'd try it! PB&J were made for each so I figure I'm already halfway there since I always opt for jelly versus syrup anyway.

Commandments of Meeting Cyberdates: Other than "Honesty Xs 10" ... this is such a new thing for me that I'm not sure ...

Special interests:
Dancing
Hunting
Camping
Hiking
Fishing
Swimming
Biking
Rodeos
Horseback riding
Deaf Culture
Reading, Writing (But no arithmetic!)

List current occupants of your home, describe it and them (include critters): I spend so much time on the road that sometimes it feels like I live in my truck which could constitute calling it "home." However that gives a whole new and rather undesirable meaning to the phrase, "There's no place like home" ... I live on five acres with my two terrific teenage sons, a talking cockatiel, a black Lab, a German shepherd, two horses (a Thoroughbred and a miniature ... they look like Mutt and Jeff out in the pasture together), and chickens. Any and all cats that haven't wandered off or turned into road pizza are barn cats and stay outside. Our house is a two-story refurbished farm house that is about 100 years old surrounded by huge trees that are about the same age.

Current location is affectionately referred to by my "city folk friends" as BFE. Actually I live about 25 miles northeast of Columbus, Ohio. I love to travel! Am I willing to move? Most likely yes, for the right person and the right reasons.

I currently smoke myself, but am working really hard on cutting down and my goal is to totally quit in the very near future. But I've promised myself I won't slide into the traditional "reformed smoker" mode and being around others who smoke wouldn't an issue. (8-20-01: I haven't smoked for three weeks now.)

Not allergic to any animals.

Kids/allergic: I'm more allergic to the parents who let them misbehave ...

Age range: Somewhere between old enough to know better and too young to resist! Late 30s and above.

Am/pm type: Both ... either or ... however, if I try to be both for any length of time ... well, let's just say it ain't pretty!

Lively, outgoing/stay home: Oh, I'm definitely an extrovert and very lively! But I also enjoy just being home.

Level of security/insecurity (ego/financial/screening before meeting): I'm very secure with myself as far as ego goes but by no means do I have an over-inflated one. Financially I'm a pro at making Lincoln scream and robbing Peter to pay Paul! As far as screening before meeting ... I'm secure to the point of just shy of paranoia - (just kidding!)

Everyday habits/bug-a-boo(s), good and/or irritating/compulsive: I habitually wake up everyday which so far has been a good thing. I try to include some form of exercise in my daily routine, although some days this might merely mean stretching and yawning before getting out of bed ... I like to read at night before going to sleep ... mostly because I'm an avid reader and that's the most conducive time for me, but also from the protracted lack of anything more interesting to do during that time ... ahem ... I tend to get irritable when I'm hungry. If I start getting crotchety, the first thing those who know me well do is find me food. If I am correct in assuming bug-a-boos means pet peeves/irritations ... these are the things that annoy me and because I spend so much time driving, it seems they're all related to the driving skills of others.
1) People who refuse to enter intersections while waiting to make left turns ... .They always manage to be the only car who gets through the light before it turns red.
2) People who haven't figured out that all vehicles come equipped with a gas pedal and the simple act of depressing it will propel them forward toward some semblance of a speed limit.
3) And last but not least, people who don't realize that their vehicles come equipped with a dimmer switch for their brights.

I've been labeled many things, but so far, compulsive isn't one of them.

Strongest want/need/desire: From the words of a song I really like ... "I want to leave a little fire burning in everyone I know ... I want to leave more than tracks behind me when I go."

Thing/being/"state of" you miss the most:
Thing: Trail riding
Being: Able to share the little things in life with someone special
State of: Washington

Quality/deed you are most proud of/regret: I'm proud of my ability to keep on keeping on ... regardless.

Spontaneous/gotta think about it: Definitely more spontaneous.

Rate yourself on the following scales:

Neat/slob - as in home/car/personal: Neat in all areas but not to the point of being anal about it.

City/country: Country! Not to say that I couldn't or wouldn't live in the city, but I enjoy listening to crickets, seeing the stars, having my space and privacy, and having neighbors far enough away that if I need to borrow a cup of sugar, it requires getting in the truck and driving there.

Nerd/hip: I don't own a pocket protector if that tells you anything.

Assertive/wimp: Assertive. I don't think I have one ounce of wimp in me.

Quiet/talkative: My dad has always liked to say that I was vaccinated with a phonograph needle (and for those of you who don't know or remember what that is - you're way too young for me!) Making conversation is easy for me but I don't prattle on senselessly. There are times when being quiet is a very good thing ... I've learned it's much easier to not insert my foot in my mouth when I keep it shut.

Opinionated but wise enough to know that timing is important and sometimes it's more constructive to go with the flow ... for the moment.

Open to new ideas/my way or the highway: Always open to new ideas. This doesn't mean they'll always get implemented but at least I'll listen with an open mind.

I tend to be a leader. However, I can follow when I'm feel I'm being led well ... especially when it comes to dancing. I two-step and I'm a very good follower in that instance!

Instigator/peacemaker: I'm ornery and I can instigate with the best of them when it's in jest and not detrimental or destructive. Stirring the pot for anything other than constructive reasons has never been something I put any energy into. Being a peacemaker seems to come naturally to me ... I've always been a good "patcherupper."

Do you care which way the TP comes off the roll? Oh yes! It HAS to roll from the top side.
Why? I have no idea. It's just one of those pet peeve things and I really don't know where it came from. Aesthetics maybe? It just looks better that way?

Want a cake for your birthday/usually bake/buy for someone special? Nope, I'm not big on cake ... from the time I was little I've always preferred pie. I learned to decorate cakes many years ago so for someone special I usually bake and decorate myself. I figure lopsided still tastes good and it's the thought that counts ... right?

Like surprises? Yeppers, as long as they don't involve someone wearing an ugly mask, rolling over and peering out from under the sheets after I've crawled into bed.

Usually make decisions by gut feelings or research, include examples: I generally trust my gut feelings but that's not to say that research isn't sometimes necessary. A combination of both is good, but if my gut instincts are really strong, they'll win out despite whatever research may turn up. (Can't really think of any specific example.)

I feel a necessary component for life is missing if one doesn't have a spiritual aspect to their life.

Politics: I can take them or leave them and I tend to do the latter. It's not that I'm not interested, it's just the bureaucracy that I dislike.

Beliefs/superstitions: I believe life is short so it's good to eat dessert first. I also believe that just because something has always been a certain way doesn't always make it right. Somethings need to be challenged and changed. I'm not the least bit superstitious ... (of course this was said while throwing salt over my left shoulder - hehe)

Education/intelligence: BA in English. I'd like to think I'm closer to the higher end of the intelligence continuum, but some might argue that's what I get for thinkin' ...

Social status: Every time my ship has come in, I've been at the airport....go figure

The perfect date is being with someone who has a great sense of humor, the ability to look me in the eye, mannerly (opening doors, etc), with the ability to be spontaneous and creative. Yes, I've had perfect dates ... and in thinking about it, they were all with guys who didn't ask what I wanted to do ... they already had at least a tentative game plan in mind. That's not to say that I don't appreciate being given options, but I hate the "what do u want to do?" game.

I have gambled, but I'm so frugal that I start with a certain amount of money and anything I win goes in my pocket and stays there. When what I started with is gone, I'm done! I drink, but not excessively. I figured out a long time ago that having too much of a good time the night before is not worth wasting the entire next day feeling like crap. I've done drugs but never on any kind of a regular basis, and the last time was eons ago.

I am more attracted to a man who takes care of himself. A guy who is extremely overweight is a definite turn off for me.

For the most part I really like myself. I know I lean toward being a perfectionist, but I've noticed myself mellowing about many things in the past few years. There's always something that can be improved upon and I strive for that, but at the same time, I don't beat myself up if it doesn't happen overnight.

Time you are comfortable alone: I am so much of a "people person" that being alone was difficult for me for a long time. My type A personality used to drive me to always want to be doing something with someone. I'd say in the past two years I have really learned to slow down, relax, and truly enjoy my time alone.

Current relationship status: Separated for three years and divorced for two months. The lengthy separation and the situation as a whole totally eliminates any possibility of me being "on the rebound."

Waiting code/name (use #b for now)

Stupidest movie or TV show you ever loved? The Gods Must be Crazy

Age: Physical is 51... Mental: Yet to be determined!

Age range preferred: 48-58

Would you try peanut butter on pancakes/have you? I surely would!

Commandments of Meeting Cyberdates
1. Never at "home" for first meeting (safety issue)
2. Get alternate #s in case one of you screws up!
3. Be honest ... that glamour shot of 15 years ago won't cut it now!
4. Be Honest ... if you're married, what the hell are you doing out here?
5. Make the date for coffee ... why waste $ and time if it's not a hit. You can always enhance the date after the initial meeting.

List current occupants of your home, describe it and them (include critters): Just me ... my best buddy (German Shorthair) went to the other side a couple years back :-(

Location/willing to travel or move: Dallas ...Yes, willing to travel/move. Who in their right mind would call Dallas home??

Smoking: I am, I enjoy it. Don't know anyone who gets out alive, and I'm well versed on the "hazards." It's my one "wort"... and we all have 'em

Dog/cat/allergic: Non allergic ... unless it's behavior wise. Love dogs ... tolerate cats

Kids/allergic: Have two, grown ... they gave me wrinkles, but love 'em anyway. Haven't hung any in the garage until age 18 yet, but thought about it.

Am/pm type: A.M. by nature, P.M. by work ... guess that means I don't sleep much

Lively, outgoing/stay home: All the above! Not too many things I don't like, so flexible here. No one is safe from my grocery store comments. Home is a great place to be ... I even stay there sometimes!

Level of security/insecurity (ego/financial/screening before meeting): Hmm ... Ego: Damaged but repaired. Financial: Would be nice to win the lottery. Would greatly improve my chances if I bought a ticket I'm told. Screening: If you've been honest, there shouldn't be a problem, right?
Everyday habits/bug-a-boo(s), good and/or irritating/compulsive: I'm a smoker ... good, bad or otherwise ... I yam what I yam. I do my obligations, on time ... and the rest is subject to spur of the moment.
Strongest want/need/desire: Want/desire: to have my own piece of dirt, but not the one they plant you in! Need: Gosh, can't think of anything I'm in need of.
Thing/being/"state of" you miss the most: I think I miss a relationship, companionship, best buddy the most.
Personal quality/accomplishment or deed you are most proud of/regret: Regrets ... I have a few. Accomplishments ... we'll talk about that sometime
Spontaneous/gotta think about it: I'm very spontaneous ... how long does it take to pack?

Rate yourself on the following scales,

Neat/slob (home/car/personal): maybe cluttered, but not a slob
City/country: Dallas - 2, Country ... if you're asking if I am... yes
Nerd/hip: Gosh, are those descriptive terms? Happy medium
Assertive/wimp: I probably have an opinion ... and I express it. I usually refer to myself as "dependently independent"
Quiet/talkative: No fence post is safe! I am a good listener as well. Most consider me easy to talk to.
Opinionated/go with the flow: If the flow don't cut it, I don't go!
Open to new ideas/my way or the highway: Open minded ... within reason
Leader/follower: Generally a leader, but there are times to follow
Instigator/peacemaker: Neither ... I don't like fighting and I'll bail. I've found you generally don't know all the facts, so keep your nose out of it.
Causes you support/fight (for or against) actively/ignore: Used to do that, but in Dallas I haven't gotten involved. Here by job, not by choice.
Do you care which way the TP comes off the roll? Why? I use to change it ... but I don't remember to which way.
Want a cake for your birthday/usually bake/buy for someone special? Home baked German choc is good any time, let's not count the b-days, please!
Like surprises? Love surprises, and they drive me crazy!
Usually make decisions by gut feelings or research, include examples. I go with gut feeling. Examples would fill a book!
Thoughts on spirituality: There is a God, but he doesn't require a special building, time, or middle man to talk to him. We chat whenever.
Politics: Is a "tea party" in the makings? What we have now is piss poor!
Beliefs/superstitions: I don't mind black cats and do walk under ladders, think there's a lot to some "old wives tales" and believe God watches over children and idiots, so I"ll be fine.
Education/intelligence: Not the "dumb blonde" if that's what you think.
Social status: Neither a prince (princess) or a pauper be.

Celebrity or fictional character you admire/respect/can't stand or people say you remind them of and why: You know, ya, that one!!

What is your real idea of the perfect date. Have you had a perfect date? Had a couple ... got to choose where I wanted to go for my birthday ... picked a picnic, it was great! Other was going to Dairy Queen late one night, getting a banana split Blizzard, taking it to the lake and sitting in the back of the pickup watching the stars come out.

I'm a heavy drinker ... of coffee and tea. Gambling ... big time! My two rolls of nickels will last me all day. Have never done drugs ... don't plan to start. Rx is ok if needed.

There is no point to lying about appearance either, some people have all their original parts in working order, some don't - so what, if it makes a difference, say so: Nope ... don't matter to me.

In general I'm HppyWthMee (my aol screen name), but not so vain as to think I couldn't use improvement. I'm not claiming to be perfect, but didn't say I wasn't close! (joke)

I live alone. If I wasn't comfortable with it, I'd have a roomie. Amount of time I would like to spend with someone ... depends. If they're "that special one"... 80 percent ... everyone still needs "their own time and space"

Current relationship status: Divorced four years, was married 23 years.

The "Yippee" is for Mr. #070659 - c'mon now you other guys ... or I will carry out my round-up pen threat.

As for a screen name, I tend to lean more toward my Irish side (thanks for including a nice "Dia Dhuit" in the welcome!) so I'll go with Mahon MacRi. It means "Bear, son of kings" in ancient Irish (Gaeilge) although the word "mahon" is no longer used in everyday speech, having long since been replaced by the English word "bear." It's still found in Scots (Gaeilge n'An Alban) as "mathan" and pronounced the same, with the accent on the first syllable and the "th" as an "h."

Anyway, here are my answers to the questions, and in case there's any doubt, I'm a man looking for a woman, LOL! I've included the male version of the "10 Commandments of Meeting Cyberdates" just for laughs, although in it came down to it I'd probably follow most if not all of them myself. Mainly I just thought they'd be good for a chuckle for any lady who reads my listing. 

Stupidest movie or TV show you ever loved? TV show? It's a toss-up between "Get Smart" and "Rowan and Martin's Laff-In" with maybe a bit of Billy Vann's "Hilarious House of Frightenstein" thrown in for good measure. Movie? I'd have to say "Joe Versus The Volcano."

Physically, I'm an extremely well preserved 42 years old (longevity genes courtesy of my wonderful father who is 80 and still fit, active, and with a mind like a steel trap!) while mentally I'm a somewhat mature 25. 

Age range preferred: Somewhere between 30 and 45, although I'm willing to adjust as needed.

Would you try peanut butter on pancakes/have you? Haven't yet, but I'd give it a try. I think I'd probably want some chocolate syrup to go with it, though.

"10 Commandments of Meeting Cyberdates" The Male Version

1) 100% honesty given and expected.....I'd hate to find out that "Cynthia, 32, svelte, administrative assistant" is really "Chuck, 45, 350 lb. truck driver!"

2)  Bring flowers AND chocolates......she might dislike one or the other, but not both!

3)  Public places mean less danger......who needs a "Fatal Attraction?" There ARE women serial killers out there, after all, not to mention Lorena Bobbits too!

4)  Go Dutch....this IS the 21st Century, after all!

5)  Don't let passion get the better of you......a great first date should end with no more than a goodnight hug and kiss, not breakfast the next morning! Nothing can screw up the chances of a successful long term relationship better than hopping into the sack too soon!

6)  ALWAYS have a game plan! In spite of all the modern conventions, women still prefer a "take charge" kind of guy to a water-on-the-knees wimp! 

7)  Have a friend nearby who has your pager/cell phone number....if the date looks like turning into a "Disaster Double Feature" at the drive-in, he can call you with an "emergency." While this may seem rather cruel and insensitive it's a lot better than waking up in the ER! You can always give him the "high sign" to let him know if he's no longer needed, after all. 

8)  If you're not a "door opener" and mannerly type, you'd better learn to be one fast, because a lady prefers a gentlemanly companion over a brute any day of the week. This is more difficult for some of us than others, but it can be overcome......sensitivity seminars and anger management programs might be a great place to start if you still think that a good way to get a woman is to bop her over the head with a club and drag her back to your cave!

9)  NEVER play cards with a guy named "Doc", never eat at a place called "Mom's" and never EVER date women called Bambi, Terri, or Barbi who put those little hearts over their "i's" instead of just dotting them!  

10) See "Rule #1."

Special interests: Music, camping, the Great Outdoors, hiking, more music, writing, reading, dancing, MORE music, playing frisbee with my dog, leathercrafting, movies, still MORE music (are we sensing a recurring theme here?) poetry (writing more than reading) playing the Blues, watching sunsets/sunrises, boating, interesting international cuisine, coffee (I have my own cappuccino maker and I use it every day) horses, dogs, cats, wildlife, travel, and a whole lot more. 

List current and possible future (parents, grown kids) occupants of your home, describe it and them (include critters): Right now there's just myself, my insanely talented and intelligent Border Collie, Beau, and my three electric guitars and several amplifiers.  

Location/willing to travel or move: Ottawa, Ontario, Canada, definitely willing to relocate, planning to move soon anyway to get away from the terrible, ferocious Winters here!

Smoking/willing to put up with it/gag, no way: I smoke, Drum Mild (I roll my own) not cheap, just prefer the flavour, I would like to quit but so far just haven't found the willpower. 

Dog/cat/allergic: Have a GREAT dog, love all animals. 

Kids/allergic: None so far, willing to experiment. 

Am/pm type: Both, with a definite preference for PM.

Lively, outgoing/stay home: Definitely outgoing, very lively, but I like quiet evenings at home too. 

Level of security/insecurity (ego/financial/screening before meeting): I like myself. A lot. I'm very happy with who I am, the good man I've grown to be. If that's a crime, I'm guilty as charged. I don't have a great income; I'm on Disability and probably will be for the foreseeable future. Screening before meeting? You'd better believe it! 

Everyday habits/bug-a-boo(s), good and/or irritating/compulsive: I'm pretty easygoing, all things considered.  I can't stand rude or ignorant people, but I try to put up with them anyway. One thing I can't stand is "Whatever."  It's not an answer! Compulsively honest. I'm a bit of a Grammar Nazi, or so I'm told. I have the capacity to be an irritating know-it-all, but I try not to outshine people on a regular basis. The only exception to that rule is when I'm onstage.....I don't mind letting people know who the best guitar player in the house is!

Strongest want/need/desire: All I've ever wanted was the love of a good woman. Still waiting on that one.

Thing/being/"state of" you miss the most: Waking up next to "that certain someone special."

Personal quality/accomplishment or deed you are most proud of/regret: Having one of my poems published in hard-cover.  I'll be putting out my first CD soon, too. 

Spontaneous/gotta think about it: Both, either/or, depending on the situation.

Rate yourself on the following scales:

Neat/slob (home/car/personal): Slob.

City/country: Both. I like the country for living, but I like having access to the many conveniences, venues and opportunities a city offers.

Nerd/hip: I have my own style, and it's as hip as it needs to be.   

Assertive/wimp: No wimps allowed!

Quiet/talkative: Both, either/or depending on the situation.

Opinionated/go with the flow: When canoeing, I prefer going with the flow. Otherwise, I tend to blaze my own trail. 

Open to new ideas/my way or the highway: For the most part I'm pretty easy-going and willing to try new things.  On some things, though, I just won't budge......like haircuts, karaoke, and anything that would compromise my personal sense of honour/code of conduct. Don't get me wrong, karaoke is okay for some folks, I just prefer getting it on with real musicians! 

Leader/follower: That all depends on just how comfortable I am with the subject matter, how well I know my way around the terrain. 

Instigator/peacemaker: While I can instigate with the best of them, I prefer pouring oil on troubled waters. I'd rather have most of the people around me in a good mood, wouldn't you?

Causes you support/fight (for or against) actively/ignore: I can't stand extremists, especially the ones who would try to dictate my life to me. While I support the fight against cruelty to animals, I draw the line at the actions of certain irresponsible parties. As a leathercrafter, I get a whole lot of grief from certain extremists, but I look at it this way; people are going to continue to eat animals no matter how much trouble these extremists cause, and if we didn't do something with the hides, there'd be a million tons (look it up, really!) of hides just rotting each and every year!  We're keeping all of that out of the landfill sites, so we can't be ALL bad! LOL!

Do you care which way the TP comes off the roll? Why? Not particularly....the only thing I want is consistency, meaning do it one way or the other instead of constantly changing back and forth! I have noticed, though, that when it comes off the bottom there's less likelihood of a "roll-out" disaster; you know, when you tear some off and it just keeps unrolling onto the floor? 

Usual wardrobe habits (casual/designer/whatever): Denim, leather, and silk. I prefer jeans to any other sort of trousers, I often wear leather coats, vests, belts, hats, boots, whatever, and I just LOVE wearing silk shirts!  They're cool when it's hot and warm when it's cold, and besides, they just feel SO good next to my skin! LOL!

Bed must be made? Gimme a break! 

Critters allowed in bed? Is there room for one more? Yes, and ALWAYS, except during.........

Want a cake for your birthday/usually bake/buy for someone special? Don't care much one way or the other as far as my own birthday goes, but I will go to ridiculous lengths for someone I care about. 

Like surprises? Ummmm, USUALLY, what did you have in mind?

Usually make decisions by gut feelings or research, include examples: I go with whatever will not interfere with my ability to look myself in the mirror. If making important, life-altering decisions, I'll do a whole raft of research but in the end I'll still go with whatever feels right inside. 

Thoughts on spirituality: I'm all for it, although I don't like having other peoples' ideas shoved down my throat.

Politics: See "Bed must be made?"

Beliefs/superstitions: I'm absolutely convinced of the existence of God, although I haven't personally made Her acquaintance just yet. Superstitious, not at all, although I'd avoid walking under a ladder out of simple common sense!

Education/intelligence: College grad, Performing Arts/English, intelligence-wise I'm in the upper 1/2 of 1% of the population. Not bragging, just stating the facts.

Social status: From? Upper middle-class background. Currently? I'm a sub-culture of one. Professional musician...take that however you'd like. 

Celebrity or fictional character you admire/respect/can't stand or people say you remind them of and why:  Robert, the 17th Earl of Bruce. He came from an ancient and noble Gaelic family, grew sick to death of the politics and infighting, and carved out a kingdom for himself. A great warrior and a real gentleman. 

No wasting time with the fireplace and walking the beach fantasies, what is your REAL idea of the perfect date. Have you had a perfect date? What's wrong with time spent by the fireplace or walking the beach? Okay, the PERFECT DATE is the one which leads to a life-long relationship with the one woman who can fulfill all of my hopes/dreams/desires and needs. Obviously I haven't had that date yet, but I'm still trying!

Gambling habits/drinking/drug use, past and present, RX details included; I don't gamble, period, not even lottery tickets. I can find plenty of more enjoyable ways to throw money away! Drinking? I used to drink fairly heavily, back when I didn't like or love myself very much. A few years living in Ireland were enough to cure me of that!  Now I rarely drink, and mostly for the pleasure or a drink or two, almost never more than two. I keep a bottle of single malt Scotch in the house at all times, the current one being an 18 year old Glenmorangie which I bought in December of 1997 and it's still almost half full. Like I said, I don't drink much anymore. I used to do a lot of drugs, mostly cannabis and mushrooms but some chemicals too (NO cocaine! I lost a brother to that stuff....oh he's still alive, technically speaking, but he's not my kid brother anymore, that's for sure!) also back before I learned to love myself. For the past three years, the doctors have had me on extremely strong pain killers, morphine mostly, but I'm in the process of quitting right now. I'm almost totally off now. Give me another month or two and I'll have this beat. Why such strong pain killers? See the next question! 

I have very bad knees. I had some old cartilage injuries from my sporting youth, (one of them actually happened in bed, of all places, but I'll have to get to know you a LOT better before I'll tell you about THAT one!) but I was still okay until I let some quack convince me that I needed surgery on my knees. After three operations, I now have advanced osteoarthritis in both knees. Some days they hurt like Hell as a matter of fact, but I'm fighting it.  I've lost almost 50 pounds so far this year, and I've only got another 30 to go before I'm back to what I like to call "fighting trim." Part of the reason I've been able to get fit again is because I decided to quit the pain killers and just cope with the pain in my own way instead. Warning; excessive pain can and sometimes does make me a tad "cranky" but hugs are great medicine! 

In general, happy with yourself/could use a little improvement/I'm a mess: Very happy with who I am and what I do. I still need to lose a little more weight, but otherwise I wouldn't change a thing......well, I'd still like to quit smoking, but I hate being pestered about it. 

Amount of time you are comfortable being alone: Any and all. I've been alone almost all my life, one way or another, so spending time alone doesn't really bother me. I'm at my most creative when I'm off by myself somewhere, but that doesn't mean that I don't have room in my life for someone special. When I need a little space I just go off into the woods or down by the river to create/meditate/get my act together. My best moments are those spent listening to the doves down by the river.....it's soooo soothing and good for the spirit. 

Current relationship status; I'm not involved with anybody right now. While there might be a couple of prospects, I haven't made any promises to anybody, so I'm perfectly free to choose my own path. 

True or false - how guilty are you? Not at all, actually. I'm far too busy living my life, producing music and poetry and enjoying myself to waste any time on such a counter-productive emotion!

Desert Rat #030444

What's the stupidest movie or TV show you ever loved? Don't watch a lot of TV. Can't stand the stupidity of most programming. I guess "Blazing Saddles" is right up there on this count.

How old are you? Physically and mentally? 57/36..... good a range as any, I guess

Age range preferred: Over 21.

Would you try peanut butter on pancakes/have you? Been there, done that, but it's gotta be crunchy style!

"10 Commandments of Meeting Cyberdates" I guess honesty tops this list. All else hinges on that. If you ain't honest about it, then why bother?

Special interests: Workaholic

List current and possible future (parents, grown kids) occupants of your home, describe it and them (include critters): Me and my mean-ass cat.

Location/willing to travel or move: Would love to travel more, but move? Forget that act! Took me too long to find this place! I ain't never movin' again!

Smoking/willing to put up with it/gag, no way: Yes, Marlboro Red IN THE BOX, damnit!

Dog/cat/allergic: Not a dog person. I can put up with one as long as it's quiet and don't get hair all over the place (or fleas).

Kids/allergic: YES!! Can't stand the little monsters! I've raised mine. I ain't about to raise yours!

Am/pm type: Also yes

Lively, outgoing/stay home: Yes, here too.

Level of security/insecurity (ego/financial/screening before meeting): I know I'm clean. Not sure about you!

Everyday habits/bug-a-boo(s), good and/or irritating/compulsive: Early bird. Usually up with the chickens. News, coffee, crossword, half pack smokes, heart starts beating, then mostly online till sun comes up. Then off doing something on one of my projects.

Strongest want/need/desire: Get out from under some of this stuff I do and take a break!! Damnit, I'm supposed to be retired!! I'll let you guess the rest. heh-heh

Thing/being/"state of" you miss the most: Done a lot of stuff. Can't say I'd really care to repeat anything in particular, like getting married again. ARRRGGGHHHHH!

Personal quality/accomplishment or deed you are most proud of/regret: I'm pretty aggressive in business and it's done me ok. Pretty good horse-trader. I've done a couple things I might change if I could.

Spontaneous/gotta think about it: Spontaneity is not logical.

Rate yourself on the following scales:

Neat/slob (home/car/personal): Slob/slob/shower often.

City/country: Country

Nerd/hip: Who cares?

Assertive/wimp: Very assertive.

Quiet/talkative: Yes

Opinionated/go with the flow: I got my opinions

Open to new ideas/my way or the highway: Always open to new ideas, however, over the years I've developed my own system of doing things. If you can show me a better way, then I'll think about it. Otherwise........

Leader/follower: Leader

Instigator/peacemaker: Both

Causes you support/fight (for or against) actively/ignore: Actively support 2nd Amendment rights. Pro-gun. Hate all politicians equally.

Do you care which way the TP comes off the roll? Why? YES! It comes off the TOP, you dumbass!

Usual wardrobe habits (casual/designer/whatever): I'd go naked if I could. Usual attire is cut-offs, mocs, ball cap or bandanna, sometimes a shirt, if I'm going somewhere. Usually nude around the house. My cat don't care.

Bed must be made? Bed?

Critters allowed in bed? Is there room for one more? Just stay on your side, unless you got something in mind. My side is the whole bed.

Want a cake for your birthday/usually bake/buy for someone special? Birthday? Quit having them.

Like surprises? Depends.

Usually make decisions by gut feelings or research, include examples: Both, depends on the circumstances. If I'm buying something new that I've never used before, major research is involved. (My satellite link for Internet is the latest thing. Only way to fly, now. No phone line needed!)

Thoughts on spirituality: You got your thing, I got mine. You don't bug me about mine, I won't bug you about yours.

Politics: Suck

Beliefs/superstitions: I believe if you don't make an effort to help yourself, don't look to anyone else to do it for you. I didn't take you to raise. When a man's down, kick him!! It'll give him the incentive to rise above it!

Education/intelligence: Yes, I'm educated and fairly intelligent. I do crosswords IN INK!

Social status: Who cares?

Celebrity or fictional character you admire/respect/can't stand or people say you remind them of and why: Hmmm.. Well, some time ago, I was told I sorta resembled Kenny Rogers and/or Sean Connery. I don't see it myself. Whatta you want? References?

No wasting time with the fireplace and walking the beach fantasies, what is your REAL idea of the perfect date. Have you had a perfect date? Perfection is in the eye of the beholder. It was good for me. Was it good for you? But, seriously? I enjoy good company, intelligent conversation, and humor. Whatever else happens, happens.

Everyone needs to be honest about gambling habits/drinking/drug use, past and present, RX details included. Been there, done all that. I like a good card game now and again. Pot limit, table stakes. Used to drink quite a lot, now rarely. Haven't even had a joint in probably 15 years. I don't even like taking aspirin anymore. No meds, except an occasional sinus tab, but I'm into herbal cures. I'm a "curandero."

There is no point to lying about appearance either, some people have all their original parts in working order, some don't - so what, if it makes a difference, say so. I don't consider myself a "hunk," if that's what you mean. If that's what you're looking for, look elsewhere. I'm about average, maybe a tad overweight, but when you get my age, that's allowed. I like petite ladies.

In general, happy with yourself/could use a little improvement/I'm a mess: I ain't had too many complaints, but nobody is perfect, no matter how hard they try. I don't go out of my way about it. I work hard and that's all the exercise I need.

Amount of time you are comfortable being alone: What's the gauge? Who knows? Sometimes I go all day and don't talk to a soul.

Current relationship status: Single, divorced, no "significant other," all by my lonesome. I have a couple of casual lady friends. One sorta kinda married, but it's her choice.

OK, anything else? Maybe a few key words a friend would use to describe you: What you see is what you get. Don't expect me to change my life for you. I'm willing to make SMALL compromises, but I've been single so long, it's hard for me to do things "different." Guess I'm just a hard dog to keep under the porch.

OK, folks, that's it for starters. The ladies are to be congratulated for extreme good sportyship - jumping into unknown waters! I am working next on the round-up pen for stragglers - guys know who you are. Do you really want to leave this in my hands??? Best get busy on those forms. My, my, I do believe this example would serve to deflate certain notions. Which of the species need suffer no further tardiness cracks ...

Get busy now, write a brief note to whomever you want me to forward it to (don't forget code name), using your best judgment about when to give out personal info or screen name. Next, go back to main page to copy the questionnaire, your listing will appear a.s.a.p. Won't hurt a bit :)

MsAtte2ude@aol.com

If you do not receive a reply from me within two days, please write again - mail has been known to go astray. You also have the option to use snail mail if you don't want me to see what you wrote - enclose sealed note(s) in a larger envelope, write code number in the corner where the stamp goes and don't forget the $2. handling fee for each forwarded note. Mail to: Martha Jones, 11469 Olive Blvd. #236, St. Louis, MO, 63141. Please allow a reasonable response time. No guarantees are implied, however Miss Attitude tends to delete listings and forget she ever heard of people who do not seem to be able to manage polite no-thank-yous.

Good news ladies, a friend has agreed to help the rest of guys get motivated :) And yes I know, your mother told you nice girls don't chase boys. That was last century, these days it's OK to initiate - it's still your choice when you wish to be caught.

Please help yourself to the banner, link back here.

Thanks to Elaine, a.k.a. BronxLady1, for the banner and all promo. Elaine is the editor/publisher of the Bronx Zoo - check out archives http://www.ladyszoo.com/Issues.html - always outstanding holiday issues, wide variety of links, 'toons, a bunch of stuff each issue is the best description. Watch it - can be a bit racy ...

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