LPNs
Licensed Practical Noogiests

A Day in the Life
Basket Case: Love dog on patrol
By Scar Too

It was going to be a good day. Mom was getting out the baskets, a big one for her and a smaller one for me. Basket day means I get to go for a car ride, see lots of humans, give lots of kisses, and get lots of treats. I can hardly wait! I knew when I got a bath, my toenails filed and my teeth brushed this morning that something was going to happen. First Mom has to fill those baskets with flowers and people treats and I know she will fill her pockets with treats for me.

Then we will load in the car and drive to a place she calls a nursing home. Here we are and there are some of my friends on wheels. They are at the front door to see me carry my basket to them. Mom grabs the basket just before I drop it on the floor 'cause I am in a hurry to wiggle and kiss all those paws reaching out to me. Hey, I got this group trained. Keep your paw in your lap if you don't want a kiss.

Mom hands out flowers and candy and then puts a couple treats for me in a few paws. She makes them make me do something really simple like down or sit. They clap and laugh and think I am the smartest dog in the world. OK, I am carrying my basket and moving on. I have about 40 rooms I visit here.

In one room is a human who can only do a down in the bed. He can’t see me because he can’t lift his head. He always calls to me and the lady in white puts his cage door down so I can step on the bottom rail and reach up to give him a kiss. It makes him smile. He always asks me to come back as I grab my basket and head for the next door.

The lady in white (Mom says she is a nurse) first goes into the room to see if the human inside wants company. At one door a human says she is too sick for company. Humph, I stick my head around the door because I haven’t seen this human before. “Oh,” she says, “a dog. You didn’t tell me it was a dog.” So in I go with my basket and she pets and hugs on me for a long time. Mom gives her a treat and she hides it in her paw so I have to lick and lick to get to it. She is laughing and talking to Mom. She tries to get me to get in bed with her and Mom gives me that look that means I will have to do a down-stay in a corner if I get in a bed. But, bow-wow, I don’t think that lady is sick anymore. We have walked two hallways and Mom has had to refill my basket a couple times.

My tummy is getting full. My mouth is getting tired so Mom carries the basket part of the time for me. There are two more of my friends. They are on wheels but can’t move. Mom puts a tennis ball in each of their paws and they can't toss it but they take turns dropping the ball. It bounces on the floor and I go get it and take it back to their paw. Their paws don’t work right because they can’t pet me, but they always smile. I kiss them anyway.

I am really getting tired now. I am about wiggled out. I carry my basket back to the front door and all the people on wheels surround us. Mom always stands behind me to watch my tail and to be sure I don’t get rolled on but I am not afraid. I give more kisses and get more pats and finally she has cleared a path to the door. I am so tired I sleep all the way home.

Mom says these humans don’t care if I am big and ugly instead of little and fluffy. They don’t even care that I am an American pit bull terrier! They like me anyway. It was a good day. 

Scar Too* is a multi-titled UKC bred APBT who works and lives in Arkansas with Lynn James

Yee dawgies - did that sound familiar. Thanks go to Lynn and Scar Too for permission to print.

More and more each day, dogs and other critters are gaining recognition for unequaled therapy value. Petting an animal has been proven to lower blood pressure. Who can measure innumerable other benefits? I saw plenty, all unforgettable, doing the "rounds" with Lib: http://therealmartha.home.mindspring.com/liblpn/default.htm.

We happened to get into the visiting biz due to a stubborn shelter board's refusal to act on requests. Admittedly, the teeny possibility did exist for problems but the main bitch/snivel/whine-whine, "Let's ignore it and it'll go away," was fear of a lawsuit. I didn't have anything worth worrying about and even if I had, I'd have probably taken matters into my own hands anyway - not that difficult a project to get going. Experience with "do-gooders" since has turned up an unfortunate number of clueless, squawkin' loony birds flappin' their wings for all the wrong reasons. Certainly most would faint at the thought of stooping to a poop scoop. Gawd forbid, a pup or kitten pee on their designer duds should they actually deign to hold one. I digress, sure felt good gettin' that off my chest though.

Hello to anyone poo-pooing the notion: you are one of them, and we don't want to know you. Do all who fight in the trenches a favor, write a check, and go away.

Stay tuned, a lovely pile of zingers is stashed for a future page

Obviously this is a must-send to anyone owned by a pit. More important: to anyone afraid of pits. Yes, there are some very nasty pits out there - made that way by stupid people and backyard breeding. (But yes, you do have to use caution and common sense with any strange dog.)

The pits I've known have all been true marshmallows. Big dogs, whatever they look like, have never frightened me - a St. Bernard and I were puppies together. Cujo? All I could see, book or movie, was a goofy oaf named Casey. Used that comparison in a recent, timely fear-of-the-unknown editorial: http://www.therealmartha.com/WARjingo/index.htm

Earlier in the WAR series, I put a skin-deep lesson on http://www.therealmartha.com/WADamageContrl/index.htm, using the scariest pit I'd ever seen as an example. All the WAR pages have lots of critter info and goodies (main index link below).

Who's afraid of the big, bad pit? Meet Achilles, a rescue. When he's not guarding his special little lady, he's working on PR and even has his own training and manners tips column: http://www.therealmartha.com/Achilles/index.htm

Miss Sophie meets special-needs kids

"Kissy"

When things go wrong
And life turns rough
And no one is thinking of me,
I close my eyes, and open my heart.
You're the angel that I see.

LOUiE, the mail man

LOUiE, a short-hair Tux, is now 18 years old. He has been a wonderful friend to Natalie, helping to hold her world together after her husband passed away.

LOUiE loves to write letters to residents of assisted living and nursing homes. He's been brightening days for their families too, making the elders laugh, for more than 12 years.

One day a number of years ago, Natalie happened to read about Dr. Jo Jo, a psychologist in the Miami area, and the The Rainbow Connection. Dr. Jo Jo takes LOUiE's and other Rainbow letters to various homes, gives or reads them to the elders, then sends their responses, and so on. Pocket poodles Mataya and Sunshine, many times dressed in holiday costume, carry candy to distribute too.

Dr. JoJo, Natalie and"Healing Dogs" Mataya and Sunshine

Write: LOUIEVK@AOL.Com - He is very busy looking for an agent to handle his new book, but has promised to answer all mail. Incidentally, I asked Natalie about the caps in LOUiE, "That's just the way my Louie signs his name. I guess you could call it his trade mark."

>^,,^<

I'd say all of the above demonstrates - as the saying goes - cats, do indeed, have staff!

The littlest wonder nurse: "Brillo" was unkindly, although, quite frankly, most appropriately named ... wire-haired terrier/Chi/just plain ugly mix and flea-infested to boot. However, due to her uncanny fly-catching ability and "inner beauty," I always called her Venus. She found her higher calling - after being dumped - as an alarm for a bed-ridden man who frequently forgot or neglected his medication on purpose. I know this sounds like one of "those" stories but it's true. She'd yap or otherwise make a pest of herself until whatever needs were tended to, then go back to sleep quietly by her patient's side. Goddess? I think so ...

Some dogs (OK, a few cats too) really are meant to go above and beyond. Lib loved everybody, all the time - and she was a kid magnet. Whenever possible, if parents weren't having a hissy, she'd knock a kid down and proceed with a thorough face wash. I can't stand to see any kid pulled away from a dog, so I enabled stalking when necessary. Lib would have her way - we'd sneak up in a crowd while parents were busy watching something else and let kids pet, pull, poke, hug ... she ate it all up - until we were caught. Mission accomplished, many a fear put to rest or avoided for future.

From Stacey M. Volpe, LPN: I wanted to respond to your LPNs article. At first I was offended that you would take the title of Licensed Practical Nurse and turn it into something as goofy as Licensed Practical Noogiests. Being an LPN myself, I am constantly defending my title and being made to feel as if anything less than an RN is not a "real" nurse.

However, once I read your article, I was smiling and could picture some of my former patients who would've preferred your kind of LPN over seeing me! There was nothing at all offensive, just heartwarming!

Certainly I intended no offense, although, after Stacey brought it up, I could see her point. Got her to the page anyway :) I asked permission to post her comments, the preference line especially. The two-legged types holding the leashes need to know their efforts are appreciated all around.

Stacey has a sideline, it occurs to me scrapbooks would be perfect honors all around too:  http://www.hometown.aol.com/ScrappinSquirrel

Your stories and pix welcome (and might win an award - see end of page): LibbyK9@aol.com or MarthaJones1@aol.com. Please use a clearly defined subject line and check mail ID notes below. I also have more great therapy-related links to dig out of reload land to use for new and existing pages. More the merrier, please send whatever you may have of interest. I'll get it all together a.s.a.p. Starting over with new hard drive is jes peachy, also very time consuming.

http://www.fidosforfreedom.org/ - Assistance and therapy dogs

http://www.aatonline.net/aat_001.htm - Animal assisted therapy info, links

http://assistance-dogs-intl.org/therstand.html - Standards

http://www.dog-play.com/dogpill.html - Clever presentation using drug sheet format for dogs as medicine

http://dmoz.org/Recreation/Pets/Dogs/Activities/ - Links to learn about therapy dogs, pet facilitated therapy and more to working and athletic dogs

http://www.domestipups.com/petting_pups.shtml - "When companion animals are used in nursing homes, the use of prescription drugs and overall cost of caring for patients is often decreased."

http://dogswithjobs.com/home.htm - - Explore the hit TV series that gets up close and personal with exciting and heartwarming stories about working dogs around the world.

http://dogswithjobs.com/dwj_tv/dwjtv.htm - Lists episodes and contact info (and in some cases Web sites) for featured dogs.

http://news.nationalgeographic.com/news/2002/10/1001_021001_READdogs.html - Dogs help kids read, "Handlers are given instruction on how to use their canine companions as literacy mentors. For example, instead of asking a child what a word means, the handler may say: 'Rover doesn't know what that word means. Can you tell him?' Speaking on behalf of the dog takes the pressure off the child if he or she doesn't know the answer."

Watch for link to memorial page for The Jazz Man, one above-and-beyond, truly outstanding search and rescue team member. In the meantime, find mini-bio (close to end of page): http://www.therealmartha.com/WARK9/index.htm - pics, stories and excellent working dog info from my "adopted" Army K-9 unit.

http://therealmartha.home.mindspring.com/liblpn/default.htm - Miss Liberty, a.k.a. Mutt Extraordinaire, Smooch Pooch

http://www.therealmartha.com/spayneutmisc/index.htm - Spay/neuter graphics on printable pages, telling it like it is - includes links to more message art

http://www.therealmartha.com/Smile/index.htm - Name that smile ... friendliest, most beautiful, goofiest, mischievous ... show off your best buddy's pearly whites

http://www.therealmartha.com/patriotcritters/index.htm - Special celebration for and by our four-legged family members

http://www.therealmartha.com/adopt/index.htm - Meet the Shelter Sweeties

http://www.therealmartha.com/Special%20Adopt/index.htm - Special Needs Adoptathon report, includes pics

http://www.therealmartha.com/adoptstray/index.htm - Rescue/Adopt Stray Day

http://www.therealmartha.com/Watchmy6/index.htm - SEAL pups? It's a cutie

http://members.aol.com/Libbyk9/Faveguys.index.html - Lib and her big, bad pit boy-toy (second pic)

http://www.therealmartha.com/toottoot/index.htm - Buster, All-American Boston Tooter

http://www.therealmartha.com/PianoDog/index.htm - Christmas Piano Dog

http://www.therealmartha.com/justmydog/index.htm - (S)he's not just a dog

http://www.therealmartha.com/journey/index.htm - Tribute to animal companions

http://www.therealmartha.com/puppiesaresocu/index.htm - Wise words on puppies, spay/neuter myth busting from Miss Liberty, ME (Mutt Extraordinaire)

http://www.therealmartha.com/FirecrackerDog/index.htm - Serious issue effort, on hold for the duration, but not forgotten

Useful link page, emergency and more, cats too 
http://www.geocities.com/~olelo/shelties/emergencydoglinks.html

Find more animal welfare links on all my critter pages (above).

http://www.therealmartha.com/WAR/index.htm - Central update listings

"The Whispering Activist" a.k.a. Martha Jones - Opinions and ideas, mine and from others, that everyone can use to get involved, make a difference and lighten the load; includes hoax busting/hype warnings, common sense editorial, links, household tips, easy recipes and a little humor along the way. Animal issues also addressed.

http://www.therealmartha.com/WAwelcomeintro/index.htm - The answer to terrorism is NO!
http://www.therealmartha.com/WARAwards/index.htm - Awards available

E-notes: "Hey there, hi, this is great ... " subject lines do not cut it, spammers do that. Due to at least 10 tons of junk coming in every day - when I don't recognize sender name and subject line is not clearly defined, I delete. Downloads, from anyone, even you my friend, also have to be automatic deletions. Most people do not realize scanners can't catch the latest virus/worms. Embedded images or copies of doc. files are welcome. Typing in all caps is not. It's extremely irritating and should never be used unless you mean to be screaming, which is even more irritating. I will not read, no matter the subject.

If you have a great article or essay you haven't seen everywhere, go ahead and send the first few lines. I will ask you to retype the whole thing if I don't already have it in proper form. BTW, double spaces between sentences, broken lines or any sloppy spacing are also major editing pains. Don't even think about forwarding with << >> marks. If you do not know about copy and paste into a new mail and blind copy courtesy, check http://www.rrudder.com/safe/bcc.html.

MsAtte2ude@aol.com or TheRealMartha@Mindspring.com
(Use only if LibbyK9 or MarthaJones1 boxes are full)

The Libby Award for Claws and Paws on the Keyboard
http://members.aol.com/Libbyk9/LibbyAward.index.html
exclusively reserved for critters who do their own typing

Winners are listed on Buster's award page
http://www.therealmartha.com/dadudeaward/index.htm  
For critters stuck with only their humans' page-making skills

OK, Buster has to show off his award now too ...

Actually, he was quite crushed about the oversight, and would have done this ...

if he wasn't such a gentleman.