Christmas Puppies for Sale

Ho, ho, ho it's that time of year again!

It is so hard to find an original gift. Why not a puppy? Sure to be a big hit on Christmas morning. Even somebody who doesn't like dogs will get attached to a fuzzy baby with big eyes.

Our company produces thousands of puppies each year. We manufacture by the truck load and ship them to pet stores all over the country. Now for the first time you can buy direct from the mill and save hundreds of dollars.

We have all breeds and will have thousands available for Christmas, most as young as three weeks. We recommend that you get them as young as possible because they are so cute when they are tiny.

All of our puppies are raised in small wire cages and learn to relieve themselves where they sleep. This means you will never have to housetrain! You can keep him in a small crate his entire life. If you have guests over you can always take him out and clean him up and he will look like a normal dog.

All puppies come with papers. Not that we give a hoot about the pedigree or even make an attempt to ensure that the papers match the pup but the papers are authentic and are suitable for framing. Won't that impress that special someone on your list? The papers mean that you can also breed your dog and make back your original investment many times over. Don't worry about producing too many puppies - any animal control department will kill the extras for free.

Some ask if we have any type of health guarantee. Sure they suffer nutritionally from not having mother's milk, but it's worth it to get one while they are so cute. We guarantee that your puppy will be alive when you get it. We may have more health problems than legitimate breeders but numerous trips to the vet should clear up most problems, maybe.

If it gets too bad, you can always buy a new puppy. Some breeders waste thousands of dollars testing for potential genetic health problems. Not us. We save that money and use it to buy nice stuff for ourselves.

If you are looking for a long-term family pet to be part of your household for years to come go to a reputable breeder. You could also adopt one from a local rescue group or shelter. But if you're looking for a disposable puppy that looks just as cute and will only cost a few bucks more, stop by your local pet store and be sure to ask for the Puppy Mills Farm brand. Or better yet, order yours direct from the mill and save even more.

Take advantage of our limited time only Christmas special now! Buy two sickly puppies at the regular price and get one nearly dead puppy for free. There are always several of these 'almost deads' in stock in back rooms. Call today to ensure delivery by Christmas morning 1-900-SICKDOG.

Author unknown, edited for this publication

Read on, it gets worse ...

Merry Christmas from Ye Olde Puppy Shoppe !!!
  
     We love our puppy customers -
     They're our #1 bread and butter,
     Especially right now at Christmas time
     With their MasterCards all a-flutter.
  
     They've heard about puppy mills -
     They don't live in a cave ...
     The tree-huggers dreamed that whole thing up.
     They're really quite depraved!
 
     All our pups came from "Local Breeders."
     These signs around tell you so;
     We paint 'em up and hang 'em high
     Cause we want you to know!
  
     We don't put a price on honesty,
     But this pup will cost eight hundred dollars.
     You don't think that we make the big bucks
     Selling fish food and martingale collars!
  
     But back to our Christmas greeting
     And why we wish you all Good Cheer;
     You see, you are $pecial folks to us
     At this festive time of year.
  
     We love you because you're lazy,
     Though very well-connected.
     You just won't take the time to find
     A breeder who's respected.
  
     You so rarely do your homework.
     (Santa, send us more trusting fellas
     With no time to learn about Leg Perthes
     Or Luxating Patellas!)
  
     Zoonotic's not a word you learned
     Playing Scrabble or at school?
     Color Mutant Alopecia? Duh!
     We love it, man, you're cool!!!
  
     Cryptorchids must be flowers from Hawaii you say?
     We will sure not tell you better.
     And you don't need to know Brucellosis, my friend,
     Unless, of course, you get 'er!!!
  
     You think that CERF-ing's what cool dudes do
     Somewhere out in California?
     And OFA's just another old workplace law?
     We're sure not going to warn you!
  
     But should we stumble upon someone
     Who is savvy in any way,
     We'll just start extolling the wonderful work
     Of the grand ole USDA!!!
  
     We love you cause you just don't care -
     You buy it because you want it.
     You can lay your cash on our counter, ma'am,
     If you've got it, you ought to flaunt it!!!
  
     We love the things you don't ask!!!
     It makes our job so easy.
     If you saw the sights behind the scene
     You'd probably get quite queasy.
  
     You'll never see the breeding dogs
     Who suffer on the wire,   
     We'll keep you from our back room, too,
     And put a padlock on the freezer.
     Those tiny puppies stiff and cold
     Would not be a crowd pleaser.
  
     We hope you have a vet you like -
     That pup's probably gonna need him.
     Ivomec wears off in 30 days -
     That's how long we've guaranteed him!!!
  
     Who cares when you get that blue slip home
     And find out that it wasn't true.
     Your local breeder's way out in Kansas?
     HO! HO! HO! That joke's on you!!!
  
     So come and see us, one and all -
     Join in our Christmas Cheer!
     We've strung the tinsel all around.
     If we could, we'd serve you beer!
  
     We've got the carols playing
     And a Santa, for good reason;
     We're all scrubbed up and lookin' good
     So you'll make our Christmas season.
  
     As you walk away with your new pup
     We'll shed a happy Christmas tear.
     Don't change one thing about yourself -
     Just do come back next year!!!
  
     (ching, ching)
 
   Dr. Cathy Priddle

Obviously, pet stores are not the place to go - however, if anyone still thinks the perfect gift would be a live animal, please consider the following.

The holidays are not the time for introducing new responsibilities.

A Christmas Pup
Be careful what you buy the children for Christmas

It's a week since Christmas and I'm feeling glad,
I'm tired and content from the fun that I've had.
Day one was all laughter, cuddles and play,
"Look - here's our new puppy" they'd all proudly say.
It's walk to the park, lots of new scents around,
Oooh, isn't this lovely, the friends that I've found.
Day two was the same, and days three, four and five,
It really was smashing, just being alive.
It's two weeks since Christmas, and I'm feeling all right,
Though I would like a walk and I'm lonely at night.
They're really too busy, to pet me all day,
And a walk to the park is just too far away.
That first week I slept, at the foot of their bed,
But now I am sent to the kitchen instead.
It's cold in the kitchen, and lonely and dark,
But they come down to hit me, when I whimper or bark.
It's a month since Christmas, and I'm feeling sad,
I think I've been naughty, I think I've been bad,
They leave me alone, for day after day,
And then get so cross when I start to play.
With cushion and curtain and slipper and chair,
I don't think I'd do it, if they could be there.
I don't think I'd puddle, on carpet and floor,
If only I had access, to beyond the back door.
It's two months since Christmas, I'm still feeling sad,
I know I've been naughty, I know I've been bad.
They no longer love me, they no longer care,
I'm too much of a nuisance, they don't want me there.

Author unknown

A Puppy for Christmas
Copyright Jim Willis 2003
http://www.crean.com/jimwillis

As Santa loaded his magic sack,
filled with gifts for girls and boys,
he added candy and sugar plums,
and batteries for moving toys.

At the top of the sack he carefully packed
the most special gift of all.
a darling pup for a boy named Timmy,
(who from the sack tried to crawl).

Santa turned the puppy around,
he righted him right side up,
'cause there's no more precious cargo,
than a precocious, bright-eyed pup.

As he made his appointed rounds
and down Timmy's chimney slid,
he discovered all the sack havoc -
what the blessed pup had done undid!

Santa looked around the room.
it was clear this family was poor.
He noticed the shabbiness everywhere,
and their poverty he couldn't ignore.

He waved his arms and a tree appeared,
adorned by blinking lights.
He sneezed and holly boughs were hung,
he created a Christmas sight.

Then Santa took to worrying
about a home whose ends wouldn't meet,
and whether it would be fair to anyone,
when a pup needs a lot to eat.

He scratched his head and knitted his brow,
accustomed to granting any child's wish,
and the puppy, grown impatient,
jumped up and gave Santa a kiss.

Santa sat down with pen in hand
and he wrote the following note.
He considered each word, thought long and hard
about every sentence he wrote.

"Dear Timmy, you are a splendid lad,
and I hoped to fill your request,
but for the animals of this world,
they each only deserve the best.

"One day you'll grow to understand
that not every wish may come true,
but I know there's a dog in your future,
who will love the best of you.

"The time right now was not to be,
I hope my other gifts make you smile.
One day you'll be a fine young man,
but for a dog, you must wait awhile.

"You see, a dog needs more than love,
he'll have needs, mostly your company.
You've yet a lot of growing to do,
and a dog's needs, I hope you'll see."

Santa sighed as he folded the note,
and the pup again pawed Santa's knee.
Santa patted the puppy's head,
lost in thought, absentmindedly.

The puppy worried about something amiss,
and whether he'd have a home.
Perhaps with someone to love him for life -
maybe love with toys and a bone?

Santa looked into the little dog's eyes,
in those eyes, love plain to see.
He said, "I've always wanted a dog myself.
and you'll be coming home with me!"

The time to add a new family member - if at all after considering the above - is after the novelty wears off toys and life is back to normal. Critters young and old need undivided attention and care to settle into your household's program.

Wrap toys, treats, food/water dish, leash and collar to put under the tree.

Circumstances do vary - this time of year might be perfect for someone who lives alone. However, choice is up to the individual ... beauty in the eye of the beholder (on both sides) and all that love at first sight stuff. You might offer to cover adoption/vet fees.

Give yourself a feel-good gift by making a donation to a shelter in someone's name or volunteering a little time. Take in a bag of treats, most places should let you distribute yourself.

Price is not the object here - I've seen some pretty spiffy warmies made out of sock tops and sweater sleeves. Roll the cuff like a turtle neck, cut out leg holes - get as fancy as you want about hems and trim.

Lib's fave winter fashion was a granny square "dress" - bustle ruffles and all. Gauge the squares to neck-fit and add on from there. Use Velcro to fasten the belly flaps. Knit squares would work too, with or without ruffles.

Please send this page to anyone who will circulate - the messages above need to be seen. And since the authors above did not come right out and said it, I will ...

To every puppy mill or pet store owner who deals with them: may you rot in hell.

Comments/suggestions: MarthaJones1@aol.com or LibbyK9@aol.com

Always room here to put up pics of your Christmas fur kids. Please use a clearly defined subject line for all mail (Christmas pups is fine). Due to junk volume and virus threats, unknowns must be deleted.

All dressed up for Santa
http://www.therealmartha.com/HolidayCritters/index.htm

Find links to more critter pages on my main index: http://www.therealmartha.com/indexgraphiccr/default.htm

Last year's Christmas page has a lot of critter stuff too: http://www.therealmartha.com/WARChristmas/index.htm

Buster with real Santa, Christmas friends and much more
http://www.therealmartha.com/Holidaze02/index.htm

Here's the right setting for a Christmas Angel!

Dashing through the keys ...
http://www.therealmartha.com/PianoDog/index.htm

http://www.therealmartha.com/CritterIndex/index.htm
Critter pages galore, from fun to serious and everything in between

http://www.therealmartha.com/HolidayCritters/index.htm
All dressed up waiting for Santa

A True Story of Christmas
http://www.bold-and-sassy.com/pupper/Cpupper.html
Very sweet